


For Better Or Worse

by sansytheskeleton



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Agender, Agender Character, Alphys is adorable, Angst, Chest Binder, Depressed Sans, F/F, Gender Dysphoria, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Monsterphobia, Other, Panromantic Asexual Character, Reader fanfic, Reader is basically an OC, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Build, WIP, a lot of angst starts in chapter four and then on, above ground obvs, btw this is like the slowest burn ever, crushes and sadness but there'll prolly be a happy ending, depressed reader, except it's onesided, first few chapters only have minimal angst, i dont think ill go into detail tho, i promise it's worth the read, i write professionally in an unprofessional way, iM A SLUT FOR COMMENTS, idk how long the angst will go, if it does, if not you can punch me in the face, if you dont like that i am sorry, if you love angst . com e here, ill add more tags later, it will take a long time, just warning you now, mention of rape, minor alphys/reader, papyrus loves his brother, probably awhile, reader has a background, reader has a nickname, reader is a senior, reader is italian, reader is panromantic asexual btw, seriously tho the good shit starts in chapter 4 and then on, snas and papaya make an appearance in ch 14!!!, that took forever, this might not get updated, v excited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-07-15 05:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 75,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7210502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansytheskeleton/pseuds/sansytheskeleton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your life is boring. You don't do much. You have pretty decent parents, but they're... ignorant in certain aspects.</p><p>Aspects of which hold an incredible amount of importance to you.</p><p>When you meet a shy lizard-like monster named Alphys, how will it affect your life?<br/>-</p><p>(Updated summary: 05-11-17. (May 11th 2017). Warning for self-harm, a few plot holes, a couple poorly written chapters, a lot of angst (really, what was I thinking?), and a ton of gayness. Okay, maybe not that much gayness. But you're pretty gay, so I mean... you just radiate gayness. Anyhow. Yeah, again, read with caution and whatnot. Or don't. I don't dictate your life. ...also, after chapter 14 i'm going to increase the quality... once i finish the fic entirely, i might go back and rewrite the whole thing to fix up some mistakes. please bear with me and my mistakes in this fic... i tried. thanks!).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Neb

**Author's Note:**

> okaaaay heyo people. this is my first undertale fic... that im posting. i have another super angsty fic i started a bit ago but i honestly have no idea where to go with it (okay maybe i do but i just dont know how to write it) and so i decided to start up another fic
> 
> this is basically just a self-indulgence thing im writing. bUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY! at least i am good at writing...  
> sorry if anything's a bit weird, though. i did write this from between 3-6am, so...  
> ill prolly proof-read it and fix it tomorrow  
> or. later?
> 
> just saying reader is 4'11. reader is v short. and an angry ball of rage. (i am a short angry italian okay gimme a break)
> 
> tHERE WILL BE LOADS OF ANGST TO COME  
> HOPEFULLY
> 
> IF I CONTINUE THIS  
> BUT YEAH  
> PLS ENJOY

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

“Augh,” you groaned from beneath your comforter, blindly grabbing for your phone and unlocking it so it shuts the fuck up. Reaching your other hand up to brush the mess of hair out of your face, you squint your eyes open to check the time: 7:30AM.

Ugh.

You pulled the covers back over your head and just huddled in the warmth for a few more minutes, quickly dozing back off…

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

“Ugh, shu’ up!” You shouting, quickly turning off your alarm again. You checked the time: 7:35AM. Damn you for setting an alarm every five minutes because you _know_ you will not get up otherwise.

You laid there under your blanket for a few moments, forcing yourself to keep your eyes open even though it was dark under your blanket. You looked around, focusing on all the weird colors that you always saw in the dark.

Groaning again, you pulled the blanket off your head - it was starting to get stuffy under there, anyway - and slowly sat up. Or, more like leaned upwards against your pillow.

You grabbed your phone and unplugged it, bringing it up close to your face as you unlocked it and checked your messages. You had a few messages from some of your online friends from different timezones so they messaged you while you were sleeping, and you had a few Instagram notifications but… other than that, there was nothing.

You read over the messages from your friends in group chats on Kik, and seeing that nothing was directed at you, you decided not to answer. You closed the app and opened Instagram instead.

You browsed for a few minutes, snickering at a few text posts and fandom-related things. Your eyes glanced up at the top of the screen - 7:45AM. Ughh, you only had fifteen minutes until you had to leave for school. Why oh why did school have to be so early? You were a night owl, goddamnit! You hated mornings! You plugged your phone back on the charger and left it on your bed.

You grumbled, pulling your blankets off and kind of… slinking to the floor and laying there for a moment. Yeah, you weren’t a morning person. You sat up and, on your knees, hobbled over to your clothes-basket and grabbed your binder, a red flannel, and worn, black skinny jeans. You wanted to look nice today.

You stood up, grabbed your beanie off your dresser, and made your way to the bathroom to the right of your bedroom. You only had, like, ten minutes until you had to leave, so you quickly stripped, peed, washed your hands, carefully clipped on your binder (which had a black tank top with red lining at the top sewed into it), buttoned on your flannel (even buttoning the very top button), and pulled on your black skinny jeans. You quickly brushed your hair as best you could, brushed your teeth, and then threw on your beanie.

You stood back and gave yourself a once-over in the mirror. You were getting really good at making yourself look nice within five minutes. You left the bathroom, shutting the light and door, went into your room and grabbed your phone, slipping it in your front pocket. You then grabbed your all-black converse (which went up to your ankles) and sat on your bed, struggling to get them on. Once you had them both on, you double-knotted them.

Finally satisfied, you grabbed your backpack and slung it over your shoulder. You checked your phone as you closed your bedroom door: 7:57. Perfect timing.

You rushed down the stairs, drank a cup of water, and then ran out the door to catch the bus.

You didn’t have a car - you kind of knew how to drive, but you still didn’t have your license and so you had to take the bus every morning to school. It sucks, considering you’re like the only senior without a license.

As you stood and waited for the bus in the cold morning air, you couldn’t help but wish your dad still drove you to school like he did when you were in middle school. But nooo, now since you’ve been in high school, you’re old enough to wake up on time and catch the bus.

…it took awhile before you actually managed to not walk into school two hours late. Well, even when your dad _did_ drive you, you still went to school two hours late. Oh well.

Shivering and hunching into yourself a bit, pulling your backpack around you closer, you sighed in relief as the bus finally pulled up.

Waiting for the other kids that were out there to get on first, you finally got on and made your way towards the back, sitting in the third row from the back, considering the annoying eighth graders always took up the very back of the bus. Whatever, you liked it in that third row. It was fine.

You placed your backpack on the outside of the seat, as if it was a barrier between you and the rest of the kids. You decided to sit and stare out the window, enjoying the warmth of the bus.

Once the bus pulled away, you decided to take out your phone and scroll through Instagram. When the kids started getting loud and annoying, you rummaged in your backpack until you found your Apple earbuds, plugging them in and blasting Panic! at the Disco.

Finally you made it to hell - uh, school. (Is there even a difference?).

Homeroom - not even two minutes in and you have to deal with being mis-gendered and people using the wrong name. You internally groaned - this was gonna be a long day.

* * *

You managed to survive through an entire day of being mis-gendered (you didn’t even look like a girl today! This was outrageous!), misnamed, annoying classmates, stupid schoolwork and teachers, and all the usual bullshit that comes with school. (You barely paid attention to any of it these days).

Once the bell rang, you eagerly grabbed your stuff and left the school. You almost went over to that person’s locker, like you usually did, until you remembered…

Shaking your head, you forced yourself to get rid of the thought. You were not going to think about _them_. Instead, you skipped getting on the bus and decided to walk to the library. Yeah, the library would do you some good - books are fuckin’ great.

So, tightening your grip on your backpack straps, you trudged your way in the direction of the library.

_Ding_

You stepped inside the cozy library, shivering and shaking off the chilly weather from outside.You nodded and smiled at the lady behind the counter - you came here pretty often, so the people who worked here were used to your presence.

You went over to one of the small tables and put your backpack on one of the chairs, turning around and stretching with the weight gone. In there were books you _didn’t_ care for. At all. ( _Fuck school_ , you thought bitterly).

You walked over to the isle with your favorite series - Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children - and were surprised to see a short (still taller than you, though), lizard… dinosaur? monster browsing in the section where the books you wanted were.

The lizard-person was hunched over, and you noticed them push something on their face - glasses, you realized.

 _A monster needs to wear glasses? Huh_ , you thought absentmindedly. You cautiously walked over, going around them and standing to their right. They jumped a little when they noticed your presence.

“Oh, sorry… I was just, uh, looking for… ah yes, this,” You pulled out ‘Library of Souls’ from the bookshelf.

“I-it’s okay,” Their voice was so high pitched! You found it kind of cute, “Y-you like the Miss Peregrine s-series?” The lizard monster asked, glancing down nervously at the book in your hands.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, I love them, actually. M-my favorite series,” You stuttered, feeling kind of awkward. You never liked speaking to people - let alone strangers, because everyone always assumed your gender once you spoke… even if they had to wonder before hearing your voice.

“O-oh! I love it t-too! I-I uh, just got into it, though… I-I’m halfway through Hollow City,” The monster smiled shyly at you, eyes sparkling as they seemed to be thinking of something. (Probably the book, your mind supplied).

“Oh, really? That’s great! I uh, I’m halfway through Library of Souls. Have been for… a while. I love it so much that I rarely pick the books back up because I never want it to end! Who’s your favorite character?” You asked, your nerves going away slightly as you talked about this book you loved - you usually found it easier when talking about books, shows, video games or whatever interested you.

“U-uh, probably Millard! B-because he’s invisible a-and all that… I-I wish I had that power,” They looked away for a second, lowering their voice at the last part, sounding kind of sad. You felt a pang of sadness in your own heart, relating entirely to what they said.

“Yeah, me too. Millard is pretty great. My favorite is probably Fiona, though. I love, uh, nature and anything to do with the sky or space… so yeah, I find her power really cool because she can command nature and all that. Plus I imagine she’s pretty, haha,” You rubbed the back of your neck, holding your book in the other hand. You glanced around the library - there were a few other people - and monsters - here and about, but not very many.

“O-oh, that’s c-cool! Fiona is d-definitely pretty, uh… cool,” the monster laughed nervously. “Um… oh, I have a friend w-who likes space as well! He’s a total space nerd, b-but he pretends he’s n-not,” The lizard monster shifted from foot to foot, adjusting their glasses and wedging the book they were holding under their arm. “W-what’s your name?” They asked.

You froze, panicking slightly. You don’t know this person. You could say any name. But what if they knew someone you knew and told them and then people started questioning you and found out you were LGBT+ and then everyone (who doesn’t already) hates you and-

“A-are you okay?” You were jolted out of your stupor, and you refocused your eyes on the small (yet taller) lizard-monster in front of you.

“Oh, um.. yeah… I’m… uh, you can call me… uhm… Neb. Yeah. Neb,” You stuttered out. “Uh, what about you?”

“Oh, h-hi Neb! I-I’m Alphys,” The monster - Alphys - stuck out their hand for you to take. You gripped their hand and shook it firmly.

“It’s nice to meet you, uh, Alphys,” You smiled genuinely - you always loved meeting people with similar interests in fandoms. “Uh, may I ask, uh… what gender you are? I-I don’t like to assume…” You asked once you let go of Alphys hand.

“Oh! Oh, I’m a g-girl. T-that’s sweet of you for a-asking… U-um, what about y-you?” She asked, as you both simultaneously turned and began walking towards a table together.

“Girl! I-I’m a girl, too! Ha, uhm, yeah… Female. That’s me,” You nearly shouted in your panic. It was one thing to give what you could say is a nickname - but to say you’re a different gender? When it’s so obvious you don’t pass, with your curves and features and voice? No, you couldn’t risk it.

You both sat down at the table.

After that bit of awkwardness, you both ended up discussing more of your fandoms - Alphys likes almost everything you like! You were internally screaming.

You both spent like, nearly two hours talking about fandoms - neither of you even opened your books. Now, here you both were, laughing and out of breath, trying desperately to keep your voice down. Alphys pushed her glasses up.

You pulled out your phone and checked the time - 5:43PM.

“Ah, shit. Well, it’s been fun talking to you, Alphys! But I gotta get home before my mom flips a tit,” You laughed, standing up and slinging your backpack over your shoulder, still carrying the book under your arm (you would check it out before you left).

“Aww, okay, Neb. It’s been really fun talking to you as w-well!” Alphys said happily. You noticed her stutter that she had when you first started talking had almost completely gone away as you both talked over the past two hours.

“Hey, by any chance could I get your number? I mean, it’s totally fine if not, considering I’m still technically a stranger but… it’d be cool to keep in touch,” You said, nervously pinching your arm through the fabric of your flannel, and then adjusting your beanie.

“O-oh yeah, of course!” Alphys stood up, telling you her number once you had your phone out.

“Great! I sent you a text. Hopefully I see you again next time! Do you come here a lot?” You asked, walking towards the door as Alphys followed. (You made a quick stop to check out your book, though).

“U-uh, yeah! I’ll probably b-be here again tomorrow… H-hopefully I see you then!” Alphys smiled at you.

“Awesome! I always come here after school. I’ll see ya tomorrow, Alphs!” You smiled back at her, waving and turning around.

“Bye, Neb!”

You left the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xxx-xxx-xxxx 5:47PM  
> heyo alphys! it's me, the nebmeister. myster? miester? idek how i would spell that
> 
> queen alphs 5:50PM  
> Haha, hey Neb! i have no idea what that would be either :-(
> 
> xxx-xxx-xxxx 5:51PM  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> \--
> 
> ok well. idk. hopefully you liked that. i know there wasnt really much about the monsters or anything but i just spend way too much time writing details. oops.
> 
> anyways it is sunlight so ima go
> 
> PLEASE let me know if you enjoy this first chapter at all
> 
> if you wanna see more pls lemme know
> 
> because otherwise i prolly wont continue this
> 
> and if i do i prolly wont post it
> 
> so yeah  
> LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
> 
> OK I LOVE YOU GUYS GOOODBYE <3


	2. Boring Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long story short, your life is boring. People at work suck, and you have a bad day. Oh, and you see Alphys again.
> 
> *Warning for self-harm*  
> I put *'s where there were spoilers for a video game and where there was self harm!  
> The self harm part is kind of important to the plot, but you can mostly just skim the place I marked!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! it's 3am again. oops  
> anyways, i honestly did not expect feedback on the last chapter! i thought i was gonna wake up, regret writing and publishing this, and then delete it.  
> buuut, even though i only got a few, your comments made me extremely happy and motivated to write more!  
> so i kinda... busted out another chapter. oops  
> it's kind of boring at first, but hey, that's Neb's life. boring  
> i promise that it'll get more interesting later! these first few chapters are just me giving backstory & building stuff up for future plot thingies 
> 
> okok ive rambled enough  
> please enjoy this chapter!  
> (sorry if there's typos, i'll read through this tomorrow and fix it then!)

Later that evening, you sat on your giant, blue beanbag chair and played Super Mario Sunshine. (You were a nerd). You were absentmindedly thinking about your encounter with Alphys - you had only met a few monsters throughout the years they’ve been on the surface. Your parents didn’t really trust them so they wouldn’t let you interact with them… Alphys, and the other monsters you met, seemed so nice! Your parents were overreacting. Just like with LGBT stuff, they’ll probably never learn to accept monsters living with humans.

Shaking your head, you decided to focus on your game so you wouldn’t think about that. Thinking about it pissed you off, and you would rather have fun playing your game.

*

You used FLUDD to clean up all the goop in the plaza on Delfino Island - you’ve beaten this game before, but you’ve completely started over. Again.

Running around, you had Mario save all the people from the goop, before addressing the giant mess of goop with the weird… goop… monsters? You didn’t know what they were called, but whatever.

The music turned into intense battle music, and you ran backwards and turned on zoom to help you aim. Every time the goop monster opened it’s mouth, you sprayed it with water. After three times, it made a loud, defeated noise, and disappeared. The camera changed, and it showed the statue returning above-ground.

“Princess, look! On the statue’s head!” The Mr. Toad dude said. (You didn’t know what his name was).

“…What?” Princess Peach muttered, staring up at the top of the statue.

And there he was - Shadow Mario. The dickbag that got you put in jail! Or, uh, Mario.

Once the scene ended, you chased Shadow Mario around, spraying him with water until he let go of Princess Peach, fell on the ground and disappeared in a blue-like fog.

*

You were about to continue until you felt your phone buzz. Pausing the game, you grabbed your phone from your lap and looked at the message on the lock screen.

queen alphs 8:32PM  
Hey Neb!! i hope you’re having a good evening, I really enjoyed hanging out with you today!  
oh, also, look at this

In the next message was a picture of Benedict Cumberbatch… with his face photoshopped on his stomach and his stomach on his face.

xxx-xxx- xxxx 8:33PM  
OH MY GOD NO THAT IS HORRIBLE WHY WOULD YOU SEND ME THAT I AM GONNA HAVE NIGHTMARES

xxx-xxx-xxxx 8:33PM  
but anyways yes i am having a good evening ive been spending the last few hours playing super mario sunshine  
  
and i enjoyed hanging out with you too! how are you? :D

You saved your game, exited and turned off your Gamecube. You attempted - and failed - to get off your beanbag chair multiple times. Once you were up, you straightened out your clothes - Doctor Who jacket, Doctor Who shirt, and Doctor Who pajama pants… yes, it was safe to say that you are a Whovian.

You looked at your phone and saw that Alphys was still typing, so you clicked it off and put it in your pant’s pocket, and opened and closed your door as you left your room.

You went downstairs and saw your mom in the kitchen.

“Hey, Mom,” you greeted, grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge.

“Hey, ____,” You cringed, “What’ve you been up to? You’ve been up in your room all night,” Your mother said, grabbing some twizzlers from the cabinet - which was down by the floor - and making her way over to the chair in the living room. Oh yeah, you guys were moving and so there were a shit ton of boxes stacked up in the living room, the couch was gone, and you had the porch-chairs inside for the time being. The TV and Playstation 4 was still hooked up, though, because obviously none of you could live without Netflix or Hulu. (The TV was standing on two cushion-table-like things (which could also be a foot-rest if you flipped the top over) and had boxes surrounding it).

“I’ve been playing Super Mario Sunshine,” You said, taking a swig of water. You liked to pretend it was alcohol. You turned and set the oven to 425º Fahrenheit before turning back to face your mom.

“Oh, nice. Have you done your homework by any chance?” She asked, giving you a knowing look.

You raised your eyebrows and puffed out your cheeks, looking away and trying not to laugh - you laughed when you were nervous.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Come on, this is your last year of school! At least _try_ to put some effort in it! It’s not like you’re going to college, anyways,” She said, turning on the TV and Playstation 4, and opening up Hulu.

“I _am_ trying,” You muttered bitterly. “Yeah, whatever. Um, could you tell me once this preheats? I’mma make pizza rolls,” You asked, turning and walking towards the stairs, water bottle in hand.

“Sure,” She said as she turned on whatever show she was watching. You make your way up the stairs - panting and out of breath by the top. Jesus, you were out of shape. Taking long, deep breaths, you turned completely around, walked down the hallway, turned left, and then turned right and you were in your bedroom.

You carefully stepped around your beanbag chair, careful of the Gamecube in front of it, and climbed up on your bed. You looked at the backpack on the floor - should you? You rarely ever did homework, and that was only when you were forced to (or you actually knew the subject). Every Thursday you found yourself in detention for an hour after school for missing homework. You still weren’t motivated to actually do it, though.

You grabbed your backpack and pulled it up on the bed. First, though, you pulled your phone out of your pocket. You had a message.

queen alphs 8:36PM  
Haha, sorry! i hope you don’t have nightmares. i found it on google and was horrified so i had to share it with you (none of my other friends are really into sherlock ;-;)  
I’m glad you have been having a good evening! whats super mario sunshine? whatever it is, it must be good if you’ve been playing it for so long

queen alphs 8:37PM  
anyways i am good as well! thanks for asking :) ive just been spending my evening watching anime. Oops

You smiled and quickly typed out a response.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 8:47PM  
hey sorry my mom was talking to me. anyways, you need to get your other friends into sherlock! it’s fuckin fANTASTIC  
f o r c e them to watch it

xxx-xxx-xxxx 8:47PM  
aND SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE IS A VIDEO GAME AND YES IT IS AMAZINH I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT WAS MY CHILDHOOD OK AND LIKE AHHH ILL HAVE TO SHOW YOU IT SOMETIME MARIO GAMES ARE AMAZING

queen alphs 8:48PM  
Omg, I’m sure it’s great. maybe one day we can play it together :D

You smiled. You had only just met the lizard-dinosaur, and you guys are already talking about hanging out more in the future? It made your heart warm. You didn’t really have very many friends, and the few that you had liked other people more. Sure, you did have good friends who were very nice to you, but… they also happened to be all around the world - anywhere but near you. It was really nice to have a friend in person - and for that friend to even talk about hanging out more in the future! Even though you just met. You’re baffled at the thought, really. You can’t stop repeating it in your head. (More like shouting).

xxx-xxx-xxxx 8:48PM  
yaaasss definitely! i mean, it’s one player, so we’d have to watch each other play but… yeah

xxx-xxx-xxxx 8:49PM  
heyy, i gotta go “do” my homework. and by “do”, i mean stare at it for an hour and then not doing anything and going on instagram instead

queen alphs 8:49PM  
omfg okay well good luck!! text me whenever, ill be here watching anime :-)

xxx-xxx-xxxx 8:49PM  
haha okay  
see ya!

queen alphs 8:50PM  
bye!

You smiled, locking your phone and placing it beside you on the bed.

“Oookay,” You muttered to yourself, pulling out your school binders and books from your backpack. “Here goes nothing.”

You stared at it, pencil (that you pulled out of your backpack) in hand, for at least twenty minutes without doing anything. Sighing loudly, you pulled out some of your English assignments - honestly, the only grade you could keep was in English. (Of the primary lessons, of course. You had good ‘grades’ in chorus, art, etc. You didn’t really like the, uh, ‘core’ subjects).

You went through it, filling in some of the answers about grammar and some other things.

“Ughh,” you groaned as you flipped to the last page - of course there was an essay. Always had to be an essay, right? Sighing, you read over the question.

“Oh, okay… I guess that isn’t too bad,” you said to yourself out loud. The assignment was asking you to write a short story based on one of the few options it gave you.

You loved to write, so you spent a moment thinking about each option before picking one about paranormal activity. You formed an idea in your mind for a few minutes, before starting to write it down.

…a few minutes later, and you were almost out of room on the page. You quickly summed it up, hoping it wasn’t too rushed. You hated that about school - whenever you got creative writing projects, you were only allowed to write so much. Writing was one of your favorite things, damnit! If there’s something you were willing to do, it would be writing! Why did you have to keep it within a small box?

You groaned, frustrated, and put all your stuff back in your backpack. All the other bullshit homework would be done… never. Whatever, that’s just another detention, right? Who cares.

You flung your backpack to the ground and flopped over on your side, grabbing your phone and opening up Instagram. You only saw two posts before you got a text from your mom.

birther 9:13PM  
Pizza rolls r done

Oh right! You nearly forgot about your pizza rolls… your mom must’ve put them in for you - how sweet. (Not really - she usually did because you always forgot. Oops).

You shut your phone, got up off the bed and slid it in your pocket. You nearly tripped and fell on your way out of the room - jeez, you really gotta clean it… eh, maybe later.

You ran down the stairs - not really a good idea, but whatever - and greeted your mom in the kitchen as she put the pizza rolls on a paper plate for you.

“Hey! Thanks, Momther,” you said, taking the plate of pizza rolls from her.

“Welcome,” she said.

“Where’s Dad? Shouldn’t he be home by now?” You asked, carefully biting the edges of one of the pizza rolls, dropping it on the plate when the sauce dripped out and burned your finger. “Ouch!”

“Careful, they’re hot,” Your mom said sarcastically. “And, Dad had a late meeting tonight - he should be home soon, though,” Your mom said as she sat back down in the porch-chair.

“Oh. Okay…” You pulled up another seat and sat next to her, noticing your dogs sleeping peacefully on the little nest of blankets and pillows and new doggy-bed you got them for the time being. “Aww, look how cute the turds are,” You said, gesturing towards them.

“Yeah, they’re losers! They’ve been sleepin’ there all day. Josh tried to sit on my lap, but these chairs aren’t very comfortable so he decided to lay on the pillow instead,” She laughed and shook her head.

“Awww,” You laughed too, shaking your head. You carefully ate another pizza roll - there had to be like, twenty or more on your plate. (You loved to eat). “So how’s work been? Is it still as crazy as ever? I kinda miss it, now that I’ve decided to go to school for my last year of high school,” You asked. Oh yeah, you were homeschooled between grades 8 and 11. You hated school with all your heart, but you figured being a senior couldn’t be that hard, and you wanted the experience of at least one grade in high school. It was proving to suck, as it always did.

“Oh my god don’t even get me started,” Your mother said, giving you a desperate look. “Frickin’… there’s still so much drama. I want to just drop the business already, maybe just let Dad stay and I’ll become a stay-at-home-mom. Or something,” She said, shaking her head.

Your parents owned a DJ business, as well as photography, videography, Photo Booth, and they had editors. It could get pretty hectic.

“Oh jeez. What’s been happening? Trouble with Rick still? Ashley? Or someone else?” You asked, leaning back in your chair as you ate your pizza rolls. It was always so stressful at work - all the employees acted like a bunch of middle schoolers! As fun as it could be, it also sucked.

“Ugh, Rick, who else? So apparently the little piece of crap that he is, went behind our back and booked clients we’ve had for years! And, of course, because he _used_ to work with us, they thought they were getting us. So this client calls in the office and asks ‘who’s going to DJ at my event?’ but like, we didn’t have them booked. Rick  _must_ have lied to them, making them think he still worked with us or something. Because why else would they call us? God, and just when I thought we could maybe trust him again and get on good terms. But no, of course not. He’s a compulsive liar and a drug addict. Jeez, I can’t believe your dad and I thought we might be able to be friends with him again,” Your mom ranted.

“Oh my god, are you kidding me?! Ugh, I hate Rick. I can’t believe him! He threw away great friendships and this stable business, just so he could go and ‘be on his own’ or whatever. If it wasn’t for us, he wouldn’t know anything about DJ-ing at all! That friggin’ liar. I can’t wait ’til the contract thing that’s keeping him tied to us is up,” You were outraged. Who _does_ that? Ugh.

“Yeah, I know. Can’t trust anyone these days,” Your mom muttered.

“Ugh, yeah,” You sighed, shaking your head. You were almost done with your pizza rolls. You got up to get some water when you heard the garage opening. “Dad’s home,” You said, filling up your cup from the water cooler.

About two minutes after having heard the garage open, which gave you time to finish your pizza rolls, your dad came inside through the garage door.

“Hey Dad,” You greeted, throwing out your plate and taking a sip of your water.

“Hey, kid,” Your dad said tiredly, going over to your mom (who stood up) and giving her a kiss on the cheek.He went over to the porch table up against the wall and put his laptop bag down.

“How was your day?” You asked, trailing him into the kitchen as he opened the fridge and squatted down, reaching for something.

“It was pretty okay, I’m exhausted though. How about your guys’s day?” He stood, turning and looking at you and your mom. He threw something in the microwave above the oven - you couldn’t see what it was, though.

“My day was fine. School sucks, as usual…” You contemplated telling them about your new friend. You decided against it, because if they found out Alphys was a monster, they would never let you speak to her again.

You instead turned and gestured for your mom to go.

“Mine was good, I stayed home and got some packing and cleaning done. It was productive,” She said.

You guys continued to chat about your day, until you finally announced you were gonna head up onto bed.

Once in bed, you laid on your side and read Johnlock fanfiction until you fell asleep. You think it was around midnight when you finally passed out.

* * *

 

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

You groaned, turning off your alarm. You almost decided to go back to sleep until you remembered your new friend - Alphys! You were gonna see her again today! Smiling, and actually excited, you got up out of bed and began to get ready. (Wow, nothing like a bit of motivation to actually get out bed).

You threw on black skinny jeans, a makeshift cami-binder, a Doctor Who shirt and a light blue jacket. You used the toilet, washed your hands, brushed your hair, and brushed your teeth. Lookin’ good and lookin’ flat, you went back into your room and put your black converse on, grabbed your phone and backpack and headed downstairs.

Checking the time, it was 7:50AM. You still had about ten minutes until the bus arrived… hmm.

You put your backpack on the floor.

You grabbed a bowl down from the cabinet (you had to reach since you’re so short), some Life cereal from the cabinet closer to the floor, a spoon, and the milk from the fridge. You poured the cereal and then the milk, put the spoon in the bowl and put away the milk and cereal.

You basically inhaled the bowl of cereal, still standing up, before you placed the bowl in the sink and grabbed your backpack. You looked at the clock above the stove: 7:56.

You reached into the front pocket of your backpack and grabbed your earbuds, plugging them into your phone and putting them in your ears. Today was a Fall Out Boy kind of day, you decided.

What a Catch, Donnie blasting in your ears, you tightened your hands on the straps of your backpack and headed out the door.

* * *

 

Mis-gendered. Wrong name. Mean and/or sarcastic joke directed at you (usually about your grades). You joking back, saying you’re just really lazy. Teacher being stunned you actually handed in homework for once. Wanting to stab yourself in literally almost every single class because you just can’t grasp any of what the teachers are teaching. Contemplating jumping out the window on the third floor. Deciding against it for multiple reasons - your dogs, your online friends, your fandoms, and that you will be seeing Alphys again later! Oh, and food, obviously.

You sighed. Today had been a long day. Your class was small, so everybody ‘knew you’. Except they knew you as a girl, as ____, and as ‘lazy’. Well, maybe you were lazy. You just could never be motivated to do anything. Oh, and you were the ‘girl’ that had no friends anymore. The only two friends you had (one of which you had a romantic interest in), turned out to be giant assholes and you ditched them years ago… then you were homeschooled, and then you… went back to the same school. You thought you missed it, despite the bad memories. There were some new kids, but some of them were the same. (Thank god the two you used to know weren’t there anymore).

You were loud. You were a smartass. You were seen as a delinquent kid - a troublemaker, always interrupting class with your sarcastic remarks. Nobody here really knew you; they only knew your humor, which you used in class as a kind of… coping mechanism. You knew nearly nobody, and you didn’t want to socialize with anybody.So you immediately put on your act from middle school, being loud and annoying, making stupid jokes, and pretending to be lazy. Nobody liked you - so therefore you never had to hang out with anybody, and risk being hurt again.

As lonely as it could get… you liked it this way.

By the end of the day, you were nearly in tears. You hated yourself for it - you didn’t want to think about past years. Yes, it’s been years, but you just… never got over it. You can’t get over _them_. Especially because for some stupid reason you decided to go back to that school. I guess you just always tried to look at the good things, huh? You thought you missed it, that maybe this time it would be better. You were wrong.

Once the bell rang, you immediately pulled out your headphones and blasted Fall Out Boy as you made your way to the bathroom - the girls bathroom, sadly. Why weren’t there any gender neutral bathrooms?

By the time you were in the bathroom, tears were falling down your cheeks. Your chest hurt, and you found it hard to breathe. You nearly laughed, looking around the bathroom - it was almost the same as you remember. You always came in here to go on your phone for twenty minutes during class - some teachers pretty much knew, but didn’t care enough to stop you. Whatever.

This also happened to be the bathroom where you always went in with your old friends. Some times were good, other times were bad.

But… you also came in here when things got too much. Like now.

You went inside a stall, wiped down the toilet before sitting down. You couldn’t handle the thoughts of _them_ \- you needed some relief.

You laughed in irony when you pulled out your old, beaten up, plastic pencil box. It had rainbow duct tape all over it, as it had fallen apart throughout the years and you didn’t want to throw it out. You felt like a middle schooler again when you ripped off the top piece (which was stuck to duct tape - you always just put it back on afterwards) and brought it down to your thigh. You sighed. You had done this exact thing so many times.

Except, you had eventually given up the plastic in favor for pencil sharpener blades - which you didn’t have right now, so this would have to do.

*

Images flashed through your mind of the past - _that_ ‘friend’ hitting you. _That_ ‘friend’ using you. You also thought of all the other assholes you had to deal with, and your troubles with your gender identity and sexuality and everything.

You pressed the ragged piece of plastic into your skin, dragging it across horizontally. You did that many times, until the skin was red and puffy. Tears were running down your face as you remembered the past - but this… this felt good. The feel of plastic against your skin - you only wished you had your blades.

You made marks across old scars. You even traced those three words, making them bold with the puffiness of your skin.

*

You were about to do more, but then you heard the bathroom door open. You held your breath, freezing in place as your hands went extremely cold and your heart rate increased.

The person went into the stall next to you, and you forced yourself to quietly let out a breath. Forcing yourself to breathe, you shakily reattached the plastic to the duct tape, put the pencil box in your backpack, stood up and pulled on your pants - wincing at bit as the fabric rubbed against your skin - and then grabbed your backpack as you left the stall.

You went over to the sink, looked at yourself in the mirror and cringed. Your eyes were red and swollen, and you could see the tear stains on your cheeks. You turned on the faucet to the sink, quickly wiping your face and eyes to make it look like you hadn’t been crying.

Once you were satisfied, you left the bathroom and headed downstairs, leaving the building and beginning your journey to the library - you felt a little better at the thought of seeing Alphys again.

 

_Ding_

You stepped inside the library, giving a weak nod and smile to the lady at the desk like you always did. She seemed to notice something was off and gave you a look that seemed to ask ‘are you alright?’ and you just nodded, turning and going over to the table that you’ve claimed as yours.

“Oh, hey Alphys!” You exclaimed, your mood brightening more when you saw the monster sitting in one of the chairs at your table, seemingly deep in the book she was reading - she jumped in surprise when she heard you.

You took a seat across from her, placing your book bag on the floor beside you.

“O-oh, hey Neb! I-I was just, uh… reading Hollow City - I’m getting closer to the end of it and I think I might d-die,” She stuttered a bit, readjusting her glasses as she placed a bookmark in her book, closing it and putting it on the table.

“Oh! I know how you feel. So I take it you’re enjoying it?” You asked, smiling a bit - you still felt shitty, but you did feel considerably better now.

“Yes, of course!!” Alphys exclaimed, which got her a ‘shhh’ from one of the librarians. You both giggled, Alphys covering her mouth. “U-uh, but yeah. How are y-you?” She asked genuinely, giving you a shy but sweet smile. Your heart clenched at the sight - she was so adorable!

After a moment, you realized she was still waiting for you to answer her question. Oh, right… you hated lying, but you really didn’t want to be depressing - especially with your new friend. You didn’t want to scare her away with your problems.

Your thigh ached.

“Oh, uh… I’m alright… how about you?” You asked quickly, diverting the attention from you.

“O-oh, I’m good! I’ve been spending the last hour or so reading Hollow City - agh, it’s just - it’s so good! It f-flows so w-well, and I love the pictures! W-whenever I start reading i-it, I forget that I’m actually reading,” Alphys said.

“Oh man, I know just what you mean! It’s another reason why I’m procrastinating reading it - it’s just _so_ good, and _so_ unique that I don’t want it to ever end! The pictures are so cool, and I definitely always forget that I’m actually reading. It’s just… it’s _so_ good,” You whispered at the end, dramatically clutching your heart and making a pained expression. You felt your mood rising every two seconds.

Alphys giggled, covering her mouth with her hands. You internally screamed - how could she be this cute?

You both spent the next ten or so minutes talking about the MPHFPC series, laughing and fake crying when talking about the sad parts. The topic drifted and you ended up talking how complex the universe was and how you wished you could have powers like the characters in the book. Alphys promised to show you some of her magic sometime.

As the hours ticked by, you completely forgot about your shitty day. You smiled and laughed with Alphys, joking and talking about everything and anything. You found out that Alphys was a huge science geek - not a surprise, considering she loves sci-fi. Except, unlike you, she’s actually smarts and _knows_ science stuff. You were surprised, however, when she told you she used to be the Royal Scientist back in the Underground! Holy shit, how much greater could this monster get?!

You talked about your love for space, art, and music. Alphys ranted about anime - it was complete gibberish to you, but it made you happy to see her happily talking about it. Alphys seemed really open, but at the same time… not? Oh well, all that you cared about was how easy you two clicked. Which was odd, considering you’re polar opposites! She’s super fucking smart, and here you are, a potato that sometimes does cool things.

She talked about some of her other friends from the Underground - specifically someone named Undyne. She mentioned a few others, but she mostly talked about this Undyne chick whenever she mentioned friends. It made you kind of sad - you knew you shouldn’t be, Alphys had other friends and her own life, but it just made you realize that, still, everybody likes other people more than you. But, again, you had just met Alphys, so you had no right getting upset over it. (You still did, though).

When she asked about your friends, you just kind of stuttered and said something about having some around the world. Alphys seemed to find that really fascinating - which surprised you, most people said online friends were ‘fake’ and ‘probably cat-fishing you’ and that you had no life because you could only make online friends. She seemed genuine enough, though, so it made you feel a bit better that she didn’t think you were a weirdo for not mentioning any friends nearby. (Which you didn’t have… well, except now Alphys).

Despite the few things that made you feel bad, though, you managed to have a great time - and your mood went from 0 to, like, at least 80 while you were talking to Alphys.

You pulled out your phone. 8:02. Shit.

“Oh man, it’s getting pretty late…” You said, subconsciously adjusting in your seat to get ready to leave. “It’s been really fun getting to know you, Alphys! I gotta get home now…” You glanced out the window. “Shit, it’s dark. Oh well. Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow?” You asked hopefully, standing up and slinging your backpack over your shoulder.

“Oh, how did the time pass so fast?” Alphys gasped, noticing the darkness outside. “Uhh,” she turned back to face you, adjusting her glasses, “It’s been great hanging out with you as well, Neb! And y-yes, I’ll be here tomorrow,” Alphys smiled at you, making your heart rate speed up slightly.

“Cool, see ya Alphs! I’ll text you,” You turned, heading towards the door to leave.

“N-Neb?” Alphys called out, making you turn around to give her a confused look. “U-uh, will you be safe getting home? It’s d-dark, and…” She trailed off.

 _Oh my god, how much sweeter could she get?!_ , you internally screamed.

“Um…” you pondered, turning and looking at the pitch-blackness from outside and then back to look at Alphys. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. It’s only a… twenty or so minute walk back home,” You said, scratching the back of your neck.

“You walk home?!” Alphys exclaimed. You nodded once, confused by her sudden outburst. “T-that’s unsafe! Here, l-let me give you a ride home!” Alphys offered, looking very hopeful.

“Uh…” You looked outside again. Should you let her drive you? It would be nice to not walk, but… what if your parents saw you getting out of the car that belongs to a monster? That would be a disaster, and you’d really rather not have to explain to Alphys that your parents are monsterphobic.

But… you _really_ didn’t want to walk home in the dark. “Yeah, sure, why not?” You agreed, and she grinned. You both left the library together and climbed into her car.

You gave Alphys… part of your address. You still didn’t want to risk your parents seeing her, so you figured she could just drop you off where she thinks you live. Besides, it’s an apartment complex and it all looks the same - who would tell the difference?

You spent the car ride talking about nothing in particular. It was pleasant. Alphys turned into the apartment complex, and you gave her the wrong directions - oh well, close enough, right?

You hopped out of the car. “Bye, Alphys! I enjoyed hanging out! I’ll text you later,” You waved to her.

“Bye, Neb!” She waved back as you shut the door. You turned and walked towards the apartment you said was yours, going around back until you heard her drive off. You sighed and went back around to the front, walking along the sidewalk until you made it back home.

“Where have you been?! You’re never out this late!” Your mom immediately shouted as your closed the door behind you. You winced.

“I was, uh, at the library,” that wasn’t a lie - you _were_ at the library. You just decided to leave out the details about your new friend. “Sorry, Mom. I just got distracted and lost track of time,” You apologized, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a cup from the cabinet, turning and walking over to the water cooler.

Your mom sighed. “Okay. Just text me next time, will you? I was worried,” She sat down heavily in the porch chair.

“Yeah, I’ll make sure to text you. I’m sorry again,” You said, feeling slightly bad as you drank some water.

“It’s okay.”

“Where’s Dad?”

“In the shower.”

“Ohh, okay. What’re you up to?” You asked, walking over to her, peering at her laptop.

“Nothing, just work stuff. How was your day?” She asked, glancing up at you.

“Uh, it was okay. Same old same old,” You smiled half-heartedly. You stood in awkward silence for a moment. You shuffled your feet. “Weeell, I’m pooped. I’ma head upstairs, take a shower and then probably sleep soon, soo…. goodnight, love you,” You said, turning and heading towards the stairs.

“Okay, goodnight, I love you too, ____,” She said. You cringed as you made your way up the stairs.

You threw your backpack in your room, grabbed some clothes and took a quick shower.

Afterwards you threw yourself on your bed, soon falling asleep after texting Alphys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xxx-xxx-xxxx 8:52PM  
> ayyee alphs. just came to say, yet again, i had a great time with you  
> i hope you're doing alright  
> i am beat, though, so imma sleep  
> goodnight, alphys! sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite!
> 
> queen alphs 8:54PM  
> Awww, i had a great time with you as well! I am doing alright.  
> okay, goodnight Neb! sleep well! :-)
> 
> -
> 
> ...okay. oops. sorry if this entire thing is shit haha oh well. i promise it'll get more intriguing later, like i said im just building plot stuff
> 
>  
> 
> okay okay well I HOPE YOU ENJOYED DESPITE IT BEING KIND OF BORING AND NOT REALLY BEING VERY UNDERTALE-Y YET
> 
> PLS LEAVE FEEDBACK IDC IF ITS GOOD OR BAD OR CRITICISM OR WHATEVER
> 
> IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP GOING LEMME KNOW BECAUSE YOUR COMMENTS GIVE ME LIFE AND MAKE ME SUPER SUPER SUPER HAPPY AND MOTIVATED TO WRITE! (and im never motivated to do anything, so please comment!!!)
> 
> i love you guys!! i hope you're all doing okay <3 
> 
> see you later!
> 
> P.S. if you have any ideas or anything you wanna see, just lemme know! i could really use the inspiration


	3. Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to know Alphys a bit more - even if a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo  
> im so glad to see that you guys are liking this!! because of that, i decided to get up the next chapter as soon as i possibly could!  
> i know i should probably like... not update every day... because one day i'll get writers block and have nothing to upload......  
> but oh well  
> aNYWAYS  
> WITHOUT FURTHER ADO  
> C H A P T E R T H R E E

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

You groaned, but not as much as usual. Blindly turning off your alarm, you blearily checked your phone - 7:30AM.

You leaned up against your body pillow (you had two body pillows - you lost your main pillow, so you just used one for your head and the other one for more support when you sit up), rubbing your eyes and yawning.

You fell asleep pretty early last night, so you didn’t feel as dead this morning. (Huh, I guess going to sleep early actually _does_ help).

Stretching your arms above your head and yawning (more like screaming - yeah, you were one of those yawners), you smiled when you thought about the previous night. Sure, the day sucked… (you felt your thigh twitch), but hanging out with Alphys made everything better.

You opened your eyes, looking around the room and enjoying the morning light filtering in through the cracks of your blinds - you felt good, for once.

After a moment or two, you got up out of bed and stretched, leaving your phone to stay charging on your bed. You went over to your laundry basket (you really should put your clothes away but… meh), and pulled out black leggings, a camisole, and your red Moriarty t-shirt.

You left your room and went into the bathroom, peeing before slipping on your leggings (wincing slightly - the puffiness had faded, but it was still sore), folding up your backwards cami as a makeshift binder, and pulling your t-shirt over your head.

You washed your hands and brushed your teeth. Grabbing your hair brush, you attempted to style your short hair today - it didn’t really work. You just decided to even it out like always, and make sure the purple on top was showing.

You were comfortable. You loved your shirt, but… you didn’t really like the leggings. Well, that’s a lie - you loved to wear leggings, because they’re comfy, but… you don’t like them because everyone assumes you’re a girl - even strangers, who can’t tell with your face. If they see you wearing anything “feminine”, they automatically assume. It pisses you off, and it makes you feel dysphoric and uncomfortable in public. But, you had barely any pairs of pants - so this would have to do for today.

Shrugging in defeat, you went into your room and went through the process of struggling to get your black converse on, and then carefully tying and double knotting them because the laces were too long and you’d really rather not trip.

You grabbed your phone off of your charger, grabbed your headphones (which was underneath your pillow for some reason…?), placed them in your pocket and then rummaged through your basket again before pulling a gray jacket with purple lining. It kind of looked like grain, the gray - there were dots of lighter grays all throughout it, which gave it a kind of… textured look. Your sister gave you it a few years ago for… either Christmas, or your birthday. You couldn’t remember. It was really old and beat up, though. She gave it to you when you were in middle school - and well… you never grew since then, so it still fits. Oh well - it was comfortable and you loved it, so fuck it.

Shrugging it on and leaving it unzipped (so people could see Moriarty on your shirt, duh), you grabbed your backpack and slung it over your shoulder, heading downstairs.

You still had time to spare, so you made yourself some oatmeal and drank some water - _man_ , you were not used to eating in the morning. Most the time you slept ’til the very last moment, rushed to get ready and then ran out of the door. Whether it be because of your excitement with your new friend, or the fact you got a lot of sleep last night - or both, you couldn’t be sure why you were waking up so early and actually _getting_ up. Oh well - you liked this, you didn’t want it to end.

You opened the microwave before it beeped - it didn’t really _matter_ , considering your parents were upstairs, but… old habits. You took out the bowl and quickly placed it on the counter - it was really hot - and then grabbed a spoon from the drawer near the sink.

Leaving your backpack to fend for itself in the kitchen, you walked over to the living room and sat in the porch chair. Ugh, you missed your couch. You should really bring your beanbag chair back down here…

Sighing, you leaned back and began eating your oatmeal - blowing on each bite before doing so. While you were eating, you couldn’t help but think about Alphys. She was… really cool, in your opinion. Sure, she was a little shy, but once you actually started talking, she was good at holding the conversation. She was a nerd like you - but she was way smarter than you. From what you could tell, at least. She had to be extremely smart to be the ‘Royal Scientist’ for the King of all monsters back Underground.

She was really sweet, as well. She always made sure you weren’t feeling bored during a conversation, and she was just… man, Alphys was just amazing. And she was cute, to top it all off. Sure, you didn’t know _that_ much about her, but from what you could tell, she was pretty great. You hoped that you guys could stay friends, even though it’s only been like, two days. She seemed really genuine, though, so you decided to put your fear of rejection aside. (It still lingered in the back of your head, though. Even though you had only just met, you couldn’t help but wonder if she wanted to get rid of you as soon as possible. Oh god, what if she doesn’t like humans? What if she’s being polite to you because she doesn’t wanna get in trouble? Shit what if you’re making her super uncomfortable-)

You cut your thought process off there, and tried to remind yourself that there’s no way she hated you. She could have politely said no to giving you her number, and then never met you at the library again.

You forced yourself to take deep breaths, repeating it over and over again in your head. _She doesn’t hate you_.

Finishing your oatmeal, you shakily stood up as you went to put the bowl and spoon in the sink. You ‘shook off’ your nerves, taking a few deep breaths. You looked at the time above the stove: 7:59.

Oh, shit. You grabbed your backpack and slung it over your shoulder, running out of the house so you would catch the bus.

Once on the bus, you put in your earbuds and listened to a playlist with a mix of FOB, P!ATD, and MCR. Putting your backpack on the outside like usual, you huddled up by the window and stared out of it dramatically as if you were in a music video.

And thus the day began.

* * *

 

School was boring; as usual. You went through the routine of being mis-gendered and misnamed, people pointing out that you didn’t do your homework and you just shrugging and saying “I’m lazy”, teachers shaking their head disapprovingly at you when you didn’t hand in homework, yet again; it was rather tedious, really. And then you spent lunch sitting alone at one of the tables, eating and browsing Instagram (or texting your, like, three…? internet friends - plus a few others in group chats). You then barely made it through the rest of the day, suffering through the classes that you understood practically nothing in. You would get frustrated and just stop paying attention, instead going on Instagram (hiding your phone beneath the desk), and pretending to pay attention. Oh, and during class you’d always make smartass remarks - sometimes you’d correct the teachers if they did something wrong. (Well, anything to do with English).

You sighed in relief once the final bell of the day rang, slinging your backpack on your shoulder as you quickly exited the school. Today was Wednesday - only two more days and then _finally_ the weekend. The weekend was almost always the only thing that you would look forward to that helped you get through the week - well, that and “so-and-so hours before I can go home and ~~_die_~~ sleep”.

Today, though, you were excited to see Alphys again.

Headphones in ears, you happily skipped (okay, not literally, but you _did_ have a smile on your face) your way to the library.

 

_Ding_

You nodded and gave a bright smile to the lady behind the desk as you walked in the library, her returning the smile and seemingly relieved you’re feeling better today.

“Yo, Alphys!” You greeted happily, placing your backpack on the floor next to you as you took a seat across from her. You paused your music with the button on your headphones and pulled them out of your ear, unplugging it from your phone and hastily shoving it in your backpack.

Alphys looked up from her book… she was in Library of Souls now! She smiled brightly when she saw you, pushing her glasses into place (which was unnecessary - you figured it was a habit. It was kind of cute). “Hey, Neb!” She exclaimed, shoving a bookmark in her book and placing it on the table.

You couldn’t help but smile - she still called you Neb, and she never even questioned the odd name! You were grateful, and it felt so nice to not be misnamed for once (in real life). You felt a flutter in your chest, and a warmth fill you up.

“I see you’ve started Library of Souls,” You said, smirking as you gestured with your head to the book on the table. You leaned back in your chair, trying to get comfortable in the hard, plastic chairs. How did Alphys even sit in these? Wouldn’t it be extremely uncomfortable? Oh well.

“Yeah!! The ending of Hollow City… I n-nearly died! I had to immediately start reading Library of Souls, a-and find out what happened n-next!” Alphys said excitedly.

“Oh man, I know what you mean. I had finished Hollow City when Library of Souls still wasn’t out - let’s just say it actually killed me. I had to wait months until the third book came out - I got it as soon as it came out; I could _not_ wait to read it,” You told her, remembering when you freaked out when it came in the mail, after months of waiting.

“O-oh man, that must’ve sucked,” Alphys gave you pained expression. “I would have died if I had to wait that long!”

“Yeah, I know. I did,” You laughed.

Alphys giggled - _GAH_ , why was she so adorable?

“Hey, N-Neb; so I was t-talking to some of my friends, uh…” Alphys looked away shyly, blushing, “about you… A-and I was w-wondering - would y-you want to m-meet them? I-it doesn’t have to be soon!” She quickly reassured when she looked up and saw your expression falter, “I-I j-just wanted to l-let you k-know… I-it’s just an idea,” She chewed on her bottom lip, eyebrows knit together as she wrung her hands anxiously.

“Oh…” You breathed, looking away for a second. She wanted you to meet her other friends? You liked Alphys, but… you didn’t think you were ready to meet her other friends. What if they didn’t like you and convinced Alphys to stop hanging out with you? “Uh… it’s okay,” You started, smiling sheepishly at Alphys to help calm her nerves, “I…” You bit your lip. “Yeah, may-maybe one day. That - that’d be cool, yeah, uh…” You subconsciously scratched at your thigh through the fabric of your leggings. “Maybe sometime in the future?” You gave Alphys the best smile you could muster. She seemed to relax a little.

“Y-yeah! It - it doesn’t have to be soon! Ju-just a, uh, suggestion,” She smiled back at you, glancing down at your chest. “Is that Moriarty on your shirt?!” She exclaimed, changing the topic and bringing the mood up a bit.

“Yeah! Of course it is, Moriarty is -“ You looked around the library and lowered your voice a tad, “fuckin’ amazing! I love the smol murder bab,” You snickered, feeling yourself grow happier - you were still slightly put off by the proposal of meeting Alphys’ other friends, but for now you could put it aside.

Alphys giggled, covering her mouth with her hands; she was wearing long sleeves today, and they went over her hands! You were internally screaming at the cuteness.

“Y-yes, Moriarty is definitely a ‘smol m-murder bab’,” Alphys said, unable to stop giggling through it. You grinned at the sight.

 

You guys easily kept a conversation going; mostly about fandoms. That was what you usually talked about - occasionally some other things, but not much. You both still didn’t know each other very well, and neither of you wanted to cross any boundaries so you kept it mostly to easy conversations.

An hour or so passed, both of you laughing and talking about fandoms - getting shushed multiple times - you were in a library, after all. You kept making fandom-referenced puns, and Alphys giggled and said you sounded like some guy named ‘Sans’. (You had laughed and asked if she was making a joke in reference to comic sans, but she said no - she actually has a friend named Sans. You tried really hard not to laugh).

As you both were laughing about some fandom thing, you quickly pulled out your phone and checked the time: 4:57PM.

“Hey, lemme text my mom real quick - last night she got upset I was out so late. I’ll let her know I’ll prolly be late again tonight,” You said as you opened up iMessage, typing out a message and sending it to your mom.

“Okay,” Alphys said, wiping away a tear as her laughs faded.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 4:58PM  
hey, imma be out late again. i’ll let ya know when im on my way home

You put your phone back in your jacket pocket, knowing she’d probably be a little while until she answered (she was horrible at checking her phone).

“Okay,” You smiled at Alphys, “now where were we?” You asked, your eyes lighting up when Alphys smiled back. (For a lizard-like monster, she was pretty damn cute. You knew you were panromantic, but you didn’t know it extended to monsters as well).

You both easily fell back into conversation, and you couldn’t be happier. With school and everything, these past few months you had been really depressed again - it was really nice having a friend to talk to. Yeah, you had your few online best friends, but you rarely skyped them and they weren’t with you in person. It felt good to laugh and talk to someone in person.

After awhile you both ran out of fandom things to talk about, and starting asking things about each other. ‘What’s your favorite color?’ ‘What’s your favorite food?’ ‘Do you have any pets or siblings?’ stuff like that.

You found out that Alphys’ favorite color was light green; you told her that yours was purple. Alphys favorite food was Instant Noodles, and (as much as you loved yourself some ramen), you had to say that any kind of pasta was your favorite food. (But if you had to choose, baked ziti was your Very Favorite™).

Alphys had no siblings or pets; you told her you had two dogs, a sister, a brother, and a brother-in-law. (Alphys immediately demanded pictures of your dogs, so you scrolled through your phone and found a recent one of them on the new dog bed your parents had gotten them while you were currently without a couch. Alphys literally squealed and exclaimed how cute they both were, asking for their names. You pointed to a dog with black and white spots, telling Alphys she was a rat terrier and her name was Tiffany. You then pointed to an all black, curly haired dog and said he was a poodle, and his name was Joshua. Tiff and Josh for short. Alphys was practically in love, so you had to show her a few more pictures for her to squeal at. The librarians shushed her multiple times).

 

 

You guys continued to chat, getting to know each other a little better. Alphys asked about your school, and you waved your hand in a vague gesture, telling her a little bit about it. You _really_ didn’t want to get on that topic. Alphys seemed okay with the vague details - thank god she didn’t ask more about it.

Another hour or two passed, the both of you slowly getting closer and learning more about one another. You were very content to sit here and talk with her forever - especially whenever you made a joke, she would laugh, cover her mouth, and then push her glasses back up (unnecessarily). You found it adorable. You almost squealed a few times, but you refrained.

You found out a little bit about some of Alphys friends, and while they _sounded_ nice enough, you were still hesitant of the thought of meeting them. You ended up telling Alphys a little more about your online friends that you had mentioned the previous day. You told her that you had two close friends in Sweden, a best friend in Illinois, and a few other friends here and there. You smiled as you talked about your friend from Illinois - you told Alphys that he had been your friend since you were around ten years old, and that you guys had first met when you were 14 and he was 15. You guys see each other every now and then still, but it’s hard because of money. But, after all these years, you both still managed to text almost every single day.

Alphys said that that was awesome, and she knew what it was like to have friends long-term - the friends she had now were the same friends from the Underground. ‘Oh,’ she added, ‘and now you, of course’. You smiled brightly at that.

You guys continued to chat for a little bit longer, mostly about nothing in particular.

You turned around in your seat, looking towards the window behind you and noticing it was dark out - again. You quickly checked your phone: 8:13PM. You also had a message from your mom.

momther 5:13PM  
Okay be safe

You shut your phone and slipped it back in your pocket, looking back at Alphys and shifting in your seat, getting ready to get up. “Hey, it’s gotten pretty late… again,” you laughed a little, “I should probably get going,” You said, feeling your mood drop a little at the fact you had to leave.

“Aww, o-okay,” Alphys said, pouting a little (cute!), standing up at the same time you did.

“Aaahh,” You groaned, stretching your arms above your head and arching your back. “ _Man_ , those chairs are _not_ good for my back,” You joked, grabbing your backpack and slinging it on your shoulder.

Alphys giggled a little. “Y-yeah,” she paused, seeming to hesitate. “D-do you need a ride again? I-I don’t think you should w-walk home in the d-dark,” Alphys asked, a little nervously.

You scrunched up your face in thought. “Uhhh…” Should you? It was fine last night… did you want to risk it? “Sure, why not,” You decided, smiling at Alphys and seeing her visibly relax.

“O-okay! Great!” She grabbed her book off the table, and then you both walked out of the library side by side.

You climbed into the passenger seat of her car, placing your backpack on the floor by your feet. When she buckled her seatbelt, it reminded you to do it as well. (You always forgot to buckle up, for some reason. That probably wasn’t very good).

“Ready?” Alphys asked, starting her car as she began to pull out of the parking lot.

“Yeah. Need my address again?” You asked and she nodded, so you told her your (fake) address again. You’d just… make sure she never came to your house. Yeah.

You pulled your phone out of your jacket pocket, quickly letting your mom know that you were on the way home.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 8:18PM  
im comin home now, see ya soon

Shutting your phone and placing it back in your pocket, you looked up at Alphys. “Thanks,” You said, turning and looking out at the road.

Alphys glanced at you. “F-for what?” She asked.

“For caring about my safety and offering to drive me home, even though we just met the other day and I could be a serial killer,” You laughed. “I’m not, but you know. It was just really thoughtful, I appreciate it,” You said, smiling a little sadly.

“O-oh,” Alphys was a little surprised. “W-well, you’re m-my friend! E-even if you weren’t my friend, I w-would still want you to be safe. I want e-everyone to be safe!” She smiled sheepishly.

“Heh, yeah. Thank you, though, it means a lot to me,” You said with as much sincerity you could muster.

“Y-you’re welcome,” She turned and looked at you for a second, catching your attention and giving you a small smile. You returned it.

The atmosphere quickly changed from serious when you cracked a joke, making Alphys giggle and both of you relax. You both joked with each other the rest of the way back to your apartment, laughing until your sides were hurting. At one point Alphys almost ran into someone, making you both gasp and laugh more, trying to calm down so you both wouldn’t _die_.

All too soon Alphys was pulling into your apartment complex, and the air was filled with solemn silence. Alphys parked along the side of the road in front of the wrong apartment, and you hesitated to get out.

You turned and looked at her. “Welp, it’s been fun,” You smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” She nodded. “Alright, well, see ya! I’ll text you,” You pat her on the shoulder, opening the car door and jumping out. You grabbed your backpack and slung it over your shoulder.

“Bye, Neb, I enjoyed hanging out with y-you!” Alphys smiled and waved at you.

“You too,” You smiled as well, shutting the door and waving. You walked towards the wrong apartment, going around it and waiting until you were sure Alphys had left.

Sighing, you went back around to the front, walking along the sidewalk as you made your way to your apartment.

“Ma, I’m home!” You shouted as you closed the front door behind you, walking into the kitchen. “Ma?” You shouted.

“Up here!” You heard from upstairs - she sounded like she was in her room.

You nodded to yourself, climbing up the stairs. You pushed your mom’s door open (which was slightly ajar), walking in. “Heyo,” You greeted, going over to her bed and petting the pups - who were at the bottom of the bed, near your mom’s feet.

“Hey, ____,” She said, looking up from her laptop. You cringed slightly. “How was your day?”

“It was okay. Kinda boring. School is repetitive. How about yours?” You asked, setting your backpack on the floor as you sat on the edge of your mom’s bed, making it easier to pet the pups.

“Yeah, that sucks. Oh well, only a few more months, right?” You nodded. “Yeah. Anyways, my day was alright. Did you notice that the living room was actually clean?” She asked.

“Yeah! Did you put all the boxes in the garage?”

“Yup. I don’t know how your dad and I did it, work was exhausting today,” She sighed, shaking her head.

“Ugh, drama again?” You groaned.

“Yeah. It doesn’t matter, though. Just stupid stuff with you-know-who.”

“Yeah,” You pursed your lips. “Dad in the bathroom?”

“Yup, where else?” You both laughed.

“Err,” You didn’t really know what else to say. “Well, I’ma head off to my room. Night,” You said, getting up and grabbing your backpack.

“Night, ____,” You winced, “Where were you earlier, anyway?” She asked as a second thought.

“Oh, I was just at the library, like always,” You said, trying not to seem too nervous. “I got caught up in a good book,” You lied.

“Ah, okay. Well, goodnight, love you,” She said, looking back at her computer.

“Love you too,” You walked towards the door.

“Night, Dad!” You shouted in the direction of their bathroom door (which was in their bedroom).

“Night!” He shouted back. “Love you!”

“Love ya too!”

You left the room, closing the door behind you. You walked down the hallway, turning left and then right, opening your bedroom door and stepping inside, tossing your backpack on the floor.

You threw your phone on the charger, leaving it on your bed as you went over to your laundry basket, pulling out some clothes and a towel.

You left your room and made your way into the bathroom, starting up the shower, stripping, using the toilet and then washing your hands, and then finally hopping into the shower.

You took your time, enjoying the warm water as you washed and rinsed your hair. You couldn’t help but think about Alphys - she was just so cool! You’re so happy that you met her. She was adorable and… you just couldn’t get enough of her, even though you had only just met!

Washing and rinsing off your body, you turned off the shower, opened the curtain and grabbed the towel from the counter.

Staying in the tub as to not get water all over the floor, you quickly dried your entire body, and then vigorously dried your hair as much as you could.

You stepped over the lip of the tub, throwing the towel on the floor and pulling on your underwear (ugh, you wished you had boxers), your pajama pants (light blue with little red hearts dotting it), and one of your many Doctor Who t-shirts. You then grabbed your (mismatched) socks, putting the toilet lid down and sitting on it so you could pull on your socks. (There was no way in hell you’d go anywhere barefoot).

Standing up, you grabbed your two bracelets off the counter (one faded, black rubber bracelet that used to say “phandom member” or whatever, but almost all the words and numbers had faded. The other bracelet had two light blue strings, and attached to it was a silver dolphin. Well, it was silver. Now it’s a… pinkish color) and put them back on. (Black one on your left wrist, dolphin one on your right).

Fiddling with your black, rubber ring (for asexuality - it was on your right middle finger), you left the bathroom, going back to your room. (You were too lazy to blow-dry your hair).

Closing your bedroom door behind you, you carefully walked around your beanbag chair (and hopped over your Gamecube), and jumped up on your bed, leaning over and grabbing your (shitty) laptop from the floor. It had a Doctor Who decal.

Turning it on, you waited for its slow ass to start up, grabbing your phone and pulling up iMessage. You texted your friend from Illinois.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 9:07PM  
hey, sage, remember that new friend i was tellin you about?

adam (the one in hell) 9:08PM  
ye

xxx-xxx-xxxx 9:08PM  
i think i have a crush on her

adam (the one in hell) 9:08PM  
oh god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xxx-xxx-xxxx 11:37PM  
> hey. just came to say i really have been enjoying hanging out with you and getting to know you these past few days :D  
> i'm exhausted tho, so ima be sleeping now  
> goodnight, sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite! (for whenever you go to sleep)
> 
> queen alphs 11:42  
> Aww, I've enjoyed hanging out with you too! Goodnight, Neb! sleep well! <3
> 
> -
> 
>  
> 
> h a  
> ahahaha  
> this wasnt where i planned for this to go???  
> oops  
> aLSO DONT WORRY THOSE OF YOU WHO CAME FOR SANS/READER  
> I PROMISE YOU: IT IS COMING  
> BUT LIKE  
> LATER  
> XD  
> IT WILL BE HERE EVENTUALLY I SWEAR
> 
> you will seeeeeeeee why i wrote this soon enough ;D
> 
> but anyways yeah. i hope you guys liked it!! i think for the next chapter ima make it super long so i can cover a lot of stuff & get the story moving (i know it's kind of boring right now, i just rEALLY LOVE DE T A ILS)  
> i promise it shall be better <3
> 
> well i hope you enjoyed  
> PLEASE leave feedback!!
> 
> it motivates me a lot to write more & faster if you guys comment so pls i am beGGING YOU 
> 
> (btw the doggos are mine)


	4. In Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Detention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst angst angst aNGST

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

No.

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

“U’hh fo’ the love of go’,” You blindly grabbed at your phone, shutting off the stupid ass alarm.

Sitting up (slouching up), you rubbed your eyes and squinted at your phone. 7:52AM.

“FUCK!” You shouted, then covered your mouth - thank _god_ your parents were all the way down the hall and used a sound machine. You just prayed that you weren’t so loud as to wake them.

You quickly jumped up out of bed, grabbing your phone off your charger and blindly making your way-

“Oompfh,” You fell face first into your beanbag chair. “Goddamnit,” you muttered, slowly lifted your head and blowing your hair out of your face.

You peeled yourself away from your beanbag - that’s it, it’s time for this sucker to go downstairs.

You carefully went around it this time, and grabbed some clothes out of your basket (which happened to be behind the beanbag chair). You grabbed a Doctor Who shirt, a camisole, and a pair of sweatpants.

You quickly ripped off your shirt, hastily turning your camisole backwards and pulling it over your head, folding it upwards as you so often did. (It made for a nice makeshift binder). You readjusted it as best you could, then pulled the Doctor Who shirt on.

You pulled down your pants and kicked them off, taking the sweatpants (black with white stripes) and pulling them on as fast as you could.

You checked your phone: 7:55AM.

“AGH,” you groaned loudly, quickly opening your door (forgetting to close it) and rushing into the bathroom. You quickly splashed your face with water, and hastily evened your hair.

Figuring you didn’t have time to use the toilet or brush your teeth (ew), you rushed out of the bathroom (closing the door) and ran into your room, going around the beanbag chair and grabbing your black converse, sitting on your bed as your pulled them on and double knotted them as quickly as you could.

You pulled your phone out of your sweatpants’ pocket: 7:57AM.

You jumped off the bed, going around your beanbag chair (stepping over the Gamecube), grabbing another gray sweater (with orange lining this time) that your sister bought you and pulled it on. Picking up your backpack and slinging it over your shoulder, you looked around the room with a somewhat pained expression.

“I’ll just do it later,” you said to yourself, shaking your head as you decided not to bring the beanbag chair downstairs now.

You quickly left your room, closing the door behind you and bounding down the stairs, chugging a sip of water before rushing out the door.

You made it to the bus stop just as the last kid was getting on the bus. You sighed in relief.

Your heart rate finally slowing down, you climbed onto the bus and made your way to the back of the short bus.

* * *

 

“____,” You cringed, looking up as your teacher scolded you, “Can you please tell the class why some kids like to slack off?” She glanced down at where your phone was probably (it was) under the desk, giving you a knowing look.

You sat up a little, awkwardly turning off your phone and sliding it in your pant’s pocket. “Umm,” the rest of the class snickered. “Because school is boring,” You wiped away your nervous look in favor of smirking, nonchalantly shrugging. “And slacking off is much more fun,” the class laughed.

The teacher rose her hands in a quieting motion, and the rest of the class calmed down, but still sniggered. “Well, ____,” She started and you cringed, “Why don’t you go tell the principle that?” She placed her hands on her hips.

You rolled your eyes and the class erupted in “oooOOoo”’s. Your teacher hushed them.

“Okay, sure, why not. I mean, it’d be better than this boring ass class,” You shrugged, standing up and grabbing your papers from your desk, shoving them in your backpack before slinging it over your shoulder.

“Miss __lastname__, don’t you dare speak like that in my class!” Your teacher gasped.

“Won’t happen again, promise,” You shrugged, winking at her as you stood by the door. “See ya, losers!” You saluted to your class as you opened the door, leaving the classroom and closing it.

You sniggered when you heard her muffled, annoyed voice come from through the door.

Sighing amusedly, you made your way down to the principle’s office. Whatever - if you got detention, it wouldn’t really matter; you always had detention on Thursdays no matter what because of missing homework.

Wait.

Detention.

You had detention today?!

You panicked, stopping in the hallway as realization struck. Alphys was expecting you later! What would you tell her? You couldn’t… you couldn’t just say you’re in detention! What would she think of you if she knew? She’s so smart and amazing, and you’re just… stupid and lazy.

Standing in the empty hallway, you quickly pulled out your phone and checked the time: 1:34PM.

You shifted from foot to foot, weighing your options. You could go to the principle and inevitably have detention later, having to meet Alphys an hour late.

Or you could just… skip. There was only about an hour and a half of school left, right? It wasn’t really THAT important. And if you stayed, a teacher would spot you and make you go to detention (literally practically the entire school knew of your record - it was a small school, though).

Fuck it.

You turned around and headed down the empty hallway, running down the stairs and trying to act normal when you passed a few other students and teachers that littered the halls.

Once you made it on the first floor, you glanced around. No one was nearby - there were plenty of doors. You knew you couldn’t go out the front doors because of the lady there that would ask for a permission thing to let you leave…

There were only a few doors you could go out of with a lesser risk of being caught.

You just… didn’t know which one you should go out of.

You saw a teacher walking down the hallway, and not wanting to look suspicious, you continued moving. Skipping the first door you could have gone out of, you made your way down the long hallway and turned around. The teacher was gone. Phew.

Glancing around once more, you made sure no one was around before you pushed open one of the double doors, going into the next small room.

Continuing forward a few feet, you pushed open the second set of doors and stepped outside, letting it fall shut behind you.

You walked down the few steps, glancing around as you took in the fresh air.

Now what?

You knew that the janitor was sometimes wandering around outside… you just didn’t know where he would be. He could be anywhere.

Also, you didn’t know where you would go. Should you go to the library? Would Alphys question the fact that you’re there early? You don’t really like lying. Sure, you may be seen as the delinquent kid, but lying makes you feel sick. You’d do it if you had to, but you mostly just liked to be honest.

Screw it.

You walked across the small path and then down the last step, standing on the sidewalk. You looked around again, making sure there were no teachers or anyone from the school lurking about. You turned left and carefully made your way down the sidewalk, avoiding and ducking down past any window from the school.

Finally you made it off school property and you basically ran the rest of the way to the library. (After awhile it became limping because you were not athletic at all and could barely run for more than five seconds without getting out of breath; especially with a heavy backpack). Luckily the library was fairly close by.

Stopping two streets away from the library, you put your hands on your knees (you had both backpack straps on each arm so you could run better) and forced yourself to catch your breath. You felt light headed.

Once your heart rate was finally starting to slow and you weren’t breathing so hard anymore, you looked up and straightened your back.

“Mrrow!” You sharply turned your head towards the noise, and you saw a small, black cat (kitten?) walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the road.

“Awww,” you made a face that’s best described as adoring.

You were tempted to go pet the cat, but knew you probably shouldn’t - it would probably run away, anyway.

You watched as the cat noticed a squirrel running down the sidewalk, and its ears perked up as it promptly began to chase the squirrel.

You laughed - may god help that poor squirrel.

Far away enough from the school, you decided to walk the rest of the way to the library, enjoying the scenery. (Okay, it wasn’t all that special. The sidewalks were cracked and you had to watch your step as to not trip over a root, and the houses around were shit. But… there were still trees, and you could see the sky, and that’s all you cared about).

 

You stood on the sidewalk across the street from the library. Biting your lip, you pulled out your phone and checked the time: 1:56PM. You pursed your lips and blew out a breath.

You usually didn’t meet Alphys until around 3:30. How early did Alphys even get here? What did she do during the rest of the day? You had no idea.

You were conflicted.

Sucking it up, you made your way over to the library - and went around it. You could just… hide behind the building. Whatever.

Peeking in through one of the windows (you had to stand on a wooden box that you found behind there), you noticed Alphys already at the table and reading Library of Souls.

Damnit.

Well, you guessed you’d be hiding out here for the next hour and a half.

Placing your backpack in the grass beside you, you sat down on the old wooden box and pulled your jacket tighter around you, zipping it up. It was spring, so it was still chilly out.

Pulling your phone out of your sweatpants’ pockets, you decided to just go on Instagram until the time passed.

Five minutes later and you were interrupted with a phone call… from your mother. Oh god.

You _really_ didn’t want to talk to her, so you just let it ring until it stopped. You also ignored the voice message you got from her, as well as various texts she sent.

You felt your hands shaking, and you weren’t sure if they had gone really cold from the spring air or because of anxiety. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears as you forced yourself to keep breathing.

 _Now is not the time for an anxiety attack_ , you scolded yourself, taking deep, long breaths. _You’ve skipped before. Sure, you got in trouble each time… but who cares. I’m okay. I’m okay. It’s okay. It’s just school. What would Mom even do, spank me? I’m an adult. It doesn’t matter_ , you tried to reassure yourself.

You came back to reality when you noticed your phone turn off. Sighing shakily, you put your thumb on the home button and pressed down until it recognized your finger print and unlocked.

With one hand, you reached for your backpack and unzipped it, rummaging inside until you found your headphones. Pulling them out, you zipped your backpack back up and plugged the headphones in your phone, putting the earbuds in your ears.

You needed something to relax you and make you feel better - so of course, you opened up YouTube.

 _DanAndPhilGames_ , you typed into the YouTube search. You clicked on one of their latest Sims 4 videos, and leaned back (as much as you could) and sighed as you began watching.

Five minutes later and you were laughing at their antics. Dan and Phil always managed to make you feel better - they’re always your go-to when you’re really down. They always help. You wished that you could meet them.

You absentmindedly noticed that your hands had warmed up, which meant they probably had gotten super cold from anxiety. Oh, and you had stopped shaking.

You continued to watch the video, barely able to suppress your laughter.

Halfway through the second video you started, it stopped when a message popped up.

         **Low Battery**  
20% of battery remaining.  
  
      Low Power Mode  
            Close

You groaned, tapping ‘Low Power Mode’, choosing to finish the video before turning off your phone.

Once the video ended, you checked the time: 2:48PM.

Ugh. Still too early. You shoved your phone in your sweatpants’ pocket.

You chewed your lip anxiously. Should you just go inside, say you got off early…? It was getting pretty chilly, and you were shivering slightly, and now you had nothing to do with your phone almost dead.

You sighed in annoyance, puffing out your cheeks as you sharply blew out a breath. You stared at the trees in front of you in contemplation.

Fuck it. Would Alphys really question it that much? It’s not _too_ far of a stretch, to say you got off early or whatever. _Ugh_.

You stood up (making sure not to be in front of the window), stretching your arms above your head as your arched your back, satisfied with the popping sounds as you relieved the stiffness in your bones.

You bended over, grabbing your backpack and slinging it over your shoulder once you straightened.

Ducking down below the window (which wasn’t really necessary considering how short you are), you made your way around the library to the front of it, walking inside.

_Ding_

You smiled weakly at the lady behind the counter, shrugging noncommittally when she gave you a confused look that asked ‘why are you here so early?’.

You walked over to the table you and Alphys had claimed as yours over the past few days.

“Heya, Alphs,” You said as you sat down in the shitty, plastic chair, putting your backpack on the floor next to you.

Alphys looked up, startled. “O-oh! H-hey, Neb!” She exclaimed, pushing her glasses up out of habit. She then shoved a bookmark in her book, putting it on the table. “Y-you’re here e-early!”

You winced slightly. “Uh, yeah,” You rubbed the back of your neck. “I… got off early…” You said awkwardly, mentally kicking yourself. _Man_ , you were bad at lying.

“O-oh, that’s cool! H-how are you?” Alphys asked, smiling at you. If she noticed that you had lied previously, she didn’t show any sign of it.

“I-I’m okay… what about you?” You asked, trying not to sound too suspicious.

“I-I’m good! Library of Souls is r-really good so far. I’m r-really e-enjoying it,” She said happily, bringing your mood up a bit.

“That’s good,” You said. “Uh - yeah, it’s really good, isn’t it?” _Jesus_ , you just couldn’t communicate today, could you?

Alphys nodded. “H-hey, are you sure you’re o-okay? Y-you seem d-different,” Alphys asked, giving you a concerned look.

You cringed. “Um… yeah. Yeah, I’m okay… It’s nothing,” You sighed, slumping in your seat. You saw Alphys chew her lip in the corner of your eye.

She didn’t say anything, which prompted you to continue. “I just-“ You were abruptly cut off when the front door was slammed open, and in came your mom.

Wait. What?!

“There you are!” Your mother stormed up to you, seemingly not caring that she was in a library. “Why didn’t you answer my call or texts?! I’ve been worried sick!” She looked at you with concern for half a second, until she saw Alphys on the other side of the table. Alphys looked very anxious - you couldn’t blame her.

Your mom stiffened beside you, straightening up. “Who’s you friend?” She said stiffly, clenching her teeth.

You gulped. “M-mom, c-could we… do this somewhere else? We a-are in a library a-after all…” You asked, looking up at her as she glared at Alphys with hostility.

You saw her relax slightly. She sighed. “Fine. Get your stuff. Dad’s in the car.” And with that she promptly turned away from the table, going over to the front door of the library.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry Alphys. I’ll… I’ll try to contact you later, okay? I’m so sorry,” You whispered to Alphys with a pained expression as you stood up and grabbed your backpack. “I’m so so sorry,” Your voice wobbled.

Alphys looked up at you nervously. “I-it’s okay… stay s-safe,” She whispered back.

You nodded stiffly.

Forcing yourself to not cry, you slung your backpack over your shoulder as you carefully walked over to your waiting mother. She did _not_ look happy with you.

You turned and gave Alphys one last glance, yelping slightly when your mom grabbed your arm tightly and pulled you out of the library.

Once outside you yanked your arm from her grasp, rubbing it with your other hand. She just gave you a look.

You both climbed into the car in silence, her in the passenger’s seat and you in the back.

“Oh thank god, are you okay?” Your dad asked you as soon as you climbed in, glancing at you with concern. He noticed you and your mother’s silence and expressions, though, and turned to your mother with a confused look.

“Just bring us home. We will discuss this there,” She said stiffly, yet again. Man, you really had pissed her off, hadn’t you?

Your dad nodded and turned to the wheel, pulling out of the parking lot and driving you guys back home.

You all sat in tense silence, and you wanted the world to swallow you whole.

 _Time to go to war_ , you thought to yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~no text messages to show~
> 
> hAHAHAH  
> sorry  
> ENJOY THIS CLIFFHANGER  
> MWAHAHA  
> im evil i know  
> wHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT?! [screams]
> 
> well!!!! this is finally going somewhere! i.. i didnt originally plan this... i meant for neb to know alphys for like two weeks... all good, fun... then meet the gang.......... i didnt mean for this to happen im so sorry
> 
> oKAY WELL I HOPE YOU ENJOYED I LOVE YOU GUYS PLS COMMENT IT MOTIVATES ME TO WRITE MORE!!!


	5. The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title sums it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello humans. i dont know how much i like this chapter...  
> but i'll talk more at the end notes. i hope you enjoy!

On the car ride back home, you couldn’t help but mull over what had happened in the silence.

You woke up late. You barely caught the bus. You slacked off in class, and you got sent to the principle’s office.

You then panicked, not wanting to have to tell Alphys why you would be late to meet her, and honestly you just didn’t want to have to wait so long to see her.

You left the school, running towards the library and skipping the last few hours of class, as well as detention.

You hid behind the library for around an hour, not wanting to have to give Alphys an answer for your earliness.

You ignored phone calls from your mother, and had a small anxiety attack.

Once your phone started to die and you were getting chillier, you decided to just go inside the library.

Alphys asked if you were okay, and when you went to speak… your mother appeared.

And now you were sitting in the car with your parents, riding home in an uncomfortable, tense silence.

You couldn’t stand it.

Honestly, you could barely even process the situation - it all happened so fast, and now you’re in the car and it just… it felt so… surreal. You couldn’t even muster up the energy to have a panic attack - you just… felt numb.

You stared down at your hands, fiddling with your black, rubber asexuality ring.

 _I should’ve just fucking gone to detention. I get it every week! My parents don’t care! Or.. or I should have answered her damn call! Why am I such an idiot? Why did I even go to the library? Of course that would be the first place they’d check! Goddamnit! I’m such a dumbass. Fuck_ , You closed your eyes, hanging your head. You were, in all senses of the phrase, done with yourself.

Finally your dad pulled into the driveway to your apartment, and that’s when you started to panic.

All three of you sat there in silence, hesitating to get out as none of you wanted to have this discussion. (Both of your parents hated confrontation - which meant you hated it _even more_ ).

You felt your hands start to go cold, and they began to shake slightly.

Your dad was the first to open his door - he probably wanted to find out just what the _hell_ happened back there.

You sighed anxiously, bracing yourself as you climbed out of the car after your mom.

You gripped your backpack straps tightly in both hands, pulling the backpack around you as much as you possibly could.

You followed your parents through the garage, crying internally when your dad pressed the button to close the garage.

All three of you went through the garage door, walking into the kitchen/living room area, greeting the dogs as they excitedly ran around you, Josh grabbing his toy and squeaking it as he ran around. When they noticed that something was off with their humans, they calmed down a bit, instead whimpering as they followed you guys around.

You stood awkwardly by the bathroom door (there was a a half bath near the front and garage door) as your mom walked into the kitchen and began… making food? Your dad went and grabbed the leashes, quickly walking the dogs and letting them pee. Once he came back inside, he sat down in the porch chair.

You didn’t dare to say anything - instead, you carefully tiptoed towards the stairs.

“Don’t.” Your mother said, her back still turned to you.

You gulped, stopping in place. You anxiously shifted from foot to foot - you didn’t really know why you were so worried, you were an adult for fucks sake! But… being the youngest child, your parents still treated you as such. Not all the time, as you were able to have good, adult conversations with them… but they usually treated you like a child still whenever you were in trouble. At this point in time they wouldn’t take away your electronics or really… ground you, per se, but… you didn’t even know what it was. Was it the tone of their voice? Or how they (really, it was just your mom) managed to make you feel like a child again whenever you were in trouble?

“Uhh,” You said nervously, trying to change your tone into a joking one, “So I take it it wasn’t a good idea for me to skip?” You asked, giving a forced laugh. Your dad snorted and your mom glared at him from the kitchen.

She didn’t reply, and just continued to make… wait, was she seriously making macaroni and cheese? What the fuck? Oh well, as long as you got some… you weren’t complaining.

Placing the pot of water on the stove to boil (after she had placed the mac and cheese boxes on the counter), she finally turned around and faced you. She gripped the island in the middle of the kitchen and stared at you before sighing, and hanging her head.

“I just don’t understand,” she muttered, shaking her head.

“Well, I mean, I’ve always skipped school. It’s not really that much of a shocker,” You forced a grin and a joking tone, shrugging when your mom stared at you, tiredly.

“As true as that may be, you always go to detention. You literally don’t care - why did you leave the school?” She asked, finally straightening up and giving you a more stern look. Your dad watched the two of you in confusion. “And,” Her voice took on a more angry tone, “who was that… _thing_? Is that why you’ve been out so late this past week?!” She was barely concealing her anger.

You took on a defensive stance. “First of all, _she’s_ not a thing. And second of all, so what if it is?” You asked, squaring your shoulders as you made yourself stop slouching.

“May I ask exactly what happened?” Piped your dad, still looking between the two of you in confusion from his chair.

“ _She_ ,” Your mother grit her teeth, pointing at you as she looked at your dad, “was talking to a… _monster_ ,” She said the word as if it was acid, scrunching up her face in disgust.

You watched as your dad looked shocked, then realization hit, and then… anger? Disappointment? Both?

“Why were you talking to one of those… filthy creatures? We’ve told you not to!” Your dad asked you, keeping his voice much calmer than your mother’s. It was still obvious he was pissed, though.

You were astonished. “'Filthy creatures'? Seriously, Dad? They are _people_! Why do you guys care so much?!” You shouted, exasperatedly, throwing your hands up in the air. You turned around and faced the wall for a second, taking a deep breath. Deciding to take your time and make them wait, you carefully placed your backpack on one of the steps to the stairs (which you were hovering by in case you needed to make a haste escape). You turned back around, glaring at them both.

“People?” Your mother shouted, “People?! They are _things_! They should _not_ be here! They deserve to be… locked up, or something! They should _not_ be allowed to walk amongst _actual_ people! Human beings! They could _hurt_ us!” Your mother angrily yelled, turning away from you and throwing the macaroni and cheese shells in the pot, grabbing a wooden spoon from the drawer and giving it a few stirs.

“Mother, do you even realize how crazy you sound?” You asked incredulously. “They have the same intelligence as us! They’re probably smarter, really, because they aren’t assholes like humans are!” You felt anger boiling up in your chest, spreading through your arms and finger tips. You felt it, and you knew this was not going to end nicely.

“Hey! Don’t you dare curse in my household!” She turned around, seemingly so shocked that you cursed. She curses! Why does it matter? UGH.

“Oh my god,” You said, turning slightly and closing your eyes. “I can’t _believe_ this,” You muttered to yourself, clenching and unclenching your fists. You turned back and faced your parents (your dad rarely said anything during these kinds of fights). “Mother. Mother, mother… oh my god,” you couldn’t even get your words out, you were so dumbfounded. You pinched the bridge of your nose. “You’re more concerned over the fact that I’ve been hanging out with a _person_ , than with the fact I skipped school AND detention?!” _Some mother you are_ , you thought.

“Yes, actually. Because you’ve skipped before! And, your father and I know that school makes you depressed!” She said, and you felt like you had been hit in the gut. That’s why she never gets too angry whenever you skip or miss school…? “But we’ve _specifically told you_ to never hang out with those _things_! They are called _monsters_ for a reason, after all! They could hurt you! They are not to be… _befriended_ ,” Your mother looked so disgusted, and you honestly just wanted to punch her in her stupid fucking face. She could be so _stupid_ with some things.

You glanced at your dad, who seemed less disgusted and more… uncomfortable? Disgruntled? Awkward?

You called over your dogs, who had been laying in their small dog bed together, watching the fight and whimpering slightly. Josh ran over to you, Tiff taking more time to stretch and walk over to you - she was getting old, so she couldn’t move as fast as she once did.

You kneeled down, scratching both of their necks once Tiff made her way over, talking to them in a semi-high-pitch voice.

“Yeah, hey pups. Mom and Dad are crazy, right? Monsterphobic buttheads. They just don’t like to accept _change_ ,” Your voice deepened on the last word as you looked up, glaring at your mother who glared right back.

You stood up, straightening your back as you continued to glare at your mother. Honestly, by this point you were no longer anxious - you were just _pissed_.

“Mom, Dad,” You nodded towards both of them, taking on a calm, condescending tone, “Are you racist towards black people?” You asked.

They both shook their heads. “So, why are you racist towards monsters?” You raised an eyebrow, feeling satisfied when you saw them falter.

Your mother straightened, still glaring at you from across the room. “They’re _monsters_ ,” She said.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!”

“It _is_! They are not _human_! They should _not_ walk among us! They should be… pets! Or… kept in circuses!” You were seething with rage at this point - so much so you were visibly _shaking_.

“Mom.” You started very slowly, keeping your tone short and clipped, “They _literally_ have the same kind of intelligence as us! They speak our freaking language! Why is it so hard for you to accept someone who looks different? I mean, you did it with black people. Why can’t you do it with monsters? They’re just trying to _live their lives_! They were _locked under ground_ for centuries! Centuries, Mother! They _live_ on this earth! They’ve always been here, we just never knew. They probably belong more to the earth than us, considering they have magic! You literally…” You stopped, shaking your head and clenching your fists, squeezing your eyes shut. “If you guys can love monsters in sci-fi shows, then you should be able to love them in real life,” You said shortly.

Your mother turned away, continuing to stir the pasta. She then opened the fridge and pulled out milk and butter, stirring it into the pot, as well as the cheese.

“That’s sci-fi. Science _fiction_ ,” Your dad pointed out. You squinted at him. “They shouldn’t be _real_ ,” He said.

You shook your head. “This is unbelievable. Especially for you, Dad. I thought you were unjudging, right? I would’ve thought you would’ve cared about the wellbeing of monsters. Guess I was wrong, though. Like I always am with you two - I think you guys will act one way, and then you completely do the opposite! It’s the same with LGBT matters! Mom told me she accepted it, but then you guys go on and _bash_ on it, and get angry whenever I talk about how it’s _okay_!” Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking. Why are you bringing this up?

“First of all, we do not _bash_ on it,” Came your mother’s voice, “we _do_ accept it. Second of all, where the hell did _that_ come from? That’s a completely different topic!”

You shook your head. “Screw it. Forget it. I’m going upstairs now, and you can’t stop me from seeing my _friend_ ,” You said, turning and grabbing your backpack - your dogs ran up the stairs when they noticed you were about to go up there.

You were halfway up the stairs when you heard your mother shout a couple words that made your blood run cold.

“If you continue to be friends with those _things_ , you may as well get out of _my_ house!” She shouted.

You continued up the stairs, feeling hot, frustrated tears start to form in your eyes. You walked down the hall and went in your room, the dogs already waiting there for you, and slammed your door shut once inside. You locked it for added effect.

Sweating, you yanked off your jacket, throwing it to the floor. You were so _angry_! How could your parents be so _dense_?! You made good fucking arguments, but nooo, they were just _so_ dead set on disliking monsters! Well, fuck them.

Your dogs were laying on your bed, clearly waiting for you to climb up and cuddle them. You shook your head, pulling your phone out of your pocket and climbing on your bed, placing it on the charger and putting it down.

You laid at the bottom of your bed, hugging your dogs and crying silently.

“I’m sorry you had to witness that,” You whispered to them, “they’re assholes. They just don’t know how to be accepting of new things,” Tears fell down your cheeks as a fresh wave of anger flowed through you. “I love you both so much. You’re such g-good dogs and I…” You turned your head, words catching in your throat. Tears continued to form and fall, and you just felt so _shitty_. “I l-love y-you b-both s-s-so m-m-much,” You cried quietly, shaking as you held them.

Tiffany licked your hand and Josh nuzzled your side, and you couldn’t help but laugh through the tears. “T-thanks… I l-love y-you s-s-so m-mu-ch,” You stuttered, lip wobbling.

You buried your head into Joshua’s fur (as Tiffany’s sheds and would make you sneeze), and continued to cry as you pet and held them both. It felt like you couldn’t breathe - tears were falling down your face, your throat was clenched up and it hurt, and you were shaking all over. You still felt the anger pulsing through your veins - mostly your torso, arms, hands, fingers, and head - but you also felt deflated. Did that make sense?

You were crying in frustration, sadness, anger, and because of anxiety. You _hated_ these kinds of fights. Usually these fights were about LGBT… maybe that’s why you’re so distraught. Past memories, including this new fight… you just couldn’t handle it.

You loved your parents. You did. You knew they loved and cared about you - hell, your dad once took you to Wendy’s and to a _car wash_ one time when you were upset about the lady at the nail salon place fucking up your eyebrows. (They also waxed eyebrows and such there). He took you to the car wash because as a kid you _loved_ going there, and you loved when your dad chose the rainbow soap. It made you laugh, feeling better even though you were almost crying in frustration. It was sweet how much he cared, and that he remembered that.

And your mom. You and her have had so many deep conversations about the universe and so many things. You even had been convinced that you guys had been thrown into a different parallel universe via the Mandela Effect!

They were great parents, really. They cared about your health and happiness - they only wanted the best for you. But sometimes… they could just be so _stupid_!

It used to only be LGBT stuff that would upset you. Ever since you were 12 years old (when you found out you liked girls), you would semi-frequently get into fights about it with them! They would _claim_ they weren’t homophobic, but it was clear they were. They also just couldn’t grasp the concept of transgender people.

Oh, they also liked to use the excuse that they ‘do gay weddings’ (for the DJ business) and so _obviously_ they weren’t homophobic.

Ugh.

And now, you were fighting over monsters. People. Living beings who had the same intelligence as you guys. Why did they have to be so stuck in the past?

You groaned in frustration, sitting up on your bed, looking around the small room.

The one tall, light brown, wooden dresser that had your camera and your set of Sherlock Holmes on top of. The shorter, identical wooden dresser which had your TV on it, as well as a few other random things.

On the floor in front of it was your Gamecube, as well your giant blue beanbag chair.

To the left of the beanbag chair was your mini fire-place-like heater, and behind that was a piano chair and a small keyboard on a stand. And then there was your window.

Towards the bottom of your bed (which was to the right of you from where you were sitting), was a glass desk with a few boxes stacked on it. Behind that was your big ass closet that held all the boxes you left in there from your _last_ move.

Then there was a small wall, which gave a little indent area where the door was. The wall was like that because of the closet - by the door, a light switch was on that wall.

The room was small, but it was cozy. At the top of your bed was a shelf-like thing, which held a few possessions of yours. You slept on a twin bed - which matched the wooden dressers. Below the bed were drawers - which was great, because it meant you had no ‘underneath’ to your bed. You were a very paranoid person - so this bed was perfect; you didn’t have to worry about anything grabbing your feet when you stepped over your bed. (You knew that was irrational, but you couldn’t help but think like that).

There was also of course a few messes of clothes, and there were your two laundry baskets beneath the glass desk.

A few video games and tissues littered the floor, and you had a tripod hiding away in the gap between the two dressers.

As you took note of your surroundings, it helped to calm you down and ground you back to reality. Your breathing was normal, and you were no longer crying. You felt… numb. Dried up. Used. Tired.

You scooted over and laid down in bed, pulling the covers over you and grabbing your phone. You laid on your side so you could use it while it stayed charging.

Bringing up iMessage, you texted the one friend you knew you could always count on.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 3:57PM  
i fucking hate my parents so much

You took a few minutes to explain everything that had happened today.

adam (the one in hell) 4:03PM  
jesus christ that’s so stupid

xxx-xxx-xxxx 4:03PM  
I KNOW

You groaned, closing your eyes in frustration as you waited for Sage to finish typing. Gah, just talking about it made you upset again. Why did this have to happen?

adam (the one in hell) 4:03PM  
idk man like if she told you to leave you may as well do it. you’re 18 so it’s not like they can file a police report  
i say to get up and leave like ‘lmao u told me to leave so i am fuk u and ur monsterphobic asses’ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

You hesitated, your thumbs hovering above the keyboard. You didn’t really want to ‘run away’… but as he said, your parents couldn’t do anything about it… should you?

xxx-xxx-xxxx 4:04PM  
yeah… idk. im just super pissed off and.. ugh. i just dont know why theyre so bad at being accepting with things different than them, yaknow? first it was anyone gay or trans, now it’s monsters as well and uGH i dont understand them

adam (the one in hell) 4:04PM  
yeah. they’re assholes ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

xxx-xxx-xxxx 4:05PM  
yeah… i guess. hey, well i think imma go and like… idk, just lay face flat on my bed for awhile and avoid my parents. i’ll text ya later, okay? i love ya, thanks for being there for me

adam (the one in hell) 4:05PM  
ily2 bitch  
text me whenever

xxx-xxx-xxxx 4:05PM  
jerk  
and i shall

You sighed, clicking the back arrow in Messages (so you wouldn’t leave your conversation with Sage open), pressed the home screen button and then locked your phone.

Throwing your phone screen-down on your bed, you turned and laid on your back, groaning as you pulled your covers over your head - or, you tried to, but your dogs were taking up a lot of the bed.

You laughed. “Guys, I happen to need this blanket,” You said, sitting up and crossing your legs as you leaned towards them, petting them. “Yeah, I know. You don’t wanna move. It’s okay, you losers,” you scratched behind their ears. “I love you guys, so you can use my blanket as much as you want. You both always manage to make me feel better when I’m sad,” you laid down, semi-on top of them, but holding your weight up as to not crush them - it was kind of like an awkward hug. You kissed them both.

Leaning back against the wall, you sighed.

Should you really run away? You had your dogs here… you would miss the hell out of them - you had them ever since you were young. They were getting old now, but… you really didn’t want to leave them. Plus, you had your TV, your video games, your bed, your blankets, food, water, a _home_. If you ran away, you’d be leaving almost all of your belongings behind - did you _really_ want to do that?

And as much as your parents could be stupid, you still loved them. You knew they cared about you, and they would be sad if you ran away. Plus, you knew your mom probably said what she said in her anger… she did that a lot - saying things she didn’t mean.

But… she still said it. She’s said a lot of mean things, but she’s never _basically_ kicked you out. Sure, she didn’t actually - but that’s what it felt like.

You groaned - this was so difficult.

You were eighteen years old; you were an adult. School was almost over, and soon you’d be moving out, right? Should you just stay and wait it out until you move out, or… should you leave now?

You turned over on your stomach and squished your face into your pillow, screaming in frustration. This was so conflicting - should you leave or should you not leave? You couldn’t decide. There were _way_ too many pros and cons.

GAH, why did this have to be so hard?!

You ended up dozing off, exhausted, and you figured you could sleep on it.

Ten minutes later you were woken from your light sleep when you felt your phone buzz - it was from your mother. Oh god.

momther 4:19PM  
We love u, ____. Plz come back downstairs and we can hash this out like adults. I love u. Let’s resolve this

You squinted at your phone, feeling anger bubble up inside you again. She wanted to make up? What was there to make up over? She told you to get out of her house if you wanted to continue hanging out with monsters! And, she was being a total asshole over monster kind. She just can’t seem to get it through her head that _they are people too_.

You decided to ignore her text, staying in your room. Fuck them.

You made your decision - you’re going to leave.

If that requires dropping out of school, then so be it! You hated school, anyway. You didn’t care. You’ve always been bad at it, why continue going when all you felt was stupid when you were there? There were only a few months left, and it’s not like you were going to college, anyway.

Yeah. You had money - you saved up enough over the years when you were a teenager from working with your parents at their business - you would survive by yourself. You’d just have to find a new job to keep gaining income. Yeah. This could work. Yeah.

You began to formulate a plan in your head about how and when you’d leave - yeah… this could work…?

You texted Sage and asked him for help.

* * *

 

You eventually ended up having to talk to your parents again, mainly because they wouldn’t leave you alone otherwise (and because you really wanted that macaroni and cheese your mom made). They told you that they loved you and wanted you to be happy, and that they just _personally believed_ that monsters shouldn’t be allowed to live above ground with us. Which only pissed you off more - hadn’t you made good arguments?! You didn’t show it, instead just stiffly nodding and clenching your teeth in a semi-smile.

You happened to notice that your mother didn’t apologize for what she said. In fact, they even stated again that you are not to hang out with monsters anymore.

You wanted to shout at them - and you would’ve, too. But, instead, you just let it happen. You let them tell you these things - you nodding and saying minimal words in response.

A few times you hesitated, second guessing your decision to leave. But, time and time again, they would say something to piss you off, and it even further made you believe you should just leave. You used to think about it all the time as a teenager, right? Well, now you’re an adult - back then you worried about money, but now you don’t really have to. (You had over a few thousand dollars saved up from throughout the years working for your parents. Editing was a big job, so it paid a lot).

By the end of the night (you had all ended up watching TV together), you went up to your room (taking the dogs with you) and locked the door.

You had… not made your decision. You were pretty sure you wanted to leave, but… you didn’t know anymore. There were too many pros and cons… you thought you were dead set on leaving, and even after being pissed off by your parents… looking at your dogs now, you just didn’t think you could do it.

Earlier, Sage had helped you come up with a plan and told you what you needed to pack and what you had to do if you were going to be spending a little while on the streets. You had thanked him, and even saved the conversation in screenshots and made a folder for them.

Except… now, you just weren’t sure.

You decided to sleep on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS:  
> xxx-xxx-xxxx 4:02PM  
> so today i got in trouble at school and was sent to the principles office but i didnt wanna have detention today because i wanted to see alphys - girl i told you about - and i know it was foolish of me but i left the school and ran (yeah, ran) my way to the library and hid behind it until around 3pm. then, since i had been sitting out there for about an hour and i was cold and stiff and all, i wanted to go inside so i figured ‘fuck it’ and went in and began talking to alphys.  
> not two minutes later and my mother walked in, storming up to me and saying that i had worried her or whatever the fcuk.  
> then she noticd alphys and fuvkgn  
> she went all,,, stiff and she ws clearly pissd off and UGH she made me come home and stuff  
> she even fuckin tightly gripped my arm and pulled me out of the library like??? wtf  
> and so we ride home and it’s super silent in the car and i felt like dying (i woulda texted you but my phone was almost dead)  
> and so then we finally get home and we get in a fight and i try to explain to them that monsters are people and they need to stop being dicks (not in so many words, but you know) and they just kept denying it with half-assed answers.  
> honestly, they probably knew i was right but refused to admit it . ugh i hate them  
> and then , in my anger, i accidentally friggin  
> brought up LGBT stuff and ugh  
> then i left and went upstairs and cried and held my dogs and now im texting you and yeah  
> oh and mom said i may as well leave if i continue to be friends with, as she said, “those things”
> 
> -
> 
> that was the 'summed up text' neb sent to sage. my gf told me it was too long and to take it out so i did and am now giving it to you guys as a bonus lil thing xD 
> 
> anyways. this chapter DID make me almost start crying while writing it, but at the same time idk how much i like it??
> 
> pLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK. I CHECK MY INBOX EVERY DAY AND IT MAKES ME SUPER HAPPY AND MOTIVATED TO WRITE MORE WHEN I GET COMMENTS FROM YOU GUYS SO PLS LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK I LOVE YOU GUYS AHHH
> 
> ALSO IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS OR SUGGESTIONS JUST LEMME KNOW <3 
> 
> YOU COULD ALSO MESSAGE ME AT MY [TUMBLR](https://sansytheskeleton-ao3.tumblr.com/)


	6. Decisons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a decision to make - what will you decide? 
> 
> (Lots of inner-monologue. Also, *WARNING FOR REFERENCES TO SELF-HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, NIGHTMARES/FLASHBACKS, ANXIETY...ETC... BASICALLY JUST A LOT OF ANGST SO PREPARE YOURSELVES*)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i began sobbing while writing this.

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

You groaned, curling your legs up and tucking your head on your chest (basically the fetal position but half-assed because you just woke up), not wanting to get up. At all.

Scrunching up your face in annoyance (and semi-pain) as the beeping continued, you blindly groped the bed beneath you until you found your phone, pressed the home button, and swiped your thumb across the screen.

Your face finally relaxed when the noise was gone.

Five minutes later and you were woken again by incessant beeping.

“GODDAMNIT,” You groaned loudly (it was muffled by the blanket you were under and the hair in your face), inching upwards on your bed (kind of like a worm) as you haphazardly pushed your hair out of your face, and then reaching for your phone to turn off your alarm again. You unlocked your phone and went into the clock app, turning off the rest of the alarms you had set.

You inched back down in your bed, intending on pulling your blankets over your head when your foot kicked something - oh, that’s right; your dogs were in here with you.

You smiled, despite being half-dead (both emotionally and physically), and sat up, petting your dogs. “Morning, pups,” You muttered, watching as their eyes fluttered open and closed as they slept.

Yawning, you laid back down and carefully maneuvered your way under the blankets. Grabbing your phone, you sent a text to your mom.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 7:38AM  
im not going into school today. too drained

Figuring that was good enough, you clicked send and put your phone back down.

Re-situating yourself, you closed your eyes and quickly dozed back into a deep sleep.

* * *

 

_You were with your family at your old apartment, casually talking and having an okay day. You brought up meeting one of your online friends - which, of course, your mom was already okay with and said she’d drive you to the airport to meet her._

_Your mom and sister were sitting on the couch when you brought it up - your mother had asked how long they had planned on staying. (Your friend and her mother)._

_You weren’t entirely sure, but from what your friend had said you assumed they’d be in your area for a day, taking two days for traveling. The reason was because her little sister hated traveling, and she had band camp for three days, and so your friend’s mom figured it’d be a good time to go._

_When you told your mom that, she got kind of suspicious - it didn’t help that your sister kept saying how ‘weird’ that was, and that you shouldn’t trust people from the internet. It also was bad because your friend was about four years older than you - you were 13 at the time._

_Your mom demanded information about this girl, and you tried your best to reassure them that you knew her and she was your best friend and not lying to you._

_Except, of course, your family wouldn’t listen - once they had an idea in their head, it was very hard to change their mind. So, your mom googled your friend and found some… college thing, with her name on it._

_She got all mad about it, saying that your friend was clearly lying to you about her age - you tried to tell them no, she’s 17, but she was born in August so she’s always the youngest of her class. She probably had that college thing already set up because it was the summer before she started college._

_Again, they wouldn’t listen. There was lots of shouting - you trying to defend your friend, and your family getting mad at you and accusing you and your friends of things - including you being in love with her._

_You were shouting and crying in frustration - they wouldn’t listen to you! You tried to explain she was your best friend - that’s it, and that she wasn’t lying! She’s helped you through so much! She’s great, and not lying!_

_Your mom wouldn’t listen - she was dead set on believing you were in love with her, or that she was preying on you. “College girls like to experiment,” she had said._

_Your mother stormed into your room, intending on going through your things - you grabbed her arm and pulled her away from your bed, trying helplessly to get her to stop her rampage and to_ listen _to you, but then she shouted and said you had ‘attacked’ her._

_She took your computer and iPad, but you had locked yourself in the bathroom with your phone._

_Your mom was shouting something about a piece of paper with a date on it and hearts surrounding it - you said it was a joke, the date was the day you two started talking. But, this further made your mom believe you were in love with a 17 year old - but no, it was just a joke! Friends do that! Your mom wouldn’t listen to you._

_Crying, locked in the bathroom and occasionally shouting things - your voice cracking - you texted your friend, telling her what was happening and how much you hated your parents. You cursed, and then you went and deleted as many photos off your phone as you could - you didn’t want your parents seeing all the LGBT stuff you had on your phone, because no doubt they were going to go through it._

_Your phone, however, was nearly dead. You only got some stuff deleted, and you continued to text your friend. You were so upset - you wished that this was all a nightmare._

_It was quiet, and finally your dad managed to coax you out of the bathroom with kind words. You followed him into the kitchen/dining/living room area, sitting in a chair next to him at the table. (Your brother-in-law - at the time ‘sister’s fiancé’ was sleeping on the couch)._

_Your dad told you that they had found a note in your room. You began to panic - more so than you had been - and you asked what he was talking about._

_He mentioned a name, and your blood ran cold._ That _note?_

_You followed your dad into his room (where your mother was) and you were still wishing that you were asleep._

_They wanted your phone, and you said it was almost dead - your dad took it and placed it on his charger._

_Your mom claimed she was more mad about the note than she was about the friend - which you could understand, there was a LOT of cursing on it…_

_You were angry, though - that note was in a CLOSED binder on your floor in your room - they had gone through it to find it! And then they READ it!_

_Except, at the time, you couldn’t be angry - you were too busy trying to hold back tears, and feeling like you were about to puke from anxiety._

_Your mother shouted and cursed at you, claiming you were ‘too young’ to know if you liked girls - when you had finally said “okay… I’m… I’m bi”. The note was to a girl who used you, and, yet, your mother still told you that you were too young to know if you liked girls._

_You felt like you had been punched in the face - all those times you asked your mom if she would be okay if you or your siblings were gay and she said “yes, I’ll always love you guys no matter what,” was clearly a lie._

_Everything was moving so fast, though, you didn’t get a chance to retort - instead, your parents ended up going through your phone and iPad, and then declared you could no longer speak to your friend._

_You tried your hardest to argue, you BEGGED them to not do this - but they claimed they were doing this for your ‘own good’._

_You gave up your passwords, intending on not hiding anything so they could see that your friend was alright - but no, they still said you couldn’t talk to her. You felt your heart breaking every second that passed._

_Not able to sleep in your own bed that night, you ended up sleeping on the floor at the foot of your parents bed - whether it be because you didn’t want to be alone, or because you didn’t want to leave your electronics in there, you weren’t sure._

_The next day they pretended everything was okay - as if they didn’t find out you were gay, and as if they didn’t hurt you in so many ways._

_The scene changed, and you were with your sister and her fiancé on the couch, watching a show._

_The reason escaped your memory, but you paused it and ended up talking._

_This was around a month after what happened - and many nights of sobbing in your room - and you were still_ very _upset._

_You guys ended up getting in a fight, and you accidentally said you had hated her._

_You guys went into your parents room (away from her fiancé - it was just the three of you that night) and continued to talk._

_You expressed that you were still upset over what happened a month prior, that you were mad at her for encouraging mom to be suspicious of your friend._

_Your sister said you were overreacting - that you shouldn’t still be upset over this._

_You continued to fight, and later your sister told your parents about it - which only caused more problems._

_Now, you were in the living room with your brother - it was night, and he was watching you because your parents were out._

_You began to tell him what happened - seeing as he wasn’t in the house when the whole ordeal went down. You told him everything, even telling him that mom accused you of being in love with your friend._

_He laughed, and said he had a similar experience - when he was a little older than you, he still hadn’t any interest in girls. Or, your parents thought that. Your brother told you that because he wasn’t outright with his feelings towards women, that they accused him of being gay with his best friend, and they then searched through his room as well._

_Except, what your brother didn’t know, was that you actually liked girls - and, he ended up texting your parents an, as he thought, innocent text message._

_It had said “What’s with you guys accusing your children of being gay?”._

_When your parents got home, they were furious. You all sat down in the living room, you anxious as hell. Your mom was mad at you for bringing it up again, claiming that you should be over it by now._

_She told your brother that you had ‘lied’ to him, and didn’t tell him the full story. She told him that you said you were bi._

_You started to tear up, and you wished, yet again, that the world would swallow you. Your brother told you it was okay, but you were still upset. How could your mom just… out you like that? Especially after pretending it never even happened?_

_You wanted to run away. You wanted to hide. You wanted to kill yourself._

_You just wanted to be accepted._

 

You gasped, eyes opening as you quickly sat up in bed, putting a hand over your racing heart. You were sweating, but you were freezing. Taking in deep breaths, you forced yourself to calm down.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” You breathed, shakily grabbing your phone and checking the time: 12:04PM. “Jesus christ,” you muttered.

You looked up and noticed your dogs were gone - your bedroom door was also open. Your parents must have let them out.

Heart still pounding, you looked at your phone again - yup, you had a text message.

momther 10:13AM  
Ok. Make sure to walk dogs. Love u

You sighed, closing your eyes as you willed yourself to calm down.

You hadn’t thought about that… in ages. Your stomach was still churning, and you could remember the feeling, fresh as ever, from all those years ago. You felt sick.

Even after all these years… it’s still like it never happened. Your parents, despite having found out, still pretend they don’t know. You’re still ‘in the closet’ even though your entire family knows about the fight. You had later come out to your brother and brother-in-law - both of which who had been totally accepting. Well, your brother didn’t understand the ‘not girl’ thing, but your brother-in-law was much more cool with it.

You laid back down.

Why had you dreamt of that? And so vividly, as well? It had been _years_ since that happened - how did you remember it almost perfectly? You knew a few of those things were out of order in your dream, but it was still all the same.

You feeling like shit, and your parents not accepting you for who you like.

Oh.

Oh…

You face-palmed; it was so obvious - you dreamt about that because of the fight yesterday. The fights were so similar, and yet so different. Jesus.

Not wanting to drift back into nightmares, you sat up and grabbed your phone off the charger. Climbing off your bed, you went around your beanbag chair…

You know what? Fuck it.

You put your phone in your sweatpants pocket (you were still wearing what you had on yesterday), and grabbed your beanbag chair by the handle on top.

Turning and kicking open your door more, you began to pull the beanbag chair out of your room.

Once in the hallway, you set it down and closed your door.

You then grabbed it again, and brought it down the stairs - almost tripping a few times.

You placed it in the living room, right next to the porch chair, and then went into the kitchen.

Opening the freezer you pulled out a chicken sandwich, went over to the cabinet and grabbed a paper plate, and put the food in the microwave for 90 seconds.

Turning around, you laughed as you heard the rapid footsteps of your dogs running down the stairs - and, sure enough, they came running towards you, jumping excitedly.

“Yeah, haha, hey guys,” You laughed, kneeling down so you could pet them. “I know! I was asleep forever, I’m sorry. Did ya miss me?” You smiled, feeling much better than you had been when you woke up. They tried to lick your face, and you backed away, laughing a bit. “Hey!” you laughed as they continued to jump on you, “Oh my god, guys, I was asleep for a little while! Calm yourselves,” You tried to be serious, but you ended up laughing and continuing to pet them. They knew just how to make you feel better.

They then left your side, instead running around the house - well, Josh went and began squeaking one of his toys, and Tiff began sniffing the floor in the kitchen. Yup, back to normal.

You smiled, watching them as a wave of nostalgia hit you - you loved your dogs. They always made you feel better - and, throughout the years, whenever you were home alone with them, you would make up random songs and sing to them, telling them how much you loved them. You felt a pang of sadness in your chest, your smile fading - did you really want to leave them? They were getting old, so it’s not like they had too many years left but… every second counted.

You sighed, standing up and brushing off your clothes, and then opening the microwave - which had been beeping for a bit now - and pulled out your plate.

Taking off the wrapper - carefully, as it was extremely hot - you placed the chicken sandwich on the plate and threw the wrapper on the counter. (The trash can was in the garage so the dogs wouldn’t get into it, and you were too lazy to go throw it away right now).

Walking over to the living room (which was basically the kitchen - the entire downstairs floor was completely open), you grabbed the remotes (PS4 remote and TV remote), you sat down in your beanbag chair and clicked on the TV.

Using the PS4 remote, you turned on the PS4 and opened up Hulu, putting on Frasier as you ate.

You didn’t fully pay attention to your show, though - you were too busy thinking about the nightmare you had, and the previous day, and what Sage had said…

The big question was: should you or should you not run away?

You just… couldn’t decide. It’s not like it was even running away - you’d be moving out hopefully soon, seeing as you were an adult. You’d probably move out in like… a year… or two…? That is, if you stayed.

You didn’t want to spend another two-ish years fighting with your parents, being mis-gendered and misnamed because your parents refused to accept you, and having to hide your sexuality. You didn’t want to be limited to human friends, either. Not that your parents could _really_ stop you - but… as crazy as it sounded, you didn’t _like_ doing ‘bad’ things. Even if it’s not bad, you didn’t like to get in trouble for such things. Plus, you didn’t want to have to explain to your monster friends that they couldn’t come over because you had monsterphobic parents and that they actually couldn’t know about their existence.

Yeah, that wouldn’t go over very well.

Again, though, you didn’t want to leave - you had your pets, you had food, TV, video games, a home. You had all your belongings here - which would soon be at the new house. Did you really want to leave that behind, just to have some friends and to not deal with being in the closet? You’ve been mostly in the closet since you were 12 years old.

Yet… you kind of liked Alphys. You knew for a fact your parents would rather you date a human girl than a _monster_ girl.

“UGH,” you groaned loudly, taking an angry bite out of your chicken sandwich. Your dogs looked at you in concern. “Sorry, pups,” You said, swallowing the bite of food, “I’m just frustrated. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make decisions?” Tiff tilted her head at you, and Josh just put his head back down. You laughed. “Yeah, I thought so,” You shook your head, finishing off your sandwich and TV show.

Turning off the PS4 and TV, you tried (and failed) multiple times to get out of your beanbag chair. Finally, after struggling, you made it out of the beanbag chair. “Jesus christ, that thing is hell,” you muttered to yourself, standing up. You placed your plate on the counter (again, you didn’t feel like going to the garage… even though it was literally only a few steps away. Oh well. Procrastination, man).

You looked at the clock above the stove: 12:32.

You turned and climbed back up the stairs (dogs following close behind), and went back into your room. Ah, yes - you could finally walk around in here with the beanbag downstairs.

Once the dogs ran and jumped on your bed, you closed your door and made your way over to the bed as well, sitting down and pulling your phone out of your pocket.

That’s when it hit you - you hadn’t contacted Alphys ever since what happened yesterday! Oh god, she must’ve been worried sick! You could tell she had some sort of anxiety, and that’s probably why she hasn’t texted you… oh god, you felt so bad.

You went to text her, but then hesitated, thumb hovering above the letters. Did you really want to text her? What would you say? How would you explain to her what happened? You contemplated not texting her, but figured that would be mean. She was probably worried, and you knew if situations were reversed, you’d be nervously waiting for a text message.

Sighing, you began typing.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:37PM  
hey, alphys… sorry about yesterday. uh, just letting you know im okay. i probably wont be able to meet you at the library, later, though…

You hesitated - was that good enough to send? You gulped, and figured ‘fuck it’, pressing send. You shut your phone, putting it down and trying not to puke from nerves.

No more than a minute later, your phone buzzed.

queen alphs 12:38PM  
OH MY GOD i’m so glad you’re okay! may i ask what happened…? It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, but.. yeah. I’m just glad you’re alright! And i’m sorry to hear you won’t be making it to the library :-(

Your heart rate sped up - god, you felt so bad. You didn’t really want to tell her, and now you felt bad that you couldn’t meet her later - seeing as your parents would probably check there first if you weren’t home.

You decided to bend the truth.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:40PM  
it’s okay.. uh, it was just… family drama, yaknow? im sorry you had to be there to see that. my mom was just… mad about something or whatever. it’s all good though. idk when i can next come to the library though

Was that good enough? Did it give enough info to satisfy someone, yet vague enough…? You weren’t sure, but you decided to send it anyway.

queen alphs 12:41PM  
Oh, okay! That sucks. Do you know when you can next come to the library?

You paused, staring at the text message; would you ever be able to go back to the library? Of course you would, but… any time soon? Would you ever be able to go to the library without getting in a screaming match with your parents? Would you ever be able to see Alphys again?

Your heart stopped (or, it felt like it), as you quickly typed out a response.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:41PM  
umm, idk. i’ll let you know,, for now i gtg so i’ll text you later

You turned off your phone and put it down, and decided that you had to think this through.

 _It’s now or never_ , you told yourself.

Images from your nightmare flashed through your mind, and old feelings of wanting to be accepted and wanting to run away or just die came back, and this time you focused on them.

In the past, your parents had been so horrible about LGBT stuff, and even HUMAN friends! If you were never allowed to speak to your _human_ friend again back then, would you ever be allowed to have monster friends now? Sure, you were an adult, so your parents couldn’t _really_ stop you, but they could still yell at you and you still were going to live with them for a year or two at least.

You remembered all those times you contemplated packing a bag, writing a ‘fuck you’ letter, and leaving. All those times you spent alone, crying in your bedroom because you just wanted to be _accepted_. Those times you thought, ‘hey, maybe in the future they’ll accept me’, and now here you were, still unaccepted. The times you cut yourself for multiple reasons, the times you saw a sharp knife on the counter and contemplated shoving it into your chest; or slitting your throat, or wrists. Wherever, really; it didn’t matter.

You thought about all the times you fought with your parents over LGBT matters, and all the times you fought over online friends. (Granted, those were less… but still). Sure, they ended up coming around and letting you meet Sage - going so far as to take him to Jamaica with you guys! - but the fights still happened. They were the same now, just with monsters.

And then you remembered your crush on Alphys - which, in their eyes, was probably the WORST thing that could ever happen. You, a _human_ ‘girl’, and a _monster_ girl… dating? Blasphemy. It’d be even worse if they knew you were agender, AND asexual. Man, in their eyes, you were probably one of the _worst_ beings in the world, weren’t you?

What if there was a possible thing between you and Alphys? Monsters have been on the surface for awhile now, and they had quite a bit of rights, and there were enough monster/human relationships that it was well-known. What could you be giving up, by living in fear of your parents?

What kind of life could you have if you were on your own?

And yes, you had all the things you loved here - but none of it was really _that_ important. Well, you would miss your dogs a fuck-ton… you would probably cry a LOT… but… there _really_ wasn’t that much else holding you back, was there? You had money, it’s not like you would starve or anything. You would just… run a little ways away, and then start trying to… live somewhere… or something?

You groaned, leaning back against your wall, putting your head in your hands. Were you really going to run away? After years of fantasizing about it?

…you began to put your plan into action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER  
> yET aGaiN
> 
> so. NEB HAS MADE THEIR DECISION!
> 
> ... this took a few days to get out because i had no idea how to make them come to their decision and make it..,, realistic. so sorry about the delay! 
> 
> uh, i reALLY hope this is realistic enough. im sorry if it's not... i tried my hardest! i had a bit of writers block while trying to get this down, and... finally i decided on this. 
> 
> i really really hope you guys enjoyed... this chapter was really hard to write, so sorry if it's... choppy? or rushed? idk. 
> 
> just lemme know your opinions, and yeah! 'cAUSE COMMENTS MOTIVATE ME TO KEEP WRITING AND TO FIX THINGS AND MAKE THINGS BETTER SO PLS ;-;
> 
> okay well,,, i lOVE YOU GUYS! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED. IT IS 3AM (it will prolly be 4am by the time i actually get this uploaded. UPDATE: it is now 4:17am and i am dying) sO BYE
> 
> OH, AND CHECK OUT MY [TUMBLR](https://sansytheskeleton-ao3.tumblr.com/) \- YOU CAN SEND ME A MESSAGE OR ANYTHING IDRC I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU AND IM ALWAYS WILLING TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS SO YEAH.


	7. Goodbyes Are Painful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend your last few days doing as much as you can.
> 
> WARNING: depressing shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oH MY LORDY OK HERE IT IS FINALLY IM SORRY AH

A few hours had passed since you made your decision, and since then you… backed out multiple times. But, each time, you managed to convince yourself to leave again.

You told Sage that you were really going to do it, and he wished you luck and told you to text him as much as you possibly could, so he knew you were okay.

You had emptied your school backpack, and started filling it with things you would need; a few t-shirts, long sleeved shirts, a hoodie and a few pairs of pants (as well as underwear, shorts and multiple pairs of socks - some of which were fluffy). You also stuffed in a pair of gloves and a scarf. You managed to shove in a small blanket as well (the backpack had two big pockets, and a few small ones; you managed to stuff all the clothes plus the blanket in one pocket by folding them all very neatly).

In the other pocket you threw in a couple snacks (goldfish, cereal, etc… all in plastic bags), a box of bandaids, another small blanket (so you could fold it up and use it as a pillow), a few packets of tissues, a bottle of germ-x, an exacto knife, and one of your (small) favorite stuffed animals. (A plush dolphin, to be exact).

In one of the front pockets, you put one of Joshua’s old toys, a small flashlight, a few pens and pencils, and a miniature notebook. (Because you couldn’t give up drawing or writing, and besides, it’d probably be good to log your journey, right?).

In the very front pocket you put two pictures of your dogs that you had printed out and ‘laminated’. (And by laminated, I mean you put them each in a plastic bag, folded the top down, and duct taped it). You also threw in a wallet (which was currently empty).

Currently, you were laying at the bottom of your bed, holding both of your dogs and trying not to cry. You pet them and sang to them, telling them how much you loved them.

You sighed, resting your head on your bed as you looked at them. “I love you guys so much, do you know that?” You asked, pausing as if you expected an answer. Tiffany didn’t move, and Joshua just lifted his leg slightly (which meant he wanted you to pet him). You laughed weakly. “Yeah, yeah. Fine,” you began scratching his thigh. “Loser,” you shook your head.

“Man, I love you both so much,” You said, glancing between the both of them. “I really wish I didn’t have to leave. Just know that I’ll always love you guys, alright? And you’ve got me until Monday morning. That’s when I’m leaving,” You decided you’d leave Monday morning and call in sick to school so you would have all day to get far away from home. You sighed, closing your eyes. Your voice cracked as you spoke, “I’m s-sorry,” you hung your head.

“I r-really…” You took a deep breath, “I really d-don’t wanna l-leave… I w-wish I c-could s-s-stay…” You fought back tears, throat clenching up as you continued to speak, “I-I l-l-love y-y-you b-b-both s-s-so… m-mu-ch,” You stuttered, unable to stop the tears and your lip from wobbling. You curled up into the fetal position, still holding on to your dogs. “I-I j-just… I-I c-c-can’t s-s-stay… y-yaknow? M-mom and Dad… t-they ju-st… t-they’re so f-fucking s-s-stubborn…” You sniffled. “Once t-they have t-their m-m-minds s-s-set on some-something, it’s h-hard to-to change their m-mi-minds…” Even though your eyes were already closed, you squeezed them shut tighter.

“Y-you’re… you’re the b-bes-t do-gs I c-coulda ever a-asked f-for… I-I l-lo-love y-you-you s-so-so m-mu-much…” You sobbed. Squeezing your dogs in a tight hug, you continued to cry and shake.

The true, only reason that could _really_ make you stay, was your dogs. You would miss them… so, so much. You didn’t want to leave. Well, you did. You wanted to leave - you just didn’t want to leave your dogs behind. You loved them so much, and if you hadn’t already packed everything and told Sage you were really gonna leave, they would’ve convinced you to stay right now.

You didn’t even know where you were going to go, though - you had practically no friends, and it’s not like you could immediately find an apartment somewhere… you’d probably have to spend a little while on the streets until you could find a new job. The thought terrified you - you’ve had a pretty decent life, and you’ve always had a home. You’ve always had somewhere warm to sleep (except at summer camp… fuck summer camp). You’ve _never_ **had** to sleep outside before. You’ve never had to be alone.

And now you were going to be.

As a teenager, you always fantasized about running away - about finally being free. Sure, the thought of being alone and sleeping outside scared you then, but… now that it was actually going to be a reality in a couple days… you were terrified. But, at the same time you were almost… excited? You were pretty conflicted.

However, you were also determined to go through with this. All your life, you rarely went through with things; you rarely finished things, you rarely would have a plan that you actually did. You just… you were unfinished. You left things unfinished, or you never even started them. So this time… you didn’t want to chicken out. As scary as it is going to be, you wanted to be free. You wanted to do this. No matter what it took.

Sighing, you relaxed your grip on your dogs and opened your eyes. You were no longer crying, but you will still shaking a bit. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, wiping away any excess tears on your face.

Pulling your phone out of your sweatpants’ pockets (you really needed to change), you checked the time: 4:13PM.

You sighed, shoving your phone back in your pocket as you got up off your bed. You glanced at your dogs and smiled weakly while they perked up and began to get ready to follow you out of the room.

“Oh god, not again,” You said as you felt tears form in your eyes. “Fuck off, tears!” You quickly tried to wipe them away, taking a deep, shaky breath. “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay…” You muttered to yourself, eyes closed as you focused on breathing.

“Hoo,” You sighed, opening your eyes and shaking your arms and legs a bit, as if you could ‘shake off’ your feelings. “Okay, come on pups,” You laughed as Josh immediately jumped off the bed, going towards the door. Tiff took a little bit longer.

You opened the door and let Josh run out, and you turned and waited for Tiff to follow along. Glancing around the room to see if you wanted to grab something (nothing caught your eye), you turned and followed the dogs down the stairs (after you closed your door, of course).

You were going to make food, but then Tiffany started barking at you.

“Alright, alright! I’ll take you out, sheesh,” You laughed, turning and grabbing Tiff’s leash as she continued to bark. “Shush your face,” You bent down and hooked the leash to her collar. Josh was excitedly running around near you. “I’ll take you next,” You told him.

Going out the back door (you didn’t bother putting on shoes), you stepped onto your shared porch (stupid apartment complex), and let Tiff do her business.

You groaned internally when she pooped and quickly looked around to see if anyone was around - not seeing anyone, you quickly turned and brought Tiff back inside - your parents could deal with that.

Inside, you put Tiff’s leash on the counter and swapped it for Josh’s (sure, you could’ve just used Tiff’s, but… their leashes had to match their collars, damnit! Tiffany’s leash and collar were red, and Josh’s were blue. Your family liked to purposely put the wrong leashes on them to make you mad - it worked) and hooked it to his collar (after many tries - he would never calm down when you tried to get the leash on him, and would instead excitedly jump around until you took him outside. Which, just made him have to wait longer because you couldn’t get the damn leash on him).

Taking Josh outside, you let him do his thing - he pooped as well (your family can deal with that as well) and you had to wait for him to finish kicking the grass (he liked to think he was a bull, when in fact he was a ten pound poodle) before he came back inside.

Unhooking his leash, you turned and locked the back door, and then walked over and placed the leash on the counter. You then went over to one of the cabinets in the kitchen and pulled out - ah, yes, ramen. The easiest meal to make - also, you had practically nothing else because your parents refused to food shop before you moved.

Grabbing two packets, you broke it up and put it into a bowl, went over to your water cooler and filled it up with hot water, and then put it in the microwave for three and a half minutes.

You grabbed a fork out of a drawer and placed it on one of the empty ramen packets, and then opened both flavor packets and placed it against the fork. You then grabbed ice out of the freezer and put it on the other empty packet.

You stopped, looking at what you had done - it was so… familiar. This was normal - this was your life. You had these things down to perfection, this is what you did for years - you wouldn’t be able to do this anymore once you leave.

You felt your face start to heat up again.

“Fucking hell, why am I so emotional? It’s ramen, for god’s sake!” You scolded yourself, shaking your head in disbelief - did you really just get nostalgic over ramen? You placed your head in your hands and sighed.

After a moment, you turned and went into the living room and turned on the TV, putting on Hulu. Starting up Frasier, you let the ad play before pausing it.

You glanced at the microwave and it still had around two minutes.

Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you opened up the ‘Phone’ app and clicked on your mom’s contact.

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ring_

“Come on, pick up,” You muttered impatiently, glancing at the microwave again.

Just when you thought she wasn’t going to answer, she picked up.

“____?” You couldn’t even cringe - you just sighed.

“Yeah, hey Mom.”

“What’s up?” You could hear chatter in the background - you could barely make out your dad’s voice.

“Uh,” You looked at your dogs, who were laying in their dog bed together, “I was just wondering when you were getting home,” You asked, feeling nostalgic again - you’ve done this so _many_ times.

“Er,” You could tell she was distracted, “I - I don’t know, uh, I can’t talk right now!” Like always, “Probably a few hours or something. Dad has meetings. Look, I-“ You heard a loud noise in the background, “Ugh - I-I gotta go!” She said irritably.

“O-okay…? Bye, I guess. I’ll see you later,” You stuttered out.

“Bye,” She hung up. You sighed.

Shoving your phone back in your pocket, you turned at the sound of the microwave beeping.

You pulled the bowl out of the microwave and placed it on the counter, going through the process that you’ve done a thousand times before.

You felt like you could almost miss this - all the little things that you always did, everything that happened on a nearly daily basis. But, then again, it’d be good to have a change… right?

Change scared you. You hated change. Oh god, you couldn’t even stand the thought of moving from this place, how are you going to run away? (You brought the soup over to your beanbag chair, sitting down and placing it on the floor next to you. You grabbed a pillow and placed it on your lap, grabbing the soup and putting it on there - that way you didn’t burn yourself. You turned on your show). If you didn’t even want to move from where you currently lived, why did you even think you could handle leaving and living on the streets?

You half-paid attention to your show, instead second-guessing yourself about your decision to leave. Was it really worth it? Did you really want to leave? You had already packed your stuff, and you had already told Sage you were going to do it, but… should you? Should you really go through with it?

Was this really the best decision?

Whether your face was starting to heat up because tears or the soup, you couldn’t tell.

You remembered all the reasons that you should stay - all the things you have here, all the things you love. But then you remembered all the bad that came with it…

Which weighed the other out?

Sure, you’ve had many bad experiences, and you still have to deal with being in the closet and not even being able to freely have monster friends… but you’ve also had a lot of good experiences as well. Your family really wasn’t that bad - sure, they had their moments, but they did care about you.

All those times the entire family got together and played a board game together, laughing so hard that everyone was in near tears. The times you’d go to the movies, and then talk about it the entire car ride home, and even once you got home.

Harmlessly teasing one another; playing with the dogs. All of you just chilling together in the living room, either watching TV or chatting. When all of you were pretty much convinced that either the parallel universes were getting mixed up, or that the government was messing with everyone and trying to brainwash people. Or even that fucking Satan was bending and stopping time, changing little things to make us all think we were losing our minds - and so he could delay having to face God, or whatever. (Your mom was the one who believed that - your parents are Christians).

Actually having a good time with other family (cousins, etc). Going to amusement parks; watching your older brother in a play. Being supportive of each other (sometimes).

But then there were the bad times.

Yelling - whether it be at each other or about work (or both). Constant fighting, especially with your sister. Unnecessary drama. Most of your family being homophobic, transphobic, and monsterphobic - and, you not being any of those, getting in fights with them over it - which always ended up in frustrated crying.

The times your parents invaded your privacy - multiple times! When they would tease you thinking it was harmless, when it actually upset you. (“Oh my god, she’s actually out of her cave!” “You actually took a shower?” “Wait, you actually did school work? Holy crap!” etc).

All the times you cut because you wanted to be accepted. The times you contemplated suicide because of it. All those years you were depressed…

Countless nights of crying, alone, in your room…

You felt sick.

Closing your eyes and groaning, you pushed your soup away for a moment so you could recollect yourself (tears were about to fall down your face, yet again).

Yeah… maybe it was best you leave.

At least on your own you wouldn’t have to deal with that stuff. Sure, it’d be hard, but… you’d figure it out. And, if you had to talk to people, you could like… lower your voice, or something, so they can at least assume you’re a guy. And, if not that - they could at least use your actual name. You’d be able to do what you want without ridicule, and you knew there’d be nights of crying, but… if it meant one day you’d be happy, on your own, it was worth it.

Focusing on those thoughts before you changed your mind, yet again, you continued to eat and watch your show.

 _No more thinking about that stuff_ , you told yourself firmly as you ate.  
  


* * *

  
“We’re home!” You looked up from your laptop when you heard your mom from downstairs. The dogs quickly jumped off of your bed and ran out the door, running (loudly) down the stairs.

“Hey,” You shouted back, dimming your laptop screen and pushing it on your bed. Pulling off your blanket, you got off the bed, shut your door behind you, and went downstairs to greet your parents.

“How was your day?” You asked your mom as you went to grab a cup of water, trailing your mom around the kitchen. (Your dad was taking the dogs outside).

“It was okay. Same old, same old. How about you? Are you feeling better?” She asked, turning to give you a semi-concerned look.

You glanced away, taking a sip of your water. “Uh, yeah. I got some sleep, so…” You shrugged, turning to fill your cup up again.

“That’s good,” She said as she continued to make… whatever it was she was making. “Oh, your sister’s coming over tonight. Dad and I are going out, and Paul has a gig, so she’s gonna come hang out with you for a bit,” Your mom told you as she went into the living room, sitting in one of the chairs as she turned on the TV.

You groaned. “Ughh, that never works out very well. Not when we were younger, and not now. Can’t she just stay home? I’m a grown up, I don’t need her here,” You put your cup on the table. “Hey Dad,” You greeted as he came in, unhooking Josh’s leash and putting it on the table.

“Hey kiddo,” He said as he made his way into the kitchen, opening the fridge.

“She’s your sister, don’t be so mean. And she’s coming over because she doesn’t wanna be alone, so be nice, okay?” She said, turning on Hulu.

“Ugh, whatever,” You walked over to the stairs, turning to look at your parents. “When are you guys leaving, and when is she getting here?” You asked.

“Around 9, and she’ll be here probably around that time,” Your mother told you as an ad started to play.

“So…” You checked your phone, “about two hours. Ugh. Okay. Are you guys staying over night?”

“Yeah.”

“Ughh, okay. Well, have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow…?”

“Yup,” chimed your dad as he sat down in a chair by your mom.

“Ookay. Well.” You turned, going up the stairs as their show started. “Bye!” You ran up the stairs, going to your bedroom and closing the door. You sighed.

Going over to your bed, you closed your laptop and placed it on the floor. You then grabbed your TV remote and turned it on, as well as the Gamecube, and then shut your light.

Sitting down on the floor and leaning against your bed, you grabbed the controller and started up your world in Super Mario Sunshine.

May as well kill the time playing video games, right?  
__

* * *

  
“We’re leaving, bye ____!” You heard your mom shout from downstairs.

Pausing your game, you shouted back. “Bye! Have fun!”

You heard the door close.

Sighing, you continued playing your game. Your sister would be here soon, and she would probably want you to hang out with her, so you may as well get as much time as you can to play your game.

Fifteen minutes later and you heard the doorbell ring. Like, twenty times in a row.

Groaning, you paused your game and stood up, quickly rushing out of your room and down the stairs.

“I’m coming, stop ringing the bell, holy crap!” You shouted, making your way over to the door and unlocking it. Once you opened it, only then did your sister stop ringing the bell. “Jeez,” You muttered, shaking your head at your sister’s smug look.

"Hey punk,” She said as she made her way inside, closing and locking the door behind her.

“Hi, Sis,” you ignored her high pitch squealing as she greeted the dogs; especially Josh.

You tried to slip back upstairs unnoticed, but to no avail. (Man, you were just never able to escape, were you?).

“Hey!” Her voice went back to normal, “Where are you going?! Hang out with me!” She basically whined. You groaned.

“Ugh, but.. I was playing a game!” You complained, turning and throwing your head back in annoyance.

“Too bad! Hang out with me!” You rolled your eyes.

“Ugh, fine. What do you even want me to do? It’s not like we can even… _do_ anything,” You gestured around to the mostly empty living area.

“Talk to me! Be my sister for once, I came over to hang out!” You cringed.

Squinting at her in annoyance, you sighed. “Fine, whatever,” You walked over to your beanbag chair, plopping down into it. “So, how’ve you been?” Always go for small talk with her - never bring anything up that’s serious, lest you want to get in a fight.

“Besides stress from work, I’ve been good. And you, my wonderful sister?” You rolled your eyes as she took a seat near you.

“I’ve been fine.” You clipped.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

“Wanna watch a movie?”

“Yes,” You replied.

* * *

 

Later that night, you finally were able to hole yourself back up in your room. Luckily, there was no blow up with your sister - usually when she came, you both always managed to get into some sort of argument or full-blown fight

Deciding against playing your game, you quickly saved it before turning off the Gamecube and TV.

Climbing into bed (the light was off), you plugged your phone in and laid on your side, spending a few hours browsing Instagram, texting Sage and a few other friends, and reading fanfiction until you fell asleep.

* * *

 

You woke up to dogs running and jumping on your bed.

“Uffh,” You groaned, opening your eyes and taking a moment to adjust to your surroundings. There were two very excited dogs jumping on your bed, and your door was open. You could make out the noise of your parents talking.

Turning over, you grabbed your phone and checked the time: 12:37PM.

You groaned, wanting to roll over and go back to sleep. When Josh began squeaking his toy (where did that come from?) you knew you weren’t going to be able to go back to sleep. Groaning, you sat up and grabbed his toy, throwing it out into the hall. He quickly dashed off the bed, grabbed his toy and sprinted down the hall. You chuckled, shaking your head as you glanced at Tiff.

“He’s crazy, right?” It almost looked like she shrugged.

You stood up and put your phone in your pocket, going and standing by your door. “Come on,” You said in a semi-high-pitch voice, waiting for Tiff to stand, stretch, and then jump off the bed.

Closing the door as you followed behind Tiff, you made your way downstairs.

“Mornin,” You greeted your parents, who were making food.

“Hey, ____!” Your mom said and you winced.

“Heyo,” Your dad said as he made his way over to the small porch table, sitting in the chair next to it.

“How was your night out?” You asked, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a cup from the cabinet, and then walking back over to the water cooler and filling it; you took a sip as you waited for them to answer.

“It was good,” Said your mom, who went and sat in your beanbag chair, turning on the TV.

“That’s good…” You went over and sat in one of the other chairs. “Have fun?”

“Yup,” She opened up Hulu, putting on one of her shows.

“Good, good…” You glanced at the TV and back at your mom. Standing up, you began walking over to the counter so you could put your empty cup down. “Right, well, I’m goin’ back upstairs. You guys goin’ anywhere today?” You asked, walking over to the bottom of the stairs.

“Why, ya tryna get rid of us?” Your mom joked and you laughed nervously, rubbing the back of your neck.

“Yes, exactly,” You deadpanned. “No, I was just wondering,” You said nonchalantly.

“Hmm, well,” she took a bite of her food, “we are almost out of food. Vin, should we go food shopping or somethin’ today?” She tried to turn in the beanbag chair to glance at him, but failed and awkwardly tried to fix herself.

“Uhh,” He looked up from his phone and glanced at the both of you, “Prolly. I don’t really want to, but if we gotta, we can. Maybe in a couple hours?” Figuring that your mom would say yes, he immediately looked back at his phone.

“Yeah, sure. It’ll give us time to eat and shower and stuff. ____, you wanna come with?” Your mom asked you, not fully paying attention to her show.

“Um,” You shuffled your feet, glancing at the stairs. “Nah, I’m good,” You said.

Your mom hummed in response, and you began walking up the stairs. “Bye!” You shouted behind you.

“See ya,” Your mom laughed slightly.

Once in your room, you began thinking about what you should do. In a few hours, you’d have a little while to yourself - which meant you could start cleaning your room, and getting rid of all the things you don’t want your parents to go through.

Well. Actually.

You almost slapped yourself in the face - you could go through your things even when your parents are here! You’re supposed to be moving, so they would be happy that you’re cleaning. Wow. You’ve wasted time by forgetting that. Jeez.

Putting your phone on the charger on your bed, you began to get to work.

 

Thirty minutes later and you cleaned out all the drawers underneath your bed - which had all your journals, paper, pens and pencils, markers, crayons, etc. You didn’t really wanna have to get rid of everything, but you knew you couldn’t take this stuff with you. It’d weigh you down.

So, you ripped up as many loose papers as you could, and you figured you could like… burn your journals later, or something.

There really wasn’t anything in the drawers you wanted to keep - there were random, shitty drawings, loose papers with random writings on it, and the journals were full of depressing stuff. And, even if it wasn’t depressing, it would be now because all those ‘good’ memories were linked to bad people. So, you put as much trash as you could in plastic bags, and then put all the sharpies and blank papers and such in a box.

Well, there was one thing.

In one of the drawers, it held a box. This box was small, it had a lock on it, and it had a zebra pattern on it (and it was fuzzy). The key for it was in an empty pill bottle.

Inside the box held many notes and things from school - which you ripped up - and a small, purple journal (that you put in a box with the others so you can burn them later). There were a few other small, loose things, but…

The most ‘important’ thing you kept in there, were, well… pencil sharpeners.

You _knew_ you shouldn’t bring it with you. You _knew_ you should’ve just thrown them out, or threw them in the box with all the pencils and crap. You _knew_ it was a bad idea, but… you put one of them in your backpack.

As well as the small knife that you kept in the drawer, so you could get the blade out of the screw.

You really _knew_ you shouldn’t, but… what if you needed it? What if things got bad and you needed some kind of relief? It was better than other things… right? And, sure, Sage would be upset if he knew. But it’s not like you’re going to be able to talk to him very often now, right? He didn’t have to know.

Closing your eyes in shame, you leaned back against the side of your bed and put your head in your hands. You almost cried, but you couldn’t because you had already cried so much recently. Instead you just sat there, wallowing in the empty feeling in your chest. It felt like your stomach had plunged to the floor, and you were left with a hollowness that didn’t necessarily hurt painfully, but it hurt in a sort of… numb, way. You wanted to cry, but you had nothing in you _to_ cry.

Sighing, you forced yourself to get off the floor and get back to work.

* * *

A couple hours later and your parents had left for the store (who were happy that you were cleaning and ‘packing’), and you had a lot of your room cleaned out.

You cleaned out your two other dressers, getting rid of the clothes you didn’t like (you put them in give-away boxes), and throwing out the random crap that you found in there (you were so unorganized, honestly - you had things in so many places where they shouldn’t be).

You had also cleaned the cubbies from the… headboard? of your bed, throwing out candy wrappers, and putting a few memory things you had in boxes (even though you wouldn’t get to keep it, you figured your parents could have it).

Currently, you had a bunch of boxes on the floor in your room, which you had taken out of your closet - those boxes were there since the _last_ time you moved. (Which really wasn’t that long ago, but still).

You had organized a few, throwing out crap you didn’t need and attempting to reorganize other things that you would leave for your parents.

You were still going through them, but you were tired, sad, and honestly didn’t wanna keep doing this. Technically you had all of tomorrow to keep working on it, but… you wanted this to be over as soon as possible. Besides, tomorrow you should sleep as much as you can so you have energy on Monday - you’ll be doing a lot of walking. (You groaned at the thought).

Sighing, you forced yourself to keep throwing out trash, reorganizing boxes and leaving memories and whatever for your parents (mainly because you didn’t have it in you to throw them away).

You had a bunch of boxes strewn about in the hallway, because you didn’t wanna have to bother with taking them downstairs yet, and there was barely any room in your bedroom.

You continued to finish up boxes, throwing them into the hallway with the others, so you could pull more boxes out of your closet and go through them.

You were moving slowly, but you were making progress.

You ignored your stomach growling and continued to clean and ‘pack’.

__

* * *

  
A few hours later, parents home, and you had completely finished everything (almost).

Your parents helped you carry down all the boxes you had packed, telling you they were proud of you for getting so much work done. You just nodded, barely saying anything in response, and when they asked you just said you were exhausted and hungry.

Your mom made you food (seeing as they had gone food shopping), and you ate and watched a show with them, before going back up to your room and collapsing on your bed. You had taken your dogs with you, and with their warmth and your exhaustion, you passed out pretty fast.

 

* * *

 

You slowly became conscious, groaning and blinking open your eyes. Uncomfortable, you readjusted and absentmindedly noticed it was still dark, and the dogs were snoring. Grabbing your phone and turning it on (squinting in pain at the bright light), you checked the time: 3:27AM.

Ugh.

You groaned, putting your phone back down as you sat up, rubbing your eyes. You didn’t really remember the time that you fell asleep - it was dark, but it was still early - it was probably, like, 9 or 10PM.

You looked around your room, sighing at the cleanliness of it - yes, that should be considered good, but… you just felt sad.

Sighing, you grabbed your phone and unlocked it (you saw you had a few messages).

Some were from Sage, and a couple others were just from people talking in group chats on Kik. You also had a few Instagram notifications, but they were just likes on one of your recent posts. (You had a fan account, technically, but it kind of turned into a spam account. You had a few active, faithful followers who still liked your random shit-posts, but, you had mostly lost everyone else due to not posting fandom stuff).

You scrolled through Instagram for awhile, barely noticing the time go by. After awhile you got bored, so you turned your phone off and set it down.

Figuring there wasn’t much point in going back to sleep, considering you weren’t tired anymore, you got up, stretched, and went and turned on your light.

You looked around your room. You had packed up everything you didn’t need and that didn’t need to be thrown out. You’d ripped up tons of papers, thrown out a lot of trash, and you already have your backpack packed…

All that was left, really, was burning the crap you didn’t want your parents seeing and that you couldn’t take with you.

The stuff you needed to get rid of were in boxes, and you had hid them in your closet for the time being. Going over to your closet, you pulled open one of the doors (seeing as the other one couldn’t open due to your glass desk), and pulled out one of the boxes, placing it on the floor in the middle of the room.

The only problem about your plan was the fact that you couldn’t drive. And because you couldn’t drive, you couldn’t take these boxes anywhere to burn them. You groaned - you really should have gotten your driver’s license, but you were too lazy.

Figuring it’d be too much of a hassle to burn this stuff, you just decided you could start ripping up pages and like… putting it in bags and filling it with water - that way the paper would be too ruined to salvage.

Opening the box, you pulled out one of your many journals.

 _Time to get to work_ , you thought.

 

* * *

 

A little while later and you were feeling very sad, having read each page before tearing it out. Some of the things you wrote were cringeworthy - like those pages where you talked about old crushes - others were sad (family being mean, friends no longer friends, etc), a couple were kind of funny. You hated all these memories - even the okay ones, it just reminded you of people you were no longer friends with, or it reminded you of your family - whom you were leaving in a little over twenty four hours.

You had managed to rip up all the pages from a couple journals (seeing as you never filled them completely), and you were now going through another one, trying not to cry.

In a few of them, most of the pages were filled with thoughts of suicide or self-harm - some even had drawings of your legs with all your scars and cuts on it. A lot of pages were scribbled over with one word or phrase, some with a slew of bad phrases. Most of them were from years ago - a little bit after you found out you weren’t straight, and you had gotten really depressed because of how terrible the world is. And, coincidentally, it happened to be around the same time you picked some… bad, friends.

So, that time was not the best. And thinking about it always managed to make you really upset - you still sometimes cried over it. (Which you found odd, considering you’re an adult and should be over middle school stuff. But… you just couldn’t get over it. No matter how many times you ranted about it - you never could. It would be stuck with you forever, you assumed).

Sighing and forcing back tears, you continued to read and rip out pages from your journals, ripping them into as tiny pieces as you could, before throwing them in a plastic bag. (Walmart bags, to be exact).

You continued to do this, the time ticking by, until you noticed light coming out from behind your window - oh, the sun was coming up.

You were on one of your last journals, and you were nearly done - skimming the last few pages, you ripped them out and into tiny pieces, dropping it into your plastic bag.

Tying the bag closed, you left it on the floor, groaning as you stood up and stretched your arms above your head. “Gaaah,” You squeezed your eyes shut, listening to a lot of your bones popping.

Rolling your shoulders, you went over to your bed and grabbed your phone: 5:04AM.

Pulling your phone off the charger, you placed it in your pocket and then went over to the small mess on the floor; you threw the now-empty journals back in the box, put the box in your closet and closed the door, turned and grabbed the plastic bag, and then left your room.

Heading downstairs (quietly, as to not wake your parents), you shoved the bag into the trashcan that was in the garage. (You had decided against doing the water thing). 

Once you were back in your room, you looked around.

You didn’t really have much left to do.

A few more tweaks here and there, and then you’d be completely set to… to leave. For good.

Closing your door, you sat on the floor and leaned against it, sighing and placing your head in your hands.

You were leaving.

You were doing this.

This was happening.

Fuck.

Shaking your head, you stood up, turned off the light, and went back over to your bed. You should probably stop thinking about it.

Throwing your phone on the charger, you climbed under the covers (mindful of the dogs) and appreciated the warmth of your bed - which you wouldn’t have for much longer.

You shortly fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

You groaned, rolling over and turning off your alarm, squinting at the time: 12:00PM.

“Wha’ the fu’, why is this even turn’d on?” You unlocked your phone, and went into the Clock app.

Apparently, you had this alarm set for every day?

What?

You didn’t remember setting that. Whatever.

You rolled over and almost went back to sleep, until your brain kindly reminded you that you were leaving after today.

You groaned, sitting up and rubbing your eyes.

Looked like you weren’t getting any more sleep.

You looked at the bottom of your bed and realized your dogs were gone - your parents must have taken them earlier.

Getting up and putting your phone in your sweatpants’ pocket (man, you really needed to shower and change your clothes - you were starting to feel gross. Oh well, you could save that for tonight - that way you’d be clean and ready to leave tomorrow), you made your way downstairs (after having said hi to your parents, who were chilling in their bedroom).

You went into the kitchen and began to make food.

 

* * *

 

You spent the entire day doing things you always did, petting the dogs a lot, talking to your parents, trying not to cry, and finishing up last touches to your belongings. You tried to make the day last as long as you could, but, sadly, it went by pretty quickly.

Funny how when you want time to pass quickly, it goes slowly, and when you want it to go slowly, it goes quickly. Fucking rude.

You had taken a shower later that night, really taking your time to enjoy the luxury of a shower. A clean one that was yours, anyway.

You even blow-dried and brushed your hair, teeth, and you put on a pair of your favorite pajamas.

Once it was finally late, you said goodnight to your parents and tried your hardest not to start sobbing. As much as you wanted to leave and as much as your parents could be assholes, you still loved them. You were going to miss them.

After bidding them goodnight (for the last time, you noted and almost choked up), you called the dogs and brought them to your room.

Closing the door behind you, you slowly turned and faced your room.

You felt something warm on your face.

Wiping away the wetness on your cheeks, you made your way over and onto the bed, laying at the bottom so you could cuddle your dogs.

You began to sing - it was shaky because you were trying not to cry.

“Tifffaanyy, and Joshhuuaaa… I l-looovee you both s-so much… You meaaan the worrlldd to meee… I’m so, so, soooorrry. Tiffany you are so cute. Joshua you’re a turd. But I love you so, so… so… much. I’m so sorry, that I’m leaving… I love you… I love you… I wish I didn’t have to dooo this… You’re the beesst dogs… I’m sorry… you mean… the world… to… me….” You stopped, taking a shaky breath, eyes closed. Squeezing your dogs tightly, you tried your hardest not to cry - it didn’t really work. You were shaking.

“Fuck… I’m so sorry guys… I just.. I have to do this, yaknow? I love you… I love you so fucking much… I just… I’m.. s-s-so… s-s-s-sorrrryy,” Your lip trembled as you cried.

You fell asleep like that, curled around your dogs at the bottom of the bed.

In a few hours, you would be leaving them, your family, and your home for good.

You didn’t know how you were going to handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYYYYY
> 
> im so so so sorry for this taking so long! ahhhhh! 
> 
> you see, life suddenly got really hectic - my grandparents came , i had to go to my cousins for her graduation party, and also, like neb, im moving. well, i moved. im currently in my new room (i am on a mattress on the floor in a closet. ha) as i write this. 
> 
> things were crazy, and i barely got time to write, but i swear i didnt forget about you guys! i actually managed to write at least a few sentences every day since i last updated, so im really proud of myself :D
> 
> anyways, this chapter is a little rough. again, i wrote it over multiple days. also, im trying to make it as realistic as possible with the feelings flip flopping all over the place anD YEAH
> 
> aNYWAYS I HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND AHH NEXT CHAPTER WILL FINALLY BE NEB LEAVING WOO HOO
> 
> PLS PLS PLS COMMENT IF YOU LIKED IT OR IF YOU DIDNT IDK JUST COMMENT I LOVE FEEDBACK AND YEAH . AHHH. 
> 
> I LOVE YOU GUYYSSS!
> 
> yO also i could totally sing that lil song neb sang and upload it to my [tumblr](https://sansytheskeleton-ao3.tumblr.com/) if u guys wanna hear it. lemme know if you want that


	8. Was it Worth it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You leave.
> 
> *WARNING FOR STUFF AND THINGS IM TOO LAZY TO WARN PROPERLY BUT YOU'VE BEEN WARNED*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo guys! this chapter is a bit short. the next few will prolly also be a bit short... i'll explain why at the end notes!
> 
> I AM ENRAGED. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I HAVE TRIED TO UPLOAD THIS.  
> OKAY, IF YOU'RE READING THIS SHORTLY AFTER THIS IS OUT: I AM SORRY, BUT I CANNOT USE RICH TEXT. SO, NOTHING IS CURRENTLY ITALICIZED OR FIXED OR ANYTHING BECAUSE MY COMPUTER IS VERY FUCKING SHITTY. IM GOING TO TRY AND LOG ON ON MY PHONE AND FIX EVERYTHING, BUT YEAH.
> 
> I AM VERY SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY ANYWAYS THO
> 
> EDIT: fiNALLY FIXED IT JFC. now u all have the wonderfulness that is: itALICS!

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

_BEEP_

You groaned, feeling around as you tried to find your phone, but ended up with a handful of fur.

Oh. Right.

You sat up, squinting your eyes open as you brushed hair out of your face, looking down at your dogs. Yawning, you turned and grabbed your phone, turning off the dreaded alarm.

Scratching your head, you blearily scooted over to the edge of your bed, hanging your legs over the side. You were rubbing your eyes, still waking up, when you remembered: today was the day you… left.

Fuck.

Your eyes widened, and you completely froze. You stopped breathing, your hands went extremely cold, and you couldn’t move. You felt like your stomach had dropped to the floor.

You were leaving. Like, now.

Shit.

Gasping for breath, you forced yourself to breathe, hoping your heart rate would slow down and some warmth would come back into your hands.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” You muttered to yourself, shaking your head and squeezing your eyes shut, balling your hands into fists at your sides. You felt your eyes start to heat up.

Opening your eyes and tilting your head back, you tried not to start crying. You can’t cry now - you had to be strong; you had to go through with this.

 _Don't fucking back out now_ , you told yourself sternly.

Shakily, you stood up and looked around your room. You let out a breath.

“Fuck.”

Slowly walking over to the glass desk at the foot of your bed, you grabbed the clothes you had laid out the previous day (the clothes you’d wear for your first day of being gone)…

You pulled off your clothes, replacing it in favor for a cami-binder, a black Doctor-Who t-shirt with the TARDIS on it, a blue Doctor Who hoodie (which made you look like the TARDIS, essentially), and a pair of light blue, comfy pants. (Because who would want to walk all day in tight-ass jeans?).

You threw the pair of pajamas in your backpack (they were your favorite after all, and there was still a bit of room, and you had only worn them to bed so they were basically still clean), and went over to your bed, grabbing your phone and phone charger.

Turning on your phone, you texted Sage and… Alphys, as well.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 7:35AM  
heyy… im getting ready to leave. heh. er… i love you dude. i’ll do my best to get in contact as often as i can so you know im safe <3

Satisfied (sort of) with your message, you sent it to Sage. Now to Alphys…

xxx-xxx-xxxx 7:37AM  
hey, alphys… uh, so… im really not sure if i’ll be able to uh.. come to the library any time soon. sorry about that. something’s come up, and… yeah. i’ll try to contact you.. soon..ish? idk. i’m not really sure what’s gonna happen. im okay tho, i just wanted to let you know so you wouldnt worry too much

Sighing, you clicked send. You felt a sudden weight weigh down on your shoulders, and your stomach felt sick again. Gulping, you forced it down. You were not backing out.

Turning off your phone, you shoved it into the pocket of your light blue pants.

You didn’t really think you should be bringing your phone with you, considering people could track you with it, but… you _really_  didn’t want to give it up. Besides, because you were an adult, you had switched from being under your parent’s plan a few months ago, and now had your own plan. Or something. You could just… change your number. Maybe? Oh well, you didn’t have time to worry about it. Besides, even if your family DID track you, it’s not like they could do anything about it. You’re an adult - they can’t take you back.

You will be out of their lives forever.

The thought terrified you.

Shoving the charger in your backpack, you briefly looked over everything in there again, making sure you had everything.

You had added a few things, and you had put a shit ton of money in your wallet… you really hoped you’d stay to the shadows enough to not get robbed. That… would be bad, to say the least.

You went back over to your glass desk and picked up the note you had placed there - for your parents, of course - and reread it.

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_I’m… I’m sorry. I’m leaving. And I’m not coming back. I love you guys, and the others as well, and the dogs… but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t deal with your homophobia, transphobia, and monsterphobia. Ever since I was twelve years old, when I began to discover who I was, all I wanted was to be accepted by you guys. And you know what? You never did. Even when you found out. You pretended it never happened… and that hurt. You guys have made me want to run away, commit suicide, and so much more, so many fucking times. I hated myself. Why didn’t my parents accept me? Why couldn’t they love me for me? Why did they shove away the side of me that meant the most to me?_

_Why didn’t they love me?_

_Mom, Dad… I just wanted your acceptance. I am panromantic asexual, and agender. Look it up. Find out what it is. That’s the least you could do for me, now._

_Also, your opinion towards monsters… it disgusts me. You guys are usually open minded. You guys are pretty good people. But when it comes to something you don’t really get? You’re disgusted by it. And I’m disgusted by you guys for not even trying to understand._

_Monsters are kind creatures. They are living SOULS. They live amongst us - and they always have. We just NEVER KNEW! I can’t believe how people treat them, but honestly? I can. This world is so full of hate. Humans are a terrible species. Stop judging people because you don’t understand them - instead start taking the time to understand._

_Understand my identity._

_Understand monsters._

_Understand that LGBT people, and monsters, are people too. We just want to be accepted. We just want to be loved._

_So, that is why I’m leaving. Paul already knew my identity and was totally accepting of it - thanks Paul, I love you. I’m sorry I’m leaving, but I can’t take this anymore. Vince, you knew. You accepted it, except you didn’t understand the ‘not girl’ part. But, thank you for trying. I love you._

_Hannah, I never told you. I was scared you might tell Mom and Dad, or you might not accept me. But, I love you. Thank you._

_Thank you, all of you. For being there for me, through most of my life. Even if some of you couldn’t accept me for me._

_I’m sorry, but I have to leave. I’m going to start a new life, and find people who will accept me without fighting with me first. Also, people who aren’t assholes to people just because of who they are._

_I love you guys, but fuck you._

_Sincerely,_  
_Your child who is not female nor straight_

_P.S. Tell the dogs I love them._

You sighed, hanging your head. It didn’t fully cover everything you wanted it to, but you had begun to run out of space, and you didn’t want it to be double-sided. You figured it was enough.

Gently placing it back on the table, you looked around your room. Eyes landing on the dogs, you began to tear up. Walking over to them, you began petting them.

“Well… I guess this is it, guys,” You paused, trying not to cry. “I love you both. So much. Please don’t forget it…” Your throat tightened, and you felt the tears start to fall down your face. “Fuck,” You laughed weakly, wiping your cheeks. “I’m just an emotional wreck,” You paused again. You sighed, shaking your head as you began to lean down. “I’m sorry guys… I’ll miss you. I love you… Goodbye,” Your voice cracked on the last word, and you hugged and kissed them both, trying _so_ hard not to start sobbing.

You covered your face with your hand, and quickly turned away and shook as you cried.

Bracing yourself, you walked over to your door, backpack on.

Glancing at the dogs one last time, you left the room for the last time.

-

After you cried, you went into the bathroom and cleaned up a bit, then you had gone downstairs and pulled on your shoes. Since it didn’t really matter whether or not you were on time for the bus (obviously), you made yourself a good breakfast (you had oatmeal and a shit ton of water). You then gave the apartment one last glance and… left. You had called the school and put on a high-pitch voice, claiming to be your mother and saying that ____ was sick and couldn’t come in today.

Now, here you were.

Walking.

It’s been fifteen minutes and your feet were already starting to hurt.

You had contemplated turning back multiple times already, but kept deciding against it. _You would not back out._

You kept trudging your way out of the area, thoughts filled with self-hatred, and a little bit of excitement for what the future might hold. Well, and weariness. Anxiousness. Happiness, sadness. You really couldn’t make up your mind on what you were feeling.

Oh well.

-

After about… an hour? of walking, you cried in relief when you found a bus stop. Quickly making your way over to the stop, you sat down (in a corner, trying your best to ignore the creepy looking guys hanging around), and almost pulled out your wallet before deciding against it. Instead you just sat there, holding your backpack tightly as you waited for the bus to arrive.

From what you had saw, it should be here at 9:30… which was in a few minutes. Thank god.

Well, the only problem was… you didn’t know where you were going to go.

You didn’t want to waste too much money on the bus, but you had also read that it’s best to take a bus to get out of town quickly, and then continue walking and such when ‘running away’.

You looked at the map beside you (thank god you didn’t have to stand up to see it), you looked for somewhere a bit far away that you could go, but that hopefully wouldn’t cost too much.

That’s when you noticed Ebott city wasn’t too far away from here! (It was like an hour away). Well, it wasn’t the _original_ Ebott city (which was in a different state), but it was populated with monsters. Monsters were kind - maybe you could hide out somewhere there?

Yeah. You decided that you’d go there.

Well, not directly. You would go somewhere nearby, but not to the actual place - you didn’t want someone to call you out on going to a monster-populated area.

Wait. Speaking of which… wouldn’t that be a little weird? You’d stick out like a sore thumb! What were you thinking? A human wandering the streets of a mostly-monster populated area? Like, obviously you wouldn’t be the ONLY human around, but you would assume the other humans there lived there and were known by the other monsters as friends and supporters. Probably. Because that’s how the world works, right? A minority lives in an area, and only them and supporters will live in that area. Others will scoff on the area.

And yes, monsters do have a fair share of rights nowadays, but there were still a fuck-ton of assholes. If, after all these years, people haven’t fully accepted LGBT+ people, then it would take _way_ longer for monsters to get more accepting people.

Before you knew it, the bus was pulling up and you had to make your decision. (You also needed to get your money).

Having a bit of an internal struggle as you pulled out a couple bucks (discretely), you decided on your original idea. You’d just… you’d figure something out.

You didn’t want it to be too obvious, so you told the bus driver somewhere a few cities away, and gave him the money. Bracing yourself, you took a deep breath as you made your way down the narrow lane, finding an empty seat (luckily).

Sitting down by the window, you placed your backpack in the seat to the left of you, hoping no one would try to sit by you.

Hooking one arm through a strap of it (just in case someone tried to take it), you pulled your phone out of your pocket and texted Sage.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 9:32AM  
hey. i’ve been walking for awhile. i’m now on a bus. so far, so good. love you. text me when you wake up

You contemplated going on Instagram, but decided against it - you needed to save your battery.

Sighing, you shoved your phone back in your pocket and decided to look out the window instead, watching the life you had leave as each tree passed.

You were excited and terrified at the same time.

It was too late now to turn back.

 

You spent the hour-ish thinking about what you had done, and it finally sunk in that you had ran away. Sort of. Not fully, but… enough to have you have a small panic attack on a public bus.

You also thought of Sage, hoping that he would wake up soon - he did live an hour behind you, but… still.

Then you thought of Alphys, who still hadn’t replied to your last text. You would miss her, but you were doing this _for_ her. Well, and yourself of course, but also for her kind. You wanted to make friends with monsters without your parents being dickheads.

You thought about quite a bit, but nothing at the same time. You were going to miss your family, your dogs, and your home… but this would be best.

You could start fresh.

 

Once you arrived at your destination, you awkwardly got up off the bus, wary of the only man who was getting off as well.

You gulped, holding onto your backpack straps tightly. You began walking away quickly, hoping to god that the man wouldn’t say anything to you.

You noticed that he was walking in the same direction as you. Fuck fuck fuck. You felt your heart rate start to speed up and your hands go cold. You picked up your pace, hoping he would turn a corner or something.

When he didn’t, you quickly looked around in hopes to find a large crowd nearby. There were a few people walking, but everyone else was probably at work or school… fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You made a sharp turn, going down a street that had some more people walking around, and it seemed pretty well-lit.

The guy followed.

You were starting to regret your decision.

In the corner of your eye, you saw the guy start to walk side-by-side to you. You tried to pick up your pace to get away, but he grabbed your arm. Fuck. No. This wasn’t happening. No. No. No. You tried not to cry.

“Where ya headin’ lil lady?” He sneered, gripping your arm so tight it hurt. You couldn’t get away - and nobody noticed, because he was so close and blocking his hand from view.

You wanted to cry.

“None of your fucking business, and I’m not a lady,” You said roughly, trying to pull your arm away, and hoping your voice didn’t sound too feminine. You couldn’t get out of his grip.

The man smirked at you, giving you a disgusted look. You felt your blood run cold. “What, are ya a tranny or some shit? Fuckin’ gross. Maybe I should teach ya how ta be a woman,” He began to pull you away, and you noticed… fuck. He was holding a knife.

Nope. You weren’t doing this. Fuck this.

Bracing yourself, you began to shout as loudly as you could, kicking him and pulling away. “GET OFF OF ME, YOU FUCKING CREEP! I’LL CALL THE POLICE ON YOU, YOU PERVERT!” You managed to get out of his grasp, wincing in pain as his knife nicked you, and you fell to the ground. Quickly scrambling to get up, you backed away a few steps, glad to see some people were starting to look over here.

You continued to back away and scream. “GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!” You were satisfied to see him get angry, but knew he couldn’t attack you now that other people were around.

He finally backed off, and you turned and made a run for it, turning your head a few times to make sure he wasn’t following you.

You kept running until you were a few streets away, and in an area with more people. Thank god.

Breathing hard, you forced yourself to calm down. Now that your adrenaline was draining, you could really start to feel the pain from his knife.

Looking down, you realized it was more than just a nick - your jacket was ripped (fucking hell! this thing was one of your favorites!), and there was… quite a bit of blood on your arm. Wincing slightly, you rolled up your torn sleeve to look at the wound.

It was pretty deep, but thanks to the jacket, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. There was also a bruise starting to form from where he grabbed you so hard.

Rolling your jacket sleeve back down and holding your arm tightly (to stop the bleeding; you were also careful of your bruise), you slowly began walking again, and looked around for a store.

Relieved, you noticed a Target nearby - perfect! They had that whole bathroom thing, and they were very LGBT+ accepting. You began walking that way, intending on using one of their gender neutral bathrooms to clean up your arm.

Doing your best to try and cover up the blood on your jacket (thank god it was a dark blue, so the dark red didn’t stand out too much), you walked into Target and tried your best to not look too out of place.

You saw a few monsters here and there, as well as humans.

You casually made your way over to the bathrooms, going into the private gender neutral bathroom.

Closing and locking the door, you sighed. It’s only been a few hours, and it’s already been quite the day. You hoped that thing with the creep would be the only time something like that happened… you didn’t think you could handle another incident like that. It could be bad.

Looking around the bathroom, you noticed that it was quite nice.

The toilet was tucked over in the far left corner (from where you were standing by the door), and the sink was more towards the right corner (again, from where you were standing). The toilet didn’t look disgusting - so that was nice. The sink was cute - it was small and it had little swirls in the decor. The mirror was rounded and had dark brown swirly patterns as the frame.

It was pretty cute and surprisingly clean. You liked it.

Figuring that you didn’t know the next time you’d be able to use the bathroom, or such a clean one at that, you went over to the toilet and placed your backpack on the floor next to you as you sat down.

Getting up, you flushed the toilet and made it to the sink, washing your hands. You looked a bit… messy. Probably from running for so long (you didn’t even know you could do that?) to get away from that creepy man. You smoothed back your hair with some water, trying to fix it up a bit.

You then pulled off your jacket, and groaned at the fact you probably wouldn’t be able to get out that blood stain. Whatever.

Tying it around your waist, you then grabbed a couple paper towels from the dispenser (which was next to the sink on the wall), and ran it under lukewarm water, before gently dabbing at your wound, wincing a bit at the contact.

God, how did you even manage that? Was that a sign that you shouldn’t have ran away or some shit? You didn’t know. You just hoped it didn’t happen again.

Sighing, you continued to clean up the cut to the best of your abilities. It wasn’t too bad, but it still hurt like a bit. You didn’t think it needed stitches or anything… but then again you couldn’t really tell.

Just to be safe, you grabbed a big bandaid out of the box in your bag (which was a multi-pack of bandaids that had all the sizes, and they were waterproof), and carefully placed it over the cut.

There. Good as new.

You sighed, frowning at yourself in the mirror. You didn’t know if you were making the right choice anymore. Yes, your family were douches, but… they were also good. And you had your dogs, and your home, and you had certainly never been in a situation like that before! That was the first time something like that happened. Well, there was something sort of like it when you were a teenager, but the other boy was a teenager and just an idiot. He was so tall that you just ducked under his arm and ran away.

But this time it was much more serious. And terrifying. You could never quite believe that people did that kinda shit, but… first day out on your own, and you get a fucking cut from some crazy ass pervert. It was terrifying.

At least over the years from hearing stories of women who wished they had fought back or yelled and screamed to cause attention to get away, and reading articles and articles about how it’s best to kick and scream because they’ll give up if you cause a fuss, and even that article on running away that told you to stay away from those kinds of people and to make a scene if they get near you, you knew what to do. Luckily you didn’t get too hurt. Next time you’d just need to be more careful; and always stick to the screaming and kicking method, seeing as that seemed to work.

Even though you were scared and lost and worried, you felt kind of good. You had stood up to that man, who had to be like two feet taller than you?? and you got away. You did it. On your first day, and with your first encounter on something like that. A lot of people learn after something bad already happens - but you managed to get away, all by yourself.

You were proud of yourself.

You laughed; usually, in all the fanfictions you have read, the moment where that guy had grabbed you, person B would swoop in and save the day, and then the characters would get to know each other, become friends, and fall in love. It’s how all fanfictions go, basically. Person A being in trouble, and person B saving them.

You felt proud of yourself for not needing a person B to step in and save you - you had saved yourself.

Thinking of it that way made you feel a lot better.

Deciding that you didn’t wanna leave quite yet, especially that you had this bit of privacy where you didn’t have to be fully aware of your surroundings, you pulled your phone out your pocket.

You had multiple text messages.

adam (the one in hell) 10:08AM  
oh my god oh okay that’s today? fuck okay. text me as much as you can. i love you too, stay strong neb. you’ve got this. be safe

adam (the one in hell) 10:11AM  
no but like seriously you should totally try to text me as much as you can

adam (the one in hell) 10:12AM  
i’ll miss you. good luck bro. please stay safe. we talked about what you need to do in case of bad shit happening

You smiled at his messages. It was nice to see how much he cared.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 10:43AM  
heyy! thank you. im doing my hardest to stay safe, man. i promise i’ll do my best to contact you. i just wanna make sure i dont have to worry too much about my phone dying, yaknow?

xxx-xxx-xxxx 10:43AM  
anyways tho like. this fuckin crazy ass bitch approached me and grabbed my arm when i was walking down the street (dont worry im ok) and he like had a knife and then called me a tranny and tried to pull me away but i was like biTCH NO and i kicked and pulled and screamed and cursed at him and yeah. i got away. i have a nasty ass cut and bruise on my arm tho. other than that my morning has been okay

You clicked send, hoping he wouldn’t worry too much. You didn’t wanna keep the information from him, but you also were worried that he might stress out too much about your safety.

You also noticed you had some messages from Alphys, so you went to check on those.

queen alphs 10:03AM  
Oh! Um, okay…? I hope you’re okay. please text me when you can! I’ll miss you. are you sure you’re okay?

You gulped, ignoring the multiple messages that you were getting from Sage. You didn’t wanna lie to her, but… ugh. _Kill me now,_ you thought.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 10:45AM  
yeah, im okay alphs. i’ll do my best to keep in contact. things are a little hectic right now, and yeah. i’ll miss you too

Your heart clenched at the fact she would miss you. She would miss you?! Oh god, you felt so bad. She was so wonderful, and cute, and funny… you felt so stupid, but you’re building up quite the crush on her. You didn’t really want to leave her behind… You were doing this somewhat for her, but… now you don’t even get to see her? Just text her? Ugh. You were starting to see more and more problems with your idea to run away - you were starting to think that it wasn’t the best idea, and that you probably should have thought it out more…

Checking Sage’s messages, you couldn’t help but laugh.

adam (the one in hell) 10:44AM  
WHAT?

adam (the one in hell) 10:44AM  
I WILL FUCKING MURDER THAT FUCKING BITCH. OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY? SHIT DUDE THAT s fuCKING wHAT THE FUCK. im sO GLAD YOURE OKAY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

adam (the one in hell) 10:44AM  
i sWEAR TO GOD NEB YOU JUST FUCKING TEXTED ME AJDHFKSBH ANSWER. I AM WORRIED YOU FUCKING SHIT

adam (the one in hell) 10:45AM  
neb if yuo dont fuckign answer i swear toufckign god im going to fly my ass over there and track you the fuck down

xxx-xxx-xxxx 10:46AM  
omg sage chill. i promise you, i am okay. like i said, i kicked that mothafucka and screamed until he left. he just managed to cut my arm and ruin my doctor who jacket ;-; but yeah. i aM OKAY . i swear

adam (the one in hell) 10:46AM  
god fucking dfskndjh well, im glad you’re okay jesus fucking christ. im proud of u for getting the fuck away. god. jesus. you need me with u, ur a smol hobbit and i am 6 feet. i could be ur body guard aND PROTECT YOU

You laughed.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 10:48AM  
omfg sage. this guy was prolly like 6 feet, and i fuckin got him the fuck away from me. calm, giant giraffe. i swear to you, i am okay. anyways tho man i hate to do this but ive been hiding in this target bathroom for too long and i hope no one get suspicious. i should prolly get outta here and start getting back on my way to wherever the fuck im going. ilysm i promise i’ll text you as soon as possible

You shut off your phone, slipping it in your pocket and stuffing the Doctor Who jacket in your backpack, instead grabbing your gray jacket with the purple lining. You shrugged it on, gave yourself a once over in the mirror, made sure your backpack was zipped and slung it over your shoulder.

Before you headed out, you checked your phone quickly.

adam (the one in hell) 10:49AM  
ugh okay you better fuckin stay sAFER. please fuckin text me as soon as you can again. lemme know once you find somewhere safe to chill for the night later

adam (the one in hell) 10:49AM  
well obviously text me before later tonight but yeah. anyways i love you too and good luck out there

queen alphs 10:48AM  
Okay..! Stay safe <3

Your heart flipped a little at the heart Alphys sent, but you decided you didn’t need to reply to any of the messages that you had. Turning off your phone, you placed it back in your pocket and left the small, cute bathroom.

Looking around, no one seemed to be looking at you suspiciously, so you quickly made your way out of the building.

After quickly checking a map on your phone, you began going in the direction towards Ebott city (which wasn’t the real Ebott city. Why did they name another city after Ebott? Was it just because a bunch of monsters moved there or something? Had it always been that, and you just never knew? You had no idea. Whatever).

Holding your backpack tightly to you, you did your best to keep to the shadows as you made your journey towards the mostly-monster populated area.

You knew you’d have to stop eventually, considering the walk there would take about three days, from what your phone had said.

Bracing yourself, you began your long journey.

Hopefully there’d be no more shitty encounters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO. 
> 
> okay. i hope you enjoyed that. 
> 
> anyway, im sorry this chapter was so short. 
> 
> OH ALSO JUST AN FYI I AM A SMOL TEENAGER WHO KNOWS NOTHING OF THE ADULT WORLD (jk i know some stuff but still) aND SO LIKE IF ANYTHING IS INACCURATE I AM SORRY OK I AM TRYING ;-;
> 
> ANYWAYS. this chapter is sHORT because i am trying to get the next few chapters written and done in advanced. 
> 
> you see, i am meeting my best online friend for the first time in a few days! (who happens to be sage. whoopsie). and we're going to jamaica for a week, and then he's staying at my place for two extra weeks. so, im not gonna get much time to write!  
> so, im getting chapters done now (im like halfway through chap 9) so i can post weekly while im away! (if u guys r lucky, i might get multiple chapters written in advanced and i MIGHT post twice a week). 
> 
> but worry not! ima try and write smol lil drabbles as often as i can, just so you guys have somethin to read from me while im gone! and, they'll be entirely whatever YOU want. (ok, and a few things i want xD).
> 
> but yeah, they'll be very short drabbles, and you can let me know in the comments or at my tumblr (check previous chapters for link. im too lazy to link it rn) what you might wanna see! 
> 
> no guarantee i'll do all of them (if i get any) or will be able to do certain ideas, but i want to try. for you guys. 
> 
> so please let me know what you would like for drabbles. it can be related to this fic or something entirely different! just check my works every now and then and hopefully i'll have a drabbles thing up for you guys to check out. 
> 
> okay, well, ive rambled on long enough. 
> 
> thank you for reading!! please comment <3 i love you guys!


	9. Family Can Be Annoying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. (Or, in this case, running).
> 
> *Warning for more shitty things and assholes*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOWDY. HERE IS CHAPTER 9. I JUST FINISHED IT ;-; I RLY HOPE I CAN GET CHAPTER 10 DONE FOR U GUYS SOON, BUT IDK IF IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.  
> ANYWAYS, ENJOY

It was around noon when you had started to feel hungry. Ugh. You nearly forgot that that would be a problem. 

You were now quite a bit away from that Target you were at a little over an hour ago, but you still were not very close to your destination. 

Luckily, so far you hadn’t run into any more shitty encounters. 

Currently, you were walking on the sidewalk of a pretty open area, and there were cars driving back and forth, passing you. With each one, it made you feel like you were moving slower and slower. 

You looked around and you saw a bank… and… a dentist building? Or something? There didn’t really seem to be actual stores with food around, though.

You knew you had those snacks in your backpack that you could eat, but you wanted to save those for later, at night; when stores most likely weren’t open and you needed something to eat.

But then again, you didn’t want to waste money. Yes, you had over a couple thousand dollars with you (you didn’t want to leave any of your money behind, even though you knew you would have nothing if someone took your backpack), but you knew that money goes by quick. Especially when you’re not getting an income. 

You had the money to spend a couple bucks on food, but… you didn’t know. You were just worried that somehow, someway, you would run out very quickly. 

Sighing, you kept walking. The next time you saw a store, you would buy something to eat. If anything, you could get something that you could keep in your backpack, just so you can eat it once you’re really hungry.

You’ve had plenty of time to think, while on this journey. Yes, you were aware of your surroundings (how could you not be? This was terrifying, and you were already paranoid enough as it is), but you also were able to think about a lot.

Ranging from your family, monsters, the past few years, and now. It was mostly all you could think about, though. It’s not like you could think about any of your fandoms at a time like this, anyway. 

Well. You probably could, considering they always make you feel better, but you’d rather watch or read something than waste time thinking about it.

You felt it was better to contemplate what’s happening right now. In the real world. 

Your emotions… they kept jumping back and forth. You were tempted so many times to just turn back, go home, cuddle your dogs and cry. You didn’t know if you could do this; being out here, alone, fending for yourself. But, you kept walking. You didn’t dare take a step back, because if you did, you would run back home.

So, you kept picking up your feet, despite the fact they were starting to hurt. You refused to go back - you refused to leave this unfinished. _You had to do this. You had to show them that you’re capable._

Even though you couldn’t help but think about the good you had back at home, you also forced yourself to remember the bad. To remember all the reasons you left.

You had almost cried multiple times while walking, but you managed not to. 

You sure as hell missed your dogs more than anything, though. At least you had plenty of pictures and videos of them on your phone. 

You pursed your lips, letting out a breath of air in a kind of sigh. You felt terrible for leaving them, but you knew you had to do it.

Maybe one day, if your parents change their way, you’ll see them again. Your dogs, your family. Maybe you won’t have to be gone for very long. Maybe this could all be resolved in, like, a week? 

You doubted it.

That thought made you sad. 

All that you hoped, was that your family would change sometime before the dogs get too old and pass away. 

You would love to be able to stay close to your family, and especially your dogs, but for now… you couldn’t. This decision was a fucking hard one to make, and as much as you hated it, you had to do this. For yourself. For Alphys. 

You weren’t gonna put up with your parent’s bullshit anymore. 

You looked up - oh thank god, there was a Stewarts! Completely losing your previous train of thought, you quickly began making your way over to the Stewarts - which required continuing to walk forward a few minutes, and then turning left and waiting for a moment to sprint across the busy road. 

Once there were very little cars coming by, you quickly ran across the road, getting a couple honks at you because you had come close to being hit.

Whatever. At least you made it to the Stewarts lot.

Catching your breath, you slowed your pace and made your way to the door, stepping inside the small Stewarts. 

You didn’t really want to eat a snack right now. So, instead, you went towards the counter and looked around. Considering there was really not much else other than burgers (you hated burgers), you grabbed a roll of bread… fuck it, you also grabbed some chips and a cookie. There wasn’t much harm in that, right? It’d be less than ten dollars.

Going up to the counter to pay, the person rang up each item (it ended up being about seven dollars, with tax), and you handed him a ten dollar bill. After getting the change back, you stuck it back in your wallet, and in your backpack (which was on the floor, out of sight from the cashier. You made it look like you were putting it in your pocket).

Figuring that it was pretty safe in here, and that you didn’t want to wait to eat, you brought your food over to one of the little booths, and sat down. 

You ripped off pieces of the bread, savoring it as much as you could. You also ate your chocolate chip cookie (you saved the bag of chips for later, putting them in your backpack). You ate about half of the bread, and then neatly tucked it back into the brown paper bag, folding it over and putting it in by the chips.

Hunger sated for now, you slung your backpack over your shoulder and continued your journey. 

 

You walked and walked all day, sitting down to rest only a few times. You thought about so many things, you texted Sage multiple times to let him know you were alright. (You continued to ignore Alphys’ text). 

You had managed to successfully avoid harassment again that day, but you did get a few odd looks. You didn’t know if it was your short, bright purple hair, or that you were holding onto your backpack for dear life. Whatever - at least no one said anything to you or touched you. 

The day had been going pretty alright.

Well, until now.

It was around five, and your phone began buzzing like a motherfucker.

At first you thought it was Sage.

You were wrong.

You had three missed calls from your mom, two from your dad, and one from each of your siblings. You had multiple texts from all of them, saying stuff like ‘we love you’ ‘please come back’ ‘are you okay’ ‘please answer’. 

A few of the texts seemed angry… probably because you weren’t replying. Or maybe it was your note. 

You noticed that you had voice messages as well.

You didn’t want to listen to them.

Your eyes watered a little.

Tired, and not wanting to deal with this shit, you quickly shot Sage a text saying that your family was spamming you and that you were gonna completely turn your phone off. He said okay, and to stay safe (again) and to text him as soon as you turn it back on. You told him you would.

You held down the power button, and then swiped the screen to turn off your phone all the way.

You could deal with them later… or not at all. 

The only problem now was that you had been using your phone as a map so you wouldn’t get lost.

You didn’t really wanna turn your phone back on because of all the messages you’re getting from your family, but from what you had last looked at, you were going in the right direction.

Maybe you should try and find somewhere to hide out for the night, before it gets dark… oh god.

You nearly forgot: you’re now homeless. 

Well, shit.

You would need to find places to stay each night, every night. And it had to be safe, away from creeps, and somewhere discreet. Fuck. You had no idea where to even look.

It’s not like you had any friends - especially anywhere near here. You couldn’t crash on anybody’s couch. You had to sleep outside, on the cold, hard ground. If you were lucky, you’d find a nice bench or some shit to sleep on. 

And… it’s not like you could just keep walking. It’s much more unsafe to be alone at night than it is during the day. Obviously it’s unsafe during the day, if your encounter earlier had anything to say about it (your arm still hurt a bit), but they’ll usually back off if anybody’s around. At night, not many people are around to see - and, even if there’s some people, it’s dark. Which meant that not many people would really notice what’s going on nearby.

Ugh.

You kept walking, fear and unsureness creeping up on you, yet again. 

You wanted to google where the safest places to go would be, but you didn’t want to be bombarded by message after message from your family.

You looked up at the sky, and you saw the moon creeping, as if it was taunting you that you only had a few hours until it was dark. You loved the moon, but currently you wished that it wouldn’t fall down. 

You laughed and began humming a song you knew, “Hey moon, please forget to fall down, hey moon, don’t you go down…” you smiled a little bit as you sang the Panic! At the Disco song underneath your breath, kicking a rock as you continued walking. 

If worse came to worse, you always had music to cheer you up. 

Deciding that that was a good idea, you continued humming songs underneath your breath as you walked, scanning the area so you could spot somewhere to stay for the night. 

You hummed any song that came to mind, whether you knew the full thing by heart, or only a few lines.  
About an hour passed as you did this, songs ranging from Fall Out Boy, to P!ATD, My Chemical Romance, Cold Play, Imagine Dragons… and so on.

The sky was turning to a darker shade of blue, and the air was starting to get chillier. 

You shivered and zipped up your hoodie, putting the hood on your head as you tried to keep away the chill. It was still Spring, so sadly you wouldn’t be having warm nights. 

You realized that you probably should have left during the summer, if you were going to leave. Ugh. Too late now. 

You passed stores of all kinds, restaurants, houses… you didn’t really see anywhere that you could hide out at.

Honestly, you had no idea what to do - would you have to sleep outside, on the cold, hard ground? Could you somehow sneak into a 24/7 building and hide out there until morning? Would you pay the money to spend a night in a hotel, or cheaper yet, a motel? You didn’t know where to go, or where to stay. Honestly, you would just keep moving all throughout the night, if it wasn’t so unsafe. If you had a car and could drive, however, it would make life so much easier. Ugh.

Humming the tune to Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy, you kicked a rock as you continued to trudge down sidewalks, turning every now and then. You had ended up turning your phone back on at one point, ignoring all the messages (123 text messages, 86 missed calls, and 32 voice messages), you checked your map so you could continue going in the correct way. You had messaged Sage to let him know you were still okay and had turned your phone on to check your map, and that you were going to turn your phone back off lest your family continue to harass you and drain your battery. 

It was starting to get chillier, and therefore you were began shivering more; it was only a little bit, but it was still there. You needed to find somewhere to hide out, and somewhere warm.

Turning another corner, you continued to scan every building and area, hoping to find somewhere that you could stay for the night, whether it be inside or out. You just needed to find somewhere safe, at the very least.

That’s when you spotted it - a motel. (The fanperson part of your mind scanned the parking lot for an Impala - sadly, you did not find one). 

As you continued to walk closer to it, you had a mini debate in your head - should you or should you not use your money to spend a night in the hotel, safe and away from the cold? Sure, motels weren’t the nicest… well, you’d actually never stayed in a motel before. Was it worth it?

You knew you had enough money, but you also didn’t want to run out quickly if you kept using it. Sure, you had managed to barely spend any at all so far, but it adds up. 

But… this was your first night officially gone. It would take some getting used to, and until you did more research… it’d probably be a good idea to spend the money to stay there, just for the night. 

Making your final decision, you quickly crossed the street and headed up to the motel. 

You figured you’d charge up your phone, do some more research on how to stay safe at nights, and be warm tonight. Yeah. Besides, you’d be at your destination in about two more days, if you kept up your pace - then, you’d be able to rent a cheap apartment somewhere (hopefully) and get a job somewhere and start your new life. 

You walked inside the motel… lobby…? and went up to the desk, swallowing down your anxiety as the (creepy) guy greeted you.

“Um… hi,” You coughed, trying to lower your voice - you crossed your arms (the best you could while carrying a backpack) in self-consciousness. “I uh… need a room for the night…?” It came out kind of like a question, and you cringed at yourself - also, your ‘deep’ voice was… well, not very convincing. 

The guy quirked an eyebrow at you, smirking in a way that filled your stomach with unease. “What’s wit' the voice, lady?” Your stomach dropped, and you felt like you could puke.

You coughed a bit, averting your eyes as you kept up your ‘deep’ voice. “‘M not a lady, mister,” You coughed again, “Can I please get my key now?”  You continued to cough all throughout the time you spoke, and you felt your anxiety rise in your arms, chest, and head as you watched his face twist into disgust. Your heart sped up.

“Not a lady, hmm?” You noticed he had the same look in his eyes that the other creep did, “What’s in yer pants, then?” He put his elbows on the desk, leaning forward towards you as he continued that _awful_ smirking.

“Non’ a your fuckin’ business,” You flinched despite yourself as he continued to lean towards you.

He unashamedly eyed your whole body up and down, multiple times, his smirk growing wider. You wanted to run out of there, but you were too afraid. “So I take it ya have a vagina? Hmmm… I’ll give ya a room for free if ya do me a favor, tranny,” His eyes trailed over your body again as he licked his lips. 

You froze, hands going extremely cold, breathing shallow, and heart racing; you couldn’t move. You knew what he meant, and… no… no no no. No. Fuck. You had to get out of there. Just pick up your fucking feet and run. Do it. _DO IT NOW!_

But you didn’t. You felt very exposed and terrified as he continued to stare at you, and you felt as if you were paralyzed from anxiety. 

When he leaned back and began to stand up straight, seemingly about to come around the counter, that’s when you registered the seriousness of the situation. 

“Um, you know, I uh - I just forgot, I-I have a uh.. um, appointment! I, uh, I gotta run, sorry!” You turned, quickly scrambling for the door as he rounded the desk. 

Your hands were shaking, and you _had_ to get out of there. Now. 

You managed to get the door open (thank god) after a bit of struggle, and you quickly bolted out of there, stumbling a few times as you ran away from the building, not looking back to see if the man followed you. 

Once you had ran a good bit awhile, only then did you stop to breathe, turning to see that he hadn’t followed you.

Your entire body was ice cold, your heart was pounding, and you felt light headed.

God, you were lucky to get out of there. 

As the adrenaline left your body, you felt yourself warm up, but you also felt _extremely_ tired. Ugh. You just wanted to rest. 

Thinking back on what just happened, you were horrified. You felt like you were naked in front of the man, and that you were helpless - you couldn’t move, and all you could think of was what he would’ve done to you, had you stayed. You had just barely dodged him, too - his hand had reached out to grab you, but you were already out of the door.  God, that was fucking terrifying. Why did people think it was alright to do this kind of shit? 

To make matters worse, in the moment you were running to the door, all you could think was that you wouldn’t make it in time - in nightmares, you could never get the door open in time before the person got to you. You were stuck, and you just _couldn’t_ get out. In TV shows or movies, whenever a character would be running away from something, you’d always get so much anxiety and fear that they wouldn’t make it. The worst was video games, especially when you actually didn’t make it and died. 

It was high up on the list of your biggest fears, and to actually be in that situation… god, that was terrifying. You were lucky to have gotten out. Jesus. 

Your legs felt wobbly as you tried to stand upright, and you felt like you could fall over at any second. Shit.

Well, now motels were out of the option.

What the fuck were you going to do?

For the time being, you forced yourself to keep walking. You’d find something… you had to. 

 

The sun was finally going down and you still hadn’t found somewhere to hide. And, you had been moving rather slowly from exhaustion from walking all day, and from the adrenaline and anxiety from the two creepy men who tried to hurt you today. You had made a decision: do not go inside anywhere again unless you had to, and stay the fuck away from any men on the street - if you saw one, quickly walk or run away before they could get anywhere near you. 

You didn’t know what to do. You had no idea where to go - god, you wished you could remember where the best places to sleep would be… ugh. You should’ve done more research - you should’ve _memorized_ it. 

Ugh.

You were still feeling feelings of regret, and you considered calling a family member to come pick you up and take you back home. This living on the streets thing was hard - how did anyone successfully run away? You’d been gone not even twenty-four hours, and you had already been harassed twice, and you were exhausted. How the fuck were you going to continue doing this for days? 

What if it lasted longer than that? What if something bad happened and it ended up being weeks? Months?

You felt your heart quicken. No, no… that couldn’t happen. You had to get somewhere safe as soon as you could, you could _not_ stay on the streets for so long. You _needed_ to find a place to live.

As you continued to walk, you spotted a Walmart. You knew Walmarts could be sketchy, especially at the late hours, but… it was open 24/7. 

And you currently needed somewhere to rest your feet, and google what the fuck to do. 

You stepped inside the Walmart, immediately feeling warmer once you got out of the chilly air. 

Walmart was big, so you began to walk deeper into the store (bringing a cart with you so no one would ask questions), hoping to find a spot you could chill for a bit without getting kicked out or running into anybody. 

After some walking, and placing random things in your cart as you went to avoid odd looks, you ended up in the furniture section, sitting in a comfy couch-chair in a back aisle. (You placed the shopping cart next to the chair). You sighed, rocking a bit (because apparently it rocked?), and pulled out your phone, turning it back on. (Your backpack was on the floor by your feet). 

You had about 60% of battery life left. You would really need to charge it soon…

You texted Sage for a few minutes, letting him know what happened and where you were currently, and how you had no idea what to do. He suggested some ideas, but you really… didn’t want to do that. 

Ignoring all the messages from your family, you opened up Safari and began googling what you could do.

You read a few articles, but you were barely able to pay comprehend them from exhaustion.

After about ten minutes, you knew you wouldn't be able to do anything until you got some shuteye. 

You shoved your phone back in your pocket, grabbed your backpack off the floor and placed it on your lap, putting your arms through the straps and holding the front of it tightly.

Exhaustion fully hitting you now, you closed your eyes and dozed off within a few minutes.  
-  
"Pssst."

Your eyebrows scrunched together in your sleep.

"Pssst, hey, girl," Your eyes flew open, and you wildly turned around in your spinny chair to find the source of noise, your heart rate quickening - _please_ do not be another creep. 

Your eyes landed on a group of guys, and you began to panic even more, getting ready to stand up and bolt - you were in a public store, after all... they couldn't do anything, right?

Before you got a chance to run the fuck away, one of the guys said something that made you hesitate.

"Giv' us thirty bucks and we'll giv' ya a whole bottle'a vodka. Ya look like ya need it," He opened up his jacket to reveal the bottle, the other guys looking around to make sure no one was coming.

Vodka? Hmm... Yes, you were underage... but... that just meant that even if you WANTED it, you wouldn't be able to get it. 

You have no idea where these guys even came from (wait, you actually had no idea what time it was - you were in Walmart after all, and around a certain time is when the weirdos pile in), and whether or not the vodka was untouched, but... 

You did like yourself a few drinks (you have taken sips of vodka and other drinks throughout the years, the first time when you were like twelve. You liked the taste, but you weren't allowed to really drink it - however, you did steal some every now and then from the little bar in the living room your parents set up). 

Figuring the worst that could happen would be, like, the cops confiscating your alcohol (if you were lucky enough to not be harassed by these guys), you decided to go for it. Because why not?

"Thirty bucks, huh?" You said slowly, turning back to face them. They all nodded.

"How about I give you forty and you give me two bottles?" You tried to bargain. 

The group of guys all looked amongst each other, as if asking what they should do.

Finally, they all nodded.

Was it bad you internally jumped with joy? 

You grabbed forty bucks from your wallet (careful as to not let them see HOW MUCH cash you had), and slowly held it out to them, using your other hand to reach for a bottle. 

Once they gave you one, you only handed them twenty bucks, and then backed away a few steps. 

You sniggered as they looked irritated. 

"Well?" You raised an eyebrow.

One of the guys sighed and pulled out another bottle of vodka, handing it to you (after you placed the other one on the seat), and you then gave them the rest of the money.

"Thanks fellas," They quickly dashed off, obviously not wanting to get caught doing something illegal.

Oh well.

You reached into your pocket and held down the power button so it would turn on, and as you waited you did you best to make room for the bottles in your backpack (you ended up wrapping them in a few shirts, for extra space and for safety).

Pulling out your phone, you checked the time: 3:47AM. 

Ah, that's why there are sketchy people in here.

Also, you were surprised you hadn't been kicked out - did no one ever come over here? 

Whatever. 

Glancing around, you made sure no one was nearby (especially the guys who sold you the vodka), before sitting back down in your chair.

May as well get some more rest, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYO!  
> i am right on time yaaaas  
> a tad bit early, actually :D  
> (╬ﾉಠ益ಠ)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: * 
> 
> lmao anyways.,, it might be a bit choppy towards the end. i was tryna get it finished and yeah
> 
> again sorry if anything seems odd for i am only 15 & i dont really know all that adult shit yet (obviously i know some but like,,, yeah) 
> 
> aNyways tho.
> 
> u can stop reading if u dont give a shit about my life. ima just rant tho:
> 
> I MET MY BEST FRIEND WHO HAPPENS TO BE SAGE IN THIS FIC! :DDD (i put him in here 'cause i needed a best friend character and i dont rly have many friends)  
> ANYWAYS  
> HES GREAT  
> HE CRIED WHEN WE MET  
> WE FELL OVER ON THE GROUND AND HUGGED FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES IT WAS GREAT
> 
> IM CURRENTLY IN JAMAICA  
> HES SLEEPIN  
> IMA SLEEP AFTER I UPLOAD THIS  
> BUT YEAH  
> ALSO TODAY I SAW DOLPHINS AND DOLPHINS ARE MY FAVE ANIMAL AND I GOTTO KISS IT AND RIDE IT AND IT KISSED ME AND DOLPHINS ARE SO CUTE I WAS CRYINF  
> BU T YEAH
> 
> ALSO IVE BEEN EATING LIEK 5 ICE CREAM CONES A DAY (not at once) bECAUSE ALL THE FOOD HERE IS INCLUDED (so it's "technically" free) 
> 
> bUt yEaH. 
> 
> sorry ok im happy and again i dont have many friends xD  
> oKay
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> GOODBYE THANK YOU FOR READING I HOPE YOU ENJOYED PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU DID YOUR COMMENTS FILL ME WITH DETERMINATION AND I MEAN THAT IN THE LEAST CRINGEY WAY 
> 
>  
> 
> OH!!!! ALSO!!!!! PLS READ THIS!!!  
> I WAS WONDERIING IF I SHOULD CHANGE THE NAME OF THIS FIC? 
> 
> the current name (The Nebmeister) is just becuase,, i started writing a random fic at 3am one night and needed a name but i didnt know what to do so i just chose the random thing i put at the end of it.  
> but it doesnt really fit
> 
> so my new idea was: Was it Worth it?
> 
> do you guys think thats good??? or should i keep yhis current title bECAUSE THATS WHAT IT ORIGNQLLY WAS???
> 
> AAA OKAY IVE TALKED WAAAY TOO MUCH
> 
> THIS ISNT INSTAGRAM @ MYSELF
> 
> IM TIRED  
> BYE  
> THANKS FOR READING  
> PLS COMMENT
> 
> (edit: it's now march 24th, 2017 and i was looking back at my old chapters because i'm currently stuck and needed to get back the writing groove, and, HAHAHA i'm SO sorry for the weird thing with walmart?! i mean yeah i had googled it and weird shit happens at walmarts all the time, but man the way i wrote it was so cringey. pfft anyway though i would change it but unfortunately i can't because 1 i'd have to change a lot in the next chapters and 2 i mean i'm just too lazy to fix it. anyway though i'm real sorry about the cringiness of that and what's to come, pfff)


	10. Sleepless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yikes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT BUT HERE ENJOY THIS CHAPTER IM SORRY THAT ITS KIND OF MESSY AND QUICK BUT YEAH

"Hey, lady, wake up!" 

You groaned, vaguely swatting your hand, mumbling in your half-awake state.

"Jus' five mor' min'ts, Mom," You scrunched your eyebrows together as you tried to fall back into darkness.

"Lady, you can't be sleeping here! Get up! Buy somethin' or leave!" 

Your eyes flew open, and that's when you realized you were in a store - Walmart - and that you were sleeping in a chair there.

Fuck.

You quickly scrambled to stand up, looking at the angry, scrawny young man in front of you, who was tapping his foot in impatience. 

"Sorry, sorry," you said quickly as you flipped your backpack around, holding it properly.  
You looked around and noticed some other shoppers. "Er, may I ask what time it is?" You asked awkwardly, embarrassed that you had been caught.

The young man glared at you. "Past the time you should be outta here," He said with annoyance.

"Sheesh, okay, sorry dude," You put your hands up placatingly, still tired as fuck as you couldn't keep the grogginess and annoyance out of your voice.

You noticed that your cart was no longer in the place you left it, but you didn't care.

Once you made sure you had all your shit (aka your phone and backpack), you turned and left, the angry man tutting behind you. 

You reached into your pocket and turned on your phone as you walked to the front of the store, giving it a minute to turn on. 

Once you stepped outside, you reached into your pocket again and pulled out your phone, checking the time: 5:02AM. 

Ugh.

Well, at least you'd get a head start of walking today, right? 

Bleh. 

You walked over (out of the way of the doors) and stood by the wall, and then unlocked your phone so you could text Sage (and continue to ignore your family). 

You knew he was sleeping, but you also knew he'd want you to text him every time you got the chance.

You told him where you had crashed for the night (leaving out the bit about the alcohol, once you had remembered that bit of the night), and how you were just kicked out. You let him know your battery percentage as well, because that meant your texts would be a bit more limited as you tried to preserve battery life until you could charge it. 

Once you were done, you pulled up your map and began walking.

You were still tired despite the amount of sleep you got, and your legs were sore, but you had to keep moving despite the pain. 

You figured that the faster you got to your destination with minimal breaks, then you would be able to find a place and get a nice, long sleep. That thought filled you with determination, as corny as it sounded.

So, for the time being, you ignored your pain and continued your journey. 

Only two more days (if all went well) of this shit, and then you'd finally be able to start your new life (hopefully). 

Turning off your phone for the time being, you shoved it back in your pocket (of the clothes you were still wearing, you noted... oh well), and reached up to rub the sleep out of your eyes. 

You felt like you could sleep on the cold, hard ground right now.

But you didn't.

As you walked you took note of your surroundings. 

Since it was still quite early, it was a little foggy, and everything seemed surreal. The sun wasn't fully up, so everything was cast in a pale blue, and it was chilly. 

Not many people were awake, so it was eerily silent, save for the few cars and birds chirping. 

Many of the buildings didn't have lights on, but there were a few windows that did. 

You felt almost as if you were in a movie - you could stay in this moment forever. 

As the time passed by, and you began to wake up more, you noticed just _how_ sore you really were.

Your feet felt like they were on fire, and your shoes were digging into the back of your ankle, and your toes were in pain from constantly rubbing against the top of the shoe. Your legs were sore and felt a bit wobbly, and your shoulders felt like they could fall apart at any moment. 

You desperately needed a day to rest, but you knew that you couldn't.

You had to keep moving. You could get proper rest when you find a new place to live. 

You had two more days of this, and then you'd be good to go. 

You almost considered just paying for a bus or cab to take you to where you wanted to go, but you didn't want to waste money. Also, you remembered why you hadn't taken the bus all the way to your destination the first time - you didn't want any racists being assholes to you about going to a mostly monster populated area. 

You sighed as you slowly trudged along, dragging your feet now and then.

You had a feeling today was going to move by very slowly. 

-

The day, indeed, went very slowly.

You had quickly gotten hungry, having barely eaten anything the day before.

You had pulled out your bread and started snacking on that to hold you over as you walked, that way you wouldn't have to stop to buy food. 

You ended up finishing the bread (sadly), and... you were still hungry, but it wasn't as bad as before. So, you kept walking. 

You were walking rather slow today - considering you were in a great amount of pain. It sucked, and it was sure setting you back, but you couldn't do anything about it. 

You got a few strange looks from your limping, but you were exhausted and honestly didn't care. You almost flipped a few people off, but refrained from doing so. 

You continued to follow your map all day, wishing that the distance was as short as how the line looked on the screen. (Sadly, it was not). 

You ended up getting hungry again, half of a stick of bread not being enough to fill you, and wandered into another Stewarts when you found it (luckily for you, Stewarts was quite popular and basically everywhere) and bought more bread. And snacks. 

You ate half of the bread, and one of the bags of chips you had (the one you had bought yesterday - you saved the snacks you bought now in your backpack. You had bought another bag of chips and some cheez-its). 

Hoping that would be enough for awhile, you continued your journey. 

It was rather bumpy, and quite slow, but... you made it without dying. 

With a few pitstops for food and to take a shit, you managed to not get into any trouble (after what happened yesterday, you avoided literally everyone you could). 

Also, you did have to rest a few times - the pain became too much to bare at points. 

Oh, also, once you almost accidentally answered your mom's phone call - luckily, you moved your hand just in time, not clicking the accept button. That would have been bad.

Your family was harassing you yet again today, and you were forced to try and memorize parts of your map so you could turn your phone off, seeing as your family was trying to kill your battery. 

Overall, the day wasn't too bad. Tiring, yes. But at least you hadn't been harassed (by anyone other than your annoying family). 

Currently, it was around 7pm again and you were trying to look for somewhere to spend the night - preferably another 24/7 store, but as you continued to walk, your chances of that lessened and lessened. 

You didn't really want to try a motel again, seeing as what happened yesterday. 

You couldn't find anywhere that seemed suitable, and you were starting to panic. You _needed_ to find somewhere. You had to! It needs to be relatively safe - you're getting so close to your destination, you can't be raped or murdered now. 

You were beginning to become desperate. Also, your phone battery was dying faster than you would like, and if you didn't charge it soon, you would have no way to contact Sage or get access to your map. 

As the sun began to set, you knew you'd be sleeping outside tonight. 

You needed to find somewhere somewhat safe, and you needed to find it _now_. 

Eventually, you found a small alley - yeah yeah, you knew alleys were dangerous, and yes someone could probably attack you there, but... at this point, it was your only hope.

So, camping out for the night, you settled right in between two dumpsters.

Yup.

It smelled wonderful. 

You sat down and leaned against the building behind you, and pulled out one of your small blankets.

Draping it over you, you huddled up and leaned against your backpack, getting ready to face the night.

Luckily it wasn't too lit where you were, and you weren't wearing anything too bright (well, you hid your light blue pants underneath your blanket, which was black and fuzzy). Hiding in this little nook you found, you hoped that _even if_ someone came back here, no one would spot you. 

Hopefully. 

You pulled out your phone and turned the brightness all the way down, and texted Sage to let him know what was going on. 

Wishing him goodnight, you turned off your phone and put it back in your pocket (you felt safer with it there rather than in your backpack for some reason), and then tried to get as comfortable as you could.

It was rather dark now, and it was chilly and smelly (because of the god forsaken dumpsters). 

Tired, and hoping tomorrow would be your final day of walking, you managed to fall into a restless sleep. 

Well.

For a little bit.

You had nightmares, and you tossed and turned. You woke up multiple times, and at times you spent quite awhile sitting up, eyes wide open, shaking and terrified from paranoia.

You always knew you had bad paranoia, considering all the panic attacks you had in your bedroom when it was dark, but now that you were actually in a dangerous situation... god, you were terrified. 

Every little noise you heard, you froze up, expecting some creepy person to appear and rape you, or kill you, or both. 

Even though it was only a little bit chilly, you were freezing as if you were in Antartica - your anxiety levels were high, and you had no idea how to calm yourself down - at home, you could rationalize with yourself because you were safe.

But here...? You couldn't. You're not safe. You won't be safe. You would _never_ be safe. 

So, as you sat paralyzed and freezing, breathing shallow, your mind raced with horrible thoughts from your terror. 

At one point, you ended up opening one of those bottles of vodka you had bought.

You barely got any sleep last night, and the little bit you got was constantly interrupted and only lasted for an hour, max. 

By morning, you knew you wouldn't be making it to your destination that day unless you took a cab. 

There was no way you'd be able to get there quickly, especially from the state you're in. 

But, you would still try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS! 
> 
> IM SO SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. AND IM REALLY SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT AND NOT EVEN THAT GREAT, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING HOW LONG YOU WAITED.
> 
> i had no time to continue writing (barely) when sage was here, and also i was having writers block so...
> 
> being busy and having writers block is not a good combination.
> 
> but im back and i hope to keep this fic going! i did not abandon you guys! i know i probably lost most my readers by now, but... hopefully some of you will still like this
> 
> i know i kind of rushed this chapter. the beginning was written throughout multiple days, and then the part where i kinda skip through the time is what i just wrote right now
> 
> i felt bad for this damned thing taking so long, so i wanted to get this out as quickly as i could and i needed to get passed my goddamned writers block
> 
> this was the best way i could do it
> 
> im so sorry if it's choppy, but i promise i'll do my best to make the next chapter better
> 
> life has been super hectic, also im going back to school now rather than just staying homeschooled and afjjsjfh
> 
> im very sorry if updates come a lot slower, but i do not want to lose hope on this fic 
> 
> in the next chapter i hope to get things moving more, and for the next thing i have planned to occur. it's either gonna be next chapter or the one after that
> 
> but yeah. i really hope you enjoyed, even tho this chapter was sucky!  
> please comment your opinion  
> ily guys! i promise i'll do my best!


	11. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Café's and whatnot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes hi im so sorry this took so long!! enjoy!

Once the sun came up, you groaned. You had barely gotten any sleep at all last night, and it was all plagued with nightmares. 

You really didn't feel like moving. You wanted to just sleep forever. 

You were so fucking exhausted. 

But, as the hours ticked by and you couldn't get any more sleep, and the roads were buzzing with cars, only then did you finally decide to get up. 

Your vision was slightly blurry, and you wobbled a bit when you stood up - but, you pushed forward. You put away the vodka you had opened last night (you only drank some of it, but you had just needed something to distract yourself with) and you tucked the blanket back inside your bag. 

You then hefted your bag up and on your shoulder, putting your other arm through the second strap. Today your backpack felt like it weighed a hundred tons - obviously it didn't, but from your exhaustion and fatigue? You felt like it could make you topple right over. 

Wobbling with nearly every step, you managed to get yourself out of the god forbidden alley, and began your trek. 

You hoped that you would have enough strength to get through the day, and maybe even make it to your destination by the end of it. 

God, you were so tired. You were tired and sweaty and you felt like shit. You really needed to change your clothes and shower, or at least wash up a bit, but you didn't feel like stopping - you knew that if you did, you wouldn't want to continue your journey. 

So, you pushed on despite the greasy feeling on your face, in your hair, and basically everywhere. 

Luckily you were wearing a jacket so no one could see your sweat stains.

As you walked, you thought about the people who always had to do this - the people with no money or job, the people that had to live on the streets for a long time. 

You could not understand how they do it.

You felt like you were dying and it's only been two days - how could anyone endure years of this? 

Or, what about the people way back in the past when they had to travel for months and months with the only form of transportation being a horse and carriage? Some of which who probably didn't even have that, or they didn't fit inside the carriage and had to walk. 

You couldn't even run for more than a few seconds without your lungs feeling like they were on fire. How the hell do other people do shit like this?

You shook your head, in complete bafflement and amazement at how people survive like this.

You knew for a fact that if you didn't find a home soon, you would probably end up dying or killing yourself or something. 

Sighing, you continued walking.

Well.

More like wobbling.

Since you were so tired, you were still kind of wobbling and stumbling around - you hoped that once you woke up more you'd be fine, but that hasn't seemed to happen yet. Also, your vision was kind of blurry - you weren't seeing doubles quite yet, but everything seemed kind of... hazy. 

You knew you should probably just find somewhere to rest, but you would rather just keep pushing forward so you could get to your destination faster. 

The thought of a cab ride was sounding nicer and nicer by the second.

After only a short amount of time, you found yourself hungry again. God, this whole eating thing was quite a drain, wasn't it? 

Not feeling like spending any money, you just looked around until you found a nice, quiet little spot to sit and you pulled out some of the food you had in your backpack.

After about ten minutes (you spent awhile to just sit and rest after you finished eating), you finally decided to get back up.

Even though it felt so good to be sitting, you knew you couldn't stay there.

God. This was so annoying. And tiring. And frustrating.

All you wanted was a nice, warm home to stay in, away from the frigid air and the unsafeness that came with the streets. You wanted to curl up in a cozy bed with a big, fuzzy blanket and just nap forever.

You also really wanted your dogs. 

Fuck.

You had to stop and catch your breath - your dogs.

Tiff and Josh.

Rat terrier and poodle.

The poodle who loved to snuggle up under the blanket with you to sleep.

The rat terrier who liked to lay at the bottom of the bed - close to you, but not cuddling. 

Shit.

Your eyes began to water.

You.. you wouldn't have that any more. Ever. You wouldn't be able to have Josh force his way under your blanket to curl up on your hip, and you wouldn't have Tiff to pet and mess with her (really) soft, warm ears. 

You no longer had them when you were sad - you would put your face in their fur and cry when you were down.

You no longer had that.

You no longer had _them_. 

Fuck. 

You were going to start crying. Right now, on this street.

Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck.

You stopped, tilting your head up as you tried to keep the tears from falling. You forced yourself to take some deep breaths.

Even once you got a new place, and once you got a real nice bed... you wouldn't have your pets to cuddle up with.

Fuck, you really needed to stop thinking about that - your eyes were watering fast and you couldn't stop it; within a short time, you were crying.

Welp.

Shit.

Your heart rate sped up, and now everything _really_ was blurry. You were shaking slightly and breathing funny, and you felt like you were freezing despite the sun on you. 

You couldn't tell if people were stopping to stare at you or not, but all you knew right now was that you needed to find somewhere to sit before you got hit by a car. 

You tried to get rid of the tears so you could see, but it hurt - yeah, it hurt. For some reason, whenever you cried, your eyes would burn like hell. And when you tried to wipe the tears away, it only made it worse.

Blinking rapidly, you tried to squint through the pain - at which point, you noticed a few people looking at you.

Ignoring it (even though embarrassment was starting to creep up your neck, which made you want to cry more), you scanned the area as best you could. 

You spotted an empty bench a little ways away, and quickly began to make your way over. 

You stumbled and nearly tripped, and your breathing was starting to get a little rapid, and it felt as if your chest was being squeezed tighter and tighter by the second. Your hands were ice cold and your heart was beating like crazy. Also, you could barely see due to tears, and your eyes were burning like fire. God, you were a mess. 

Heaving, you finally made it to the bench and quickly sat down, putting your backpack next to you (keeping an arm through one of the straps in case someone tried to steal it). 

Sighing heavily, you leaned forward and put your head in your hands, taking long, deep breaths as you tried to calm down.

God... you missed your dogs. So much.

Your chest squeezed up again. 

You needed to stop thinking about them. You couldn't waste this kind of time crying over your dogs - you could do that once you were in an apartment or wherever you're gonna live. 

But for now you really needed to calm the fuck down. 

You continued breathing... it was a little ragged, but you were mostly keeping a steady rhythm. 

After what felt like an eternity, you managed to calm your heart rate, get the warmth back into your hands, and stop crying. The squeezing was gone, but now there was just... something that felt like a hole in your chest. 

"Whew," You sighed, looking up and blinking away the last of your tears. You were lucky you hadn't passed out - but, all you knew now was that you were... fucking. exhausted. 

You honestly didn't think you could get off this bench. 

Also, after a moment, you noticed a few people staring at you. 

After (tearily) glaring at them, they all turned away and carried on their stupid ass lives. 

You sighed heavily - god, you were just a mess. You were the biggest mess in the world. The messiest mess.

You had no idea what you were doing - you should've waited longer if you were gonna run away... you should've had a better plan. You should have memorized everything you needed to do. You should have... done better.

But, you didn't.

You did this on a whim, and it was mostly driven by anger over your parent's monsterphobia. Obviously it wasn't only that, but that's what tipped you over the edge.

You packed a stupid small ass backpack with some supplies and then left.

Even though it brought you so much pain, you still decided to fucking leave.

Right now, sitting on this bench, after having just had a panic attack from missing your dogs... you had no idea what you were fucking thinking running away. 

You wanted to smack yourself - you felt so stupid.

It was a dumb idea and you shouldn't have done it - but no, you were angry and wanted to leave. 

You were angry so you left everything and everyone behind. 

You wanted to go home. 

You wanted to go home so fucking badly.

And yet... you felt like you couldn't.

Yes, what you did was stupid, but... if you went back now, it would prove that you were an idiot and shouldn't have left. It would prove that you weren't capable of being on your own. It would prove that no matter what, you'd always go running back to your family.

And not to mention it would be awkward as hell.

Like, 'oh hey! yeah, I just ran away for like two days and then decided 'nah fuck it imma go home,' and now I'm back! surprise! please don't hate me'. 

Like. There was no way you could do that. 

Besides, after that note you left? Sheesh. 

As much as you desperately wanted to just go home... you didn't. You wouldn't. You _couldn't_.

You were so close, and you had been so determined thus far... you couldn't give up. You gave up on nearly everything you did - this time, you didn't want to. This time, you wanted to prove you could finish something. 

So, despite the pain and hardship... you would continue to push forward. For yourself, for the LGBT community, and for monsters. You would do this.

-

Eventually you had gotten up off the bench and continued walking, having finally calmed down enough where you thought you could get up.

Yes, you were still a bit wobbly and blurry, but that was from exhaustion. As long as you could take each step one by one, you continued your journey. 

You felt like this journey was three years, not three days. Oi vay. 

As you walked, you tried to make sure you weren't too close to the road, because you knew your wobbling wasn't gonna stop anytime soon and you didn't feel like getting hit by a car. So, you gravitated towards the far end of the sidewalk, or you'd walk in the grass, or wherever you were at the time. You just needed to stay away from the road. 

You were limping, wobbling, and your vision was blurry. You were exhausted and you felt like death. It probably wasn't very good that you were still trying to travel right now.

When you turned your phone back on for more directions, you noticed that it was only 2pm... You had left at around early noon. Had you really only been walking 2-3 hours? It felt like so much longer. 

Also, you got a popup that told you you have 20% of battery left. 

Groaning, you clicked on 'Low Power Mode', and hoped that it wouldn't die before you found somewhere to charge your phone.

You quickly asked Siri where the nearest café was (because there'd probably be an outlet there, right?) and then followed the directions it gave you. The nearest one was only a few blocks away, and it only threw you a little bit off track, but you just needed to stop and charge your phone.

Besides, a good rest would do you some good. Maybe you could order some food and a coffee (even though you hate it, you could use the energy). 

So, hoping your phone wouldn't die before you got to the café, you continued to walk and you even tried to pick up your pace a bit, despite feeling light headed and feeling like you were gonna fall over. 

It took about 20 minutes, and a few close calls of nearly passing out, but you were finally at the café. 

Sighing with relief, you slipped your phone in your pocket and looked up at the café, admiring it for a moment.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped inside.

The warmth and smells hit you instantly - you felt safe immediately.

And you also heard your stomach rumble quite loudly. 

After being seated by a rather nice (and pretty) waitress, you tried to keep yourself from shouting with joy when you saw the outlet on the wall. 

Getting comfy in your booth, you placed your backpack to the left of you (so it was on the inside of the booth) and unzipped it, rummaging around for your phone charger. 

"Aha!" You exclaimed quietly to yourself once you found it. You pulled it out and plugged it into the wall, and then, finally, plugged in your phone.

You were so happy. 

Zipping up your backpack and pushing it down a bit (so it wasn't too noticeable), you sat back and relaxed, closing your eyes as you took in the scents of the little café, enjoying this moment with a small smile on your face. 

"Excuse me, sir?" A lady's voice asked, obviously trying to hide the humor in her voice.

You jolted, opening your eyes so fast they may have popped out, and stared at the lady.

Did she just call you 'sir'?

You stammered, coughing a bit as you tried to calm down.

"Uh, uhm..." You tried to deepen your voice, "yes?" You cringed at yourself for even trying.

The waitress laughed slightly, eyes crinkling in amusement. "Would you like any drinks?" She asked.

You looked confused for a second before realization hit you. "Oh! Oh yeah," You completely gave up on trying to make your voice deeper, "Sorry. Uhm," You darted your eyes away nervously. "Uh, could I get a coffee, please?" You then told her how you wanted it - it was what your parents always put in their coffee (because that's the only coffee you knew, and you hated it but at least it wasn't as bad as black coffee). 

You quickly added that you wanted the coffee in a to-go cup.

She nodded, writing it down on her notepad.

Before she could turn and leave, you quickly cleared your throat, "Uh, could I uh... also order some food? Sorry, I'm just starving and...yeah..." You rubbed the back of your neck, not having meant to word it like that, but it was too late.

She gave you a slightly odd look, but nodded.

You quickly skimmed the menu on the table and settled on some kind of soup that came with bread. 

She nodded and wrote it down, smiled at you and then left, taking the menu after you gave her your thanks.

Once she left, you sighed. You felt like a dumbass - what if she started to wonder if you meant starving in a different way? You didn't want pity from anyone. You just wanted to get to your destination and get an apartment somewhere. 

Sighing again, you leaned back and closed your eyes, this time your face filled more with distraught than contentedness.

Even though you felt stupid, you somehow managed to doze off without thinking too much over what had happened. It must've been because of how exhausted you were.

After a few minutes (you think) you jolted awake, hitting your arm on the table as you rapidly darted your eyes around the room, breathing heavily. 

After realizing where you were, you sighed and ran a hand over your face. 

God, it seemed as if you couldn't get a wink of sleep without having nightmares. 

You felt your eyes starting to tear up, and you tried to force yourself not to cry - not when you were already getting stares from people you were trying to ignore.

Turning towards the inside of the booth, away from people's stares, you focused on taking deep, slow breaths as you tried to steady your heart rate. 

You had dreamt of your family finding you, and of your mother screaming at you, angry about what you had done and telling you that you were a liar. That you couldn't be trusted, and that you were being an attention whore by running away and saying you were 'fake sexualities and genders'. 

You were used to having nightmares of your mother shouting at you, but this had to have been one of the worst recent ones. No matter what you always cried when you woke up from one, and you felt like a baby for it.

But... for some reason, it just always got to you whenever your mother shouted at you. And, all your nightmares have either been based off of things she has said, or twisted into something much, much worse. 

Every time you had a nightmare about her yelling at you, you would always be super anxious and jittery around her the next day, anticipating something bad to happen and for her to yell at you. (You've had nightmares before of fights and then the next day or two it would come true, so you were always terrified after a nightmare like that). 

Right now, though... it was based off things she's said, and it was twisted into something worse, AND you felt like it could come true. That they would find you, and she would say those things to you. 

Your heart rate increased at the thought. 

You were shaking now, and your vision turned blurry and you could barely think and god you were terrified of that happening.

What if they found you? What if they tracked your phone or something? You knew it was a bad idea to bring it, but you needed it. What if your mom was so angry that she disowned you, and the rest of the family agreed?

Or they forced you to go back home and then they pretended like nothing ever happened, and refused to talk about it if you brought it up? 

What if your mom screams at you for what you had done, and calls you horrible things for it?

"...sir... Sir!" You jolted, again, startled out of your thoughts, breathing heavy and your heart beat loud and fast in your ears.

You tried to breathe, putting a hand on your chest as you turned to look up at the waitress. 

You looked away and noticed the coffee and soup in front of you on the table.

"Sir, are you alright?" The waitress asked, and it made you feel ever so slightly better that she was calling you 'sir'. 

"Um..." you gulped, still staring at the table. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.. Uh, sorry about that... um..." You coughed, suddenly feeling very warm and embarrassed, as well as claustrophobic as you tugged at your shirt, trying to breathe. 

"It's okay, sir, no need to apologize. Would you like some water?" She asked, and you felt as if you could cry again - god, why was this waitress so nice? You were starting to get used to asshole people. This felt foreign. 

"Uhm, yes please," Your voice cracked at the end, raising slightly as you felt your throat constrict.

God, why did you have to keep crying in public? You rarely ever cried in front of anyone, and you felt so embarrassed that you kept having panic attacks in public where people could see you. 

You barely noticed as the waitress nodded and left to get you a glass of water.

After a few moments people eventually stopped looking at you and continued their day, and you felt yourself slowly relax as you continued to breathe. 

You began to eat your soup.

After a minute or so the waitress came back with a cup of water, and you thanked her before she left again. 

You took a big sip of the water. 

You sighed in relief as the cool water ran down your throat, making you feel so much better. You felt your head start to feel less fuzzy.

Oh. Maybe you were beginning to get dehydrated? How much water did you even drink on this journey? Probably not enough. 

Within less than a minute you finished the entire cup of water.

Sighing in relief again, you began to eat your soup again. 

At one point the waitress came back and refilled your water.

"Thanks," you said as you quickly swallowed the bite in your mouth. You wiped your mouth with the napkin on the table.

"No problem. How are you doing?" The waitress asked, finishing pouring the water and holding the pitcher in both hands, looking at you with concern.

You felt a little awkward, darting your eyes away. "Uh... I'm fine, thank you.." You coughed. 

There was a pause.

"Alright. Let me know if you need anything else," She said before walking off.

"Yeah I will, thanks," you said after her and she nodded.

Once you had finished your soup, you figured your coffee wouldn't be too hot to drink by now.

You crinkled your nose in disgust as you took a sip, hating the taste. Oh well, you spent the money so you weren't gonna waste it. Also, you seriously needed the energy.

As you took a sip of water to try to get rid of the awful taste, you thought of an idea.

Granted, it wasn't a very good one.

But...

Looking around, you were glad to see that no one was staring at you.

So, carefully and as discreet-fully as you could, you slowly unzipped your backpack and rummaged around for the open bottle of vodka. 

Once you had it, you pulled it out of the bag and kept it hidden beneath the table. You twisted the cap off the bottle.

Looking around once again, you quickly used your other hand to pop off the lid of your coffee, and brought it underneath the table.

You quickly poured as much of the vodka as you could fit in the cup (it wasn't a lot because you had barely had any of coffee yet and you didn't want it to overflow).

Scanning the room again, you gently placed the cup of coffee back on the table and snapped the lid back on.

Once that was done you grabbed the cap to the vodka and tightly twisted it back on, and then carefully shoved the bottle back in your bag, zipping it up.

Sighing with that kind of relief you get when you didn't get caught with something, you shook off your nerves and began to drink the coffee.

It tasted horrid, and the vodka gave it an extra kick, but... whatever. 

It was still a bit hot so you held off on drinking it quite yet, and decided to instead finish off your water (considering you wouldn't be able to really get more later).

The waitress came back over when you began drinking your vodka-coffee again.

She picked up your empty bowl.

"Would you like anything else?" She asked.

You looked up at her, swallowing quickly and placing your cup back on the table before you answered. "Just the check please, thanks..." You squinted at her name tag, "Kristy," You smiled at her.

She smiled back as she turned and left.

As you waited for Kristy to come back, you quickly checked your phone.

The percent didn't go too much higher, but it was definitely better than it had been before. 

Putting your phone down to let it charge up a bit more, you sipped your vodka-spiked coffee as you waited.

Once Kristy finally came back you gave her the money, smiled and thanked her, and began to grab your shit to leave.

Your phone now being at almost 40%, you unplugged it and shoved the charger in your bag and your phone in your pocket. 

Grabbing your coffee (good thing you got the to-go cup), you headed out of the small café.

After checking your phone for directions, you continued your journey as you sipped your vodka-coffee.

A while passed, and you were feeling better than you had been before, but you still felt kinda... off.

At one point you had finished off your vodka-coffee and threw it out in the nearest trashcan you had found.

You tried your hardest to push through, but at one point your legs just... literally could not take it anymore.

You gave in. Fuck what anyone thought, right?

You searched where the nearest bus stop was and what time the next bus would arrive. 

...The nearest one was too far away for your liking.

So, instead, you decided to find a nice place to sit and call a cab (considering you weren't in an area where cabs were littering the streets, like in New York City for example). 

You appreciated your time to sit as much as you could, waiting for the cab to arrive to just take you to your goddamned destination. 

So what if it'd be quite a bit of money? It's not like it would really be... too much... Right?

Whatever. You didn't care right now. You just wanted to rest - you couldn't continue to fucking walk. 

At least you weren't really TOO far from your destination - you had been walking for quite a bit of hours today, and today was supposed to be your final day of walking (well, final day of traveling really - you'd probably still have to walk around and find places to sleep until you could find a place to live once you get to your destination). 

Once the cab finally got there, you quickly hopped in and sat back and relaxed for the ride.

You told the cab driver where you needed to go before you quickly began to doze off...

 

You jolted awake.

Where were you?

What are you doing?

What the fuck is happening?

You blinked your eyes open, quickly taking in your surroundings.

Oh. Right.

You're in a cab.

"We're here," The cab driver said.

You took a look at the price on the meter.

Oh thank god - it wasn't too bad.

You checked your phone real fast - it had been three hours since you fell asleep?!

How was the price only $108? 

Whatever, you weren't gonna question it.

You quickly grabbed about $120 dollars from your bag, handing it to the cab driver (the extra money was for a tip). 

You thanked them profusely for the ride, quickly hopping out and waving goodbye to your friendly cab driver. 

Turning around, you looked in front of you - here was your final destination.

Now it was time to find somewhere to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYO!  
> so sorry this took so long omg.  
> a lot of shit has happened!  
> (also btw i googled a buncha stuff about cab rides, and the most concrete thing i found was $36 per hour sooo. yeah. oh well if im wrong about this shit)  
> ANYWAYS  
> im so sorry if any of this is unbelievable. i just quickly finished this up now, and yeahh,,,  
> i had writers block for awhile 'cause i felt the café stuff was too shitty but i had already written so much that i didnt wanna delete it
> 
> i hope it's not too shitty!!
> 
> ANYWAYS. 
> 
> next chapter should finally bring in some undertale characters. im sorry this has mostly been... more... book like than fanfiction like. i just really love plot if u havent noticed. but!!! yeah. it should start getting more fanfic-y soon. 
> 
> but yeah. 
> 
> (some stuff about my life skip if u please)  
> so i started up school again and yeah thats been crazy, i made a ton of new friends and yeah. i kinda re-came out to my parents about a week ago and they're not accepting of the whole agender thing (to quote my mom, "it's silly) so yeah that was another thing that gave me writers block 'cause i was too upset about that.
> 
> but... besides that, life has been okay but rather busy.
> 
> i really need to focus on getting my shit done this year, but i promise i will try my best to continue this fic!! updates are gonna be a lot slower tho. im sorry. it's just. i write so much in my chapters. and because of that it takes so much longer when i dont have the time to write.
> 
> but yeah. i promise i will try my hardest! forgive me if my updates continue to be inconsistent. 
> 
> ANYYWAYS
> 
> I HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND WHATNOT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT!!! YOUR COMMENTS FUEL ME OK I SWEAR TO GOD THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY AND MAKE ME WANNA WRITE SO YEAH
> 
> I LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOU FOR STICKIN WITH THIS IF YOU HAVE SO FAR AND YEAH
> 
> YOU ROCK
> 
> BYEE!! <3
> 
> COME YELL AT ME ON MY TUMBLR IM TOO LAZY AND TIRED TO EMBED IT RN BUT MY TUMBLR IS SANSYTHESKELETON-AO3
> 
> sansytheskeleton-ao3.tumblr.com
> 
> copy and paste that if u must
> 
> OKAY BYE


	12. What Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time flies by, shit happens, and then some more shit happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOO!! ENJOY THIS PIECE OF FUCKERY!

You weren't gonna lie - once you were finally at your destination, you had no idea what to do with yourself.

For the past three days, your entire journey was leading up to you getting here - it felt like three years, no less three days... and now that you were here, you just felt... nothingness? Exhaustion? ...Confusion?

You didn't know what you were going to do now. 

You knew you needed to find somewhere to stay. You knew you obviously wouldn't be able to easily find an apartment to live in (although, apartments were much more likely to be cheaper around here since the majority of people who lived here were monsters), but you also knew you wouldn't be able to find a job unless you had somewhere to live.

Well, goddamnit.

You began walking.

...Five seconds later you needed to stop.

Holy fucking shit, your legs were so fucking _sore!_

You leaned over, placing your hands on your knees as you tried not to die.

The pain of the last few days was finally catching up to you - well, more than it already had.

Maybe the actual goodish sleep caused you to realize how much pain you were actually in?

Goddamn.

Oh well.

Well, you couldn't rest here. You had to keep moving. You _had_ to find somewhere to stay.

So, doing your best to shake it off, you forced yourself to keep walking.

Well.

Limping.

Honestly, that small nap felt like an entire day. It felt weird to think that the café incident only happened a few hours ago.

Oh well.

Speaking of the café, you remembered two things.

One, to check your phone.

And two... you were hungry again.

Godfuckingdamnit.

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose and squeezing your eyes shut for a few moments, pausing your walking.

God, why did the human body have to be so frustrating?

Shaking your head, you opened your eyes and continued walking, dropping your hand down to your backpack strap to hold onto it.

You were tired, hungry, uncomfortable, and in a shit load of pain.

Ugh.

Keeping your bag on your arm as you walked, you turned it slightly to the front of your chest as you unzipped it and reached inside, rummaging around for the little bit of food you had in there.

You pulled out a bag of chips. Not much, but... man were you thankful to have these goddamn chips. 

You zipped your bag back up and readjusted it on your shoulders, and then opened the chips and ate as you walked.

There weren't too many people out, but the few who were were monsters and didn't seem to care that you were just casually walking with your hand in a bag of chips.

Honestly, you already felt better here. People were less judgmental. Monsters are great.

 

You continued to walk. At one point you finished your chips and found a trash can to throw the empty bag in, and even though it was small it was enough to satisfy you for the time being.

(Afterwards you stopped to check your phone real quick, and after shooting Sage a quick message you put it away again).

You didn't really know where you were going at this point, honestly. You were at your destination - you weren't using your map, so you were just kind of... wandering. You were just keeping your eyes out for somewhere to stay.

A few hours had passed since you had eaten those chips, and right now you were trying to ignore your stomach growling, yet again.

Instead you were more focused on the fact that you needed water, and the fact that you felt slimy as fuck.

You... really needed a shower. Or you at least needed to change your damn clothes. You probably reeked.

So, making that your next mission, you kept your eyes peeled for any kind of store or gym where there'd be a bathroom for you to wash up in. 

To your luck, after awhile of searching, you finally found a gym. And, it was open. 

Thank god and all that is fucking holy, you'd actually be able to _shower_.

Walking into the gym, you just hoped to god you wouldn't need some kind of membership or some shit. All you wanted was to shower, not to work out or some bullshit.

There was a monster lady sitting at the front desk with, the best as you could describe them, grandma glasses on her... face...? 

She kind of reminded you of your old headmaster from school.

You tried to act casual and walk right past her, hoping she wouldn't notice, but to no avail. 

"Excuse me, do you have a pass?" The monster lady asked, and you closed your eyes, cringing.

You turned around and gave her a fake smile.

"Oh, um, no," You said in a light, airy tone, "I was just hoping I could use the bathroom here, is that all right? I was just ah... on my way home, but it's still quite a bit away and I can't really wait much longer," You said, somewhat awkwardly, giving her a big smile and hoping she'd be kind enough to let you. After all, aren't monsters really nice?

She raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical.

Your smile faltered a little but you held it as best you could, moving your body in an anxious way that you realized was a good thing, and you continued to do so to make it look as if you really had to pee.

"Okay," you sighed in relief, "but that way is where the locker rooms are. Over there," she pointed to your right, "is where the regular bathrooms are." 

You looked over, grin fading as you gave up the hope for showering.

Straining a smile and a head nod at her, you quickly thanked her as you made your way over to the stupid goddamn "regular" bathrooms.

You hesitated for a moment as you stood in front of them, wishing you could just die.

There were only signs for Men and Women restrooms. 

For a monster place, why the hell would they only have men and women? Ugh. 

Why couldn't there be a sign right in-between that said something like "other" or "gender neutral"? Why must it only be male or female?

Ugh. Whatever.

Knowing that you didn't truly pass well enough, you begrudgingly walked into the women's restroom. 

You walked over to the mirror and looked at yourself and sighed.

You were a mess.

Mood having dropped drastically, your movements were slow as you reached into your bag to shuffle up some things, hopefully making it easier to get what you needed out of it later.

Your eyes were drooping - whether it be from exhaustion or sadness, the world may never know.

You reluctantly put your bag on the floor - you knew it was gross, but... you couldn't do everything at once.

You washed your hands, relishing in the feel of the warm water and soap between your fingers, nearly forgetting just how nice it felt to be clean.

From how fatigued you had been lately, you hadn't been able to really notice how shitty you felt.

Now that you were at your destination and your adrenaline wasn't at its highest, you were finally starting to feel more of the effects this journey has had on you other than exhaustion - you felt fucking disgusting.

You wished you could shower.

Sighing in defeat, you brought your hands up to your face, wiping water all around and pushing back your hair slightly with it.

Already feeling slightly better, you grabbed your bag and went into the handicap stall.

Reaching into your bag, you pulled out a couple pairs of clothes.

Taking off your gray jacket, you placed it over your backpack.

You then proceeded to take off your shirt and cami beneath it, placing both items on top of the jacket.

Out of the clean clothes you were currently holding between your legs, you grabbed a cami and pulled it over your head, folding it up like always. The least you could do is still try to make yourself feel good, right?

Reaching into your bag again, you pulled out your deodorant and quickly used it, then capped it and put it away.

You then proceeded to pull on another t-shirt, as well as a different jacket. 

You kicked off your shoes and stood on them (so you wouldn't touch the gross bathroom floor), and then shimmied out of your pants and underwear to replace them with a clean pair of each. Dreading the thought of having to take off your socks in such a filthy place, you forced yourself to take a deep breath and did it anyway, very quickly changing into clean socks.

Slipping your shoes back on, you shoved your dirty clothes back in your backpack. 

Leaving the stall, you stood in front of the mirror again.

You felt a billion times better.

You still looked and felt somewhat gross, but it was _so_ much better. You hadn't realized just how disgusting you really felt.

Oh well - you felt better now, and you just hoped that sometime soon you'd be able to shower.

Speaking of which, you felt that your hair was too gross and greasy. So, reaching into your bag again, you felt around until you pulled out your gray beanie.

Pulling it on and adjusting it so a little bit of hair was showing and the back of the beanie was drooping, you finally felt satisfied with yourself.

Staring into the mirror, you wracked your brain to try and remember if you could do anything else to make yourself feel cleaner right now...

Oh! 

You reached into your bag, yet again, and pulled out your toothbrush and toothpaste.

Taking the toothbrush out of the plastic bag, you turned on the sink water and ran it under it, before grabbing the tube of toothpaste and squeezing some out onto the brush.

You put the tube down as you brushed your teeth, getting the paste in as many places as you could. Besides, who knew when you'd get a chance to clean up again?

You took your time; brushing, spitting, and repeating, relishing in the feel of it. After a couple of minutes you finally decided you were done and, after rinsing out your mouth as best you could, you rinsed off the toothbrush and put it back in the plastic bag. You threw that and the toothpaste back in your backpack, before zipping it up and hefting it up onto your shoulders.

Looking at yourself in the mirror again, you appreciated the time you had to yourself to actually take care of yourself. It felt good.

Sadly, though, you remembered that this was a public bathroom and it would be a little suspicious if you were in here for too long, so you finally decided to leave.

You avoided looking at the lady at the front desk, fearing her reaction to your change of clothes and the amount of time you had spent in the bathroom.

You left as fast as you could, and with renewed energy, continued on your hunt for somewhere to stay.

You walked around for awhile, aimlessly wandering as you were deep in thought.

After quite some time, you noticed something - there was a 'We're Hiring' sign on the window of some business.

Excited, you quickly ran over to the place, hoping to god you'd be able to get a quick job here.

You laughed when you saw what the place was; it was a fucking coffee shop! Oh, the irony. It was so cliche, wasn't it? 

You imagined running into the love of your life here, just like it happened in so many fanfictions'.

Shaking your head fondly, you actually began to read the sign.

Right now the shop was closing up, but they had flyers outside for the job.

Taking one, you walked away as you began reading it; you had no real experience in any kind of coffee shop, but... it couldn't be too hard, right?

You skimmed the expectations and requirements, and then decided you'd look at it later - preferably tomorrow, when the shop was actually open.

Shoving the flyer in your backpack, you began thinking about how it could go down.

 

Time passed. Darkness came, and you found yourself curled up in another cold, dark alley as you fought off nightmares. 

You found yourself scrolling through the hundreds of text messages from your family that night.

Most of the texts were pleading; begging you to come back, saying that they loved you.

Others were angry; yelling at you for what you said in the note, mad that you left them.

No one said not to come back, though.

You began crying. You cried so much and so hard that you couldn't breathe, you cried so much you couldn't even see your screen anymore and had to stop reading.

You ended up passing out at one point, and you wondered whether or not you passed out from dehydration of all the tears, or just exhaustion. Probably both.

All too soon, the sun was up and you jolted awake from another nightmare.

The days began to mesh together; you were in the city you wanted to be, but you had no idea what to do or where to go. You went back to that coffee shop the day after you found the flyer and scheduled an appointment for an interview, which was the next day after that.

They didn't accept you for multiple reasons; one, you had no experience, and two (probably the main reason), you didn't actually put down a real address.

So, as sad as you were, you understood and you left, leaving the area entirely (you had begun sleeping in the same spot for the few nights), and continuing your journey of searching for a job and somewhere to live.

You stopped multiple times to get food and charge your phone, use the bathroom and whatnot... you tried not to change as much as possible, however. You didn't want to make all of your clothes dirty already - you didn't know when you'd get to wash them next.

After you had been rejected from the job, that night (once you found a new dark, secluded area to sleep) you found yourself crying again and drinking out of one of your bottles of alcohol. You had been really hoping to get that job, hoping it would be the start of a new life, but no.

Life wasn't that easy, was it?

Every night you had nightmares. Some were flashbacks, others were a jumbled mess between real and not. They were crazy and intense, bright flashes of pictures jumping from place to place in your brain. It always left you more tired than you were before you had fallen asleep, so you eventually began trying not to sleep at all, or stay up till the point of passing out so you wouldn't dream. 

You slowly began texting Sage less and less, only ending up texting him when he texted you wondering if you were okay.

Even then, you'd barely give him a response. 

He was worried, and he even expressed as much, but you told him not to worry about it and that you'd text him more once you found a place to settle. 

A week has gone by now and you're much deeper into the city, and you finished your first bottle of vodka. You were an utter mess, and it was no wonder nobody had wanted to employ you. 

The texts from your family become less and less, and after two weeks have gone by and no response from you, they finally stopped texting and calling, except for the occasional 'I miss you'. 

It hurt, to say the least, but you were at least glad they weren't draining your phone battery anymore. 

You also got a few concerned texts from Alphys, which you continued to ignore, seeing as you didn't have the motivation in you to respond.

Eventually you stopped texting all of your others friends as well. The only person you talked to was Sage, and even only a little bit.

You were on your own, and you had to get used to that. You distanced yourself so you could get better at surviving on your own, with no moral support.

 

It's now been three weeks since you arrived in this city, and you've just finished off the last of your vodka.

It's still daylight, and with a quick check to your phone, it's only about 5pm. 

You had basically given up on looking for jobs the past few days, instead staying curled up in your alley, only leaving occasionally to buy more food. You ended up stashing a bunch of snacks in your backpack so you wouldn't have to leave as much.

So right now, eyes bloodshot with exhaustion and your drunken haze, you were sitting up against the wall of some random building, squished between two giant trash cans. You tried to think if there was a specific name for these certain trash cans, but it only hurt your head so you decided to stop.

Sad and angry and wanting more alcohol, you haphazardly shoved your blanket into your backpack, and threw the empty bottle of vodka into the trash can... thing.

Grabbing your bag, you stumbled out of the alley and tried to look around, but your vision was too blurry. Just _how much_ had you drank? 

Squinting, you tried to figure out what way you wanted to go. You honestly had no idea where to go - you wanted more alcohol, but you had no idea how to get any. You weren't twenty one, so you couldn't legally buy any for yourself... gah, if only those goons who sold you the alcohol in the first place were here!

You were just in the middle of pulling your phone out of your pocket so you could try and google what to do, when a voice froze you to the spot.

"N-Neb, is that you?" A small, high pitched voice asked in surprise.

You very slowly let go of your phone in your pocket, quickly rubbed your eyes, and turned around to face the voice.

Alphys.

Alphys was standing there, and... holding hands with a tall, blue, angry fish looking-like monster.

You felt jealousy bubble up in your pit before the shock of seeing Alphys crushed it, as well as the fact you knew it wasn't your place to be jealous.

Trying your best to seem sober and not as depressed as you were feeling, you quickly plastered a smile on your face and waved at the two of them.

"Oh, Alphys! What are you doing here?" You made no move to walk towards her.

Faster than you could blink, Alphys ripped away from the other monster's grip and ran straight towards you, barreling you in a hug.

"Oh my god Neb I thought you were dead you hadn't been answering and I was so worried I'm so glad you're okay! Where have you been?! Why haven't you been answering my texts?! Oh my god!!" She squeezed you tightly, her grip the only thing keeping you from toppling right over.

You were utterly confused - why was she so worried? Over the past couple of weeks you began to feel worthless, like nothing mattered... like you didn't matter. That nobody could love you. So why was Alphys so happy to see you?

Guilt twisted in your gut as you felt, rather than heard, Alphys sniffling into your shoulder. She began shaking as she tried to hold back sobs. 

Ever so slowly, you carefully wrapped your arms around her, awkwardly maneuvering to do so, seeing as you still had a backpack on your shoulders.

Sobering up a little, you put your head on Alphys's shoulder and began shaking a little bit yourself, dread and guilt and all sorts of horrible feelings twisting themselves in your stomach as you felt your eyes burn with unshed tears.

You heard footsteps walking towards the two of you, and only then did Alphys pull away from you.

She wiped her eyes, sniffling pathetically as she looked at you.

You wiped your eyes too, giving her a wobbly smile.

The monster from before protectively wrapped an arm around Alphys's shoulder, intimidatingly glaring at you. What was their problem?

You felt yourself shrinking back at their intense gaze, looking at the ground.

"Um," Your voice cracked. You tried to meet Alphys's eyes. "Hey," You shrugged helplessly.

Alphys let out a noise that sounded like a mix between a sob and a cry of relief.

"H-hey," She said back.

You scratched the back of your neck. Ignoring the monster with her, you began talking again. "So uh, whatcha doing all the way out here?" You asked slightly nervously.

"Me?! What are _you_ doing out here!! I-I live h-here, with U-Undyne," She blushed a little, gesturing to the monster next to her.

Oh. So this was the famous Undyne. She gave a grunt of acknowledgement, still watching you warily.

"You live here...?" The question died on your tongue, your voice so quiet and strung out with emotion.

She seemed to pick up on the unspoken question and answered, "Y-yeah, I do. I-I was in that library that o-one day because our f-friend was here on a school trip or something, and so as t-they were doing that, we all had decided to t-tag along as well, and I was looking for that particular book you found me with, and well... we began t-talking, and you were r-really nice and... you said w-we should meet up again and so I g-got a friend to give me a ride back t-the next day and... and after that it-it just became a thing, and...yeah..." She trailed off, looking almost... guilty? You had no idea why that might be.

"Oh." Was all you could say.

She wrung her hands together anxiously.

"Alphys, can I speak to you for a moment?" The other monster, Undyne, asked roughly, gesturing to move aside to speak privately.

Alphys quickly shot you an apologetic look. "Y-yeah, of course! W-wait here for a sec, N-Neb," She said as she turned around and walked a few steps away with Undyne.

You let out a breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding.

Wait a second.

Hasn't Alphys mentioned to you before that Undyne used to be in the Royal Guard, and that she's now a police officer?

Oh...no...

No wonder she was staring into your soul the whole damn time!

Fuck!

You gotta get outta there, and fast.

Fuck fuck fuck.

You couldn't go to jail now! And even if she didn't send you to jail, you still didn't want to confront the possibility of them knowing.

Motherfucker.

You quickly glanced around, looking for a spot you could quickly run to and hide.

You very clearly couldn't go back to your alleyway, seeing as they probably knew that's where you appeared from.

Fuck!

You began to turn around, intent on walking or running as far away as you could, when a voice stopped you. Again.

"W-wait! No! Don't l-leave!" Alphys squeaked, running over to you quickly.

You squeezed your eyes shut, taking a deep breath as you curled your hands into fists as you tried to calm down.

After a moment you relaxed your hands, opened your eyes and slowly turned to face Alphys.

You smiled. "Uh, sorry... was just.. er..." Still slightly buzzed, you couldn't think of a good excuse. Instead you trailed off, shrugging slightly.

She looked back at Undyne anxiously before looking back at you.

"H-hey, um... how about you j-join us? We're on our w-way back home, a-and you could c-come have dinner with us, and w-we can t-talk about what's been going on in our lives...?" She said, but it came out slightly as a question.

You pursed your lips. The offer was... promising. You haven't been in an actual home in weeks, and you haven't had an actual dinner in weeks as well... 

But what if they decided to trap you there while they called the cops on you for your drinking, or worse yet, somehow get you sent back to your family?

You take a small step back. 

"Um, you know, I uh... I actually um, I have this thing, and I gotta.. uh... do that... now..." Wow, great fucking excuse.

You jumped violently when she put a hand on your arm. She quickly pulled away, apologizing.

You waved her off, anxiety building up in your chest and head as you thought about actually going with her.

"P-please, Neb...?" She pleaded gently, and it took all of your self-control to not just start sobbing right then and there.

Slowly, you nodded. Curse your crush on her, and also missing her friendship... gah, why did you have to be so emotional? Why couldn't you just detach yourself from all emotions?

It was worth it to see the smile light up her face.

You felt some of your anxiety ease.

 

So, you found yourself walking with Alphys and Undyne, trying your best not to stumble and not to look or sound as exhausted as you are. At one point you realized you probably smell horribly, and slowly curled in on yourself insecurely. 

Alphys made small talk with you, you trying your best to answer her. She told you a little bit about Undyne, who spoke up a few times (she was rather loud) and told you a few things as well. 

You smiled and nodded at them, clinging desperately to your backpack.

After what felt like forever, you finally arrived at their small, but cute, apartment.

You relished in the feel of being inside an actual home for the first time in what felt like ages - they had pictures and knickknacks littering the house, and it just felt so... homey. Nice. Safe. Warm.

Undyne led you to the dining room, while Alphys went to check on the dinner... it smelled like.. pasta?

Well, you sure did love yourself some pasta.

Undyne offered to take your bag for you but you politely (or at least you think you did) declined, deciding to instead continue to cling desperately to it as you sat down in one of the chairs at their table. It was fairly large, for just the two of them, you found yourself thinking... maybe they had people over a lot? They did mention 'others'.

To your surprise, Undyne didn't leave to go check on Alphys. Instead, she sat right down in the seat across the table from you.

"So," She started, and your stomach twisted into knots. "What's the deal with you not answering my girlfriend for WEEKS? She was worried sick about you!" Undyne hissed at you, trying to keep her voice down so Alphys wouldn't hear her.

You gulped, looking away anxiously.

"I uh... I was busy," It wasn't necessarily a lie, was it?

"Too busy to answer Alphys?!" Undyne looked like she wanted to snap your neck, and, honestly, you had a feeling she would if it would not have major consequences (with the government, AND with her girlfriend). That thought made you sad - you had no hope of ever being with Alphys. That crush is as good as dead.

"I wasn't really answering anyone," You mumbled, staring at the lines in the table. You began tracing a pattern. "I uh, didn't have much access to outlets. I tried not to use my phone a lot so it wouldn't die," You silently kick yourself; that was probably a bit too much information.

Undyne stares at you for a moment, and you feel yourself squirm under the gaze. Man, this Undyne was a hardass, wasn't she? 

She opened her mouth to continue talking, but was cut off by Alphys's voice from the kitchen.

"U-Undyne? C-can you come h-help me with t-this?" She called out.

Undyne paused, giving you a look that seemed to scream 'this isn't over', before turning and shouting, "Yeah, one sec!" before getting up and retreating to the kitchen.

You let out a sigh of relief - or at least, for now. You were dreading having to continue talking about it.

You heard some quiet talking and the clinking of pans and whatnot, and took the time to think shit over.

Or at least, you tried.

You found yourself being unable to think due to a MASSIVE headache.

You groaned, putting your head in your hands. Damn alcohol. 

You rubbed your eyes, yawning a bit as you tried to stay conscious. The headache, combined with the warmth of this home was making you extremely tired... you felt as if... you could just... fall... asleep... right... here...

"N-Neb?" Alphys's voice startled you, making you jump up so fast that you somehow managed to smack your elbow against the table. Groaning in pain, you began rubbing your elbow as you squinted up at Alphys - it was beginning to hurt to keep your eyes open. "O-oh! Sorry!" Alphys said, her face filling with guilt.

You shook your head, waving her off. "No, no, it's," you yawned loudly, "it's okay," You tried to reassure her, but your words were muffled and you could feel your brain shutting down - you could pass out at any moment now.

"N-Neb? A-are you okay?" Alphys asked quietly, and as your eyes drooped you could hear her slowly walk towards you.

"Yeah, I'm," Another yawn, "I'm fi-iinnee..." Your yawning was becoming excessive, and it was getting harder to speak. God, why did you have to be so tired? You rubbed your eyes roughly, hoping the pain would keep you awake. It did, a little bit. You tried your hardest to keep your eyes fully open as you looked at Alphys. "The food ready?" You asked as you forced yourself not to continue yawning.

Alphys glanced back at Undyne nervously, and they both glanced at you. You squirmed uncomfortably, feeling rather... helpless? You didn't know exactly how you felt, but you knew that their worried glances were about you. It just... it felt... weird. 

"U-um, yeah," Alphys said, looking back at you. "I-I hope you like p-pasta," Alphys smiled slightly.

You smiled lazily back, giving a thumbs up. "Hell yeah I do. Pasta is like, my life. That and chicken sandwiches," you said, feeling a pang of sadness in your chest - you haven't had any of your favorite foods in nearly a month now... All you've been getting by on is a shit ton of bread, snacks, and the occasional soup when you decided to actually go into any sort of café. That and a bunch of water bottles, coffee, and your alcohol... goddamnit, you really wished you could drink right now.

"T-that's great! U-Undyne, c-could you go and g-get that?" Alphys turned to Undyne, and you could tell by the silence that they were having one of those private conversations you remembered your parents having when it regarded you - somehow they managed to speak with their eyes. It always confused you. 

"Sure thing, babe," Undyne said, leaving the room to get the food as Alphys blushed brightly.

After she took a moment to compose herself, she slowly pulled out a chair and sat down near you.

"S-so..." She said anxiously, looking around the room and you knew that this wasn't going to be a fun conversation.

You decided to feign innocence. "Yeah?" You asked, as if you had no idea what she was about to bring up.

"I-I heard about your um... disappearance," Alphys told you, finally looking at you in the eyes.

You cringed slightly - you more expected her to bring up the thing about you being MIA for awhile, not... that...

"Oh." You said intelligently. 

"Y-yeah..." Alphys looked like she felt bad for bringing this up, but you couldn't figure out why. It was a valid thing to bring up, especially considering you hadn't even talked to her since you ran away. "It was um. On the news. I-I wanted to contact your family, but, um... I didn't think that'd be a good i-idea..." She looked away for a moment. 

"Wait, hold up, it was on the news?!" You asked incredulously, feeling yourself waking up a bit more. "That.. what?? What did it say exactly?"

"It um... It said that a 'barely adult' daughter ran away, not even bothering to finish the school year, and uh... that you left some kind of note that basically s-said 'f you' to your f-family... it also m-mentioned how one of the r-reasons you left was b-because you were mad at your p-parents for not accepting monsters..." Alphys explained, seeming a little happy towards the end of it.

You scoffed. "Wow, that's just... that's just fantastic. It sounds like they almost made ME the bad guy here. The irrational teen, or some shit," You shook your head, feeling anger bubble up in your gut. God, the nerve of some people?

"Wait. How long ago was I on the news? Did they show a picture of me? Like, was it saying that if someone saw me to tell the police so I can be sent home or what? Because it's not like I've been stopped yet..." you mutter, trying to remember everything that's happened in your haze the past few weeks. Some shit went down, but you were never stopped because you had been on the fucking news.

"N-no, it just um... it was just telling the story. No reward or anything about sending you back home," Alphys told you.

You crossed your arms, slumping back in your chair. Well this was definitely some _news_ to you.

You laughed bitterly to yourself in your head about that pun.

"Okay, here's the food, hot and ready to be eaten! YEAH!" Undyne came swooping in, placing two plates on the table; one in front of you and one in front of Alphys. She then quickly went back to the kitchen and brought out another plate, setting it on the table. Before she sat down, however, she left once more and brought back parmesan cheese.

Oh, hell yes!

Undyne sat down as you quickly reached for the parmesan cheese, sprinkling on a shit ton of that stuff on your pasta and sauce (which happened to be spaghetti).

Placing the cheese back on the table, you quickly thanked the two of them and began eating.

As they talked quietly to themselves for a moment, you tried your hardest not to eat the food like a wild animal, but... god, you were so hungry! You've barely had any food for about a month, and out of what you HAVE had, it hasn't been very filling! Or hot, for that matter.

You basically inhaled the entire plate of spaghetti in the few minutes Undyne and Alphys were talking as they slowly ate their food, and pushed your plate away from you. You wanted more, but you felt it would be rude to ask. 

Undyne and Alphys paused in their talking when they heard the plate moving along the table, and turned and gaped at you.

You felt a little embarrassed, wiping your mouth quickly as you smiled sheepishly at them.

"Sheesh, punk! You ate that hella fast! Papyrus would be proud of you. Want some more?" Undyne asked.

You didn't know who Papyrus was, but you quickly nodded at the offer for more food. Normally you would decline, even if you were still hungry, but right now... god, you needed more!

You were about to protest when Undyne got up and grabbed your plate, but it was too late because she had already left the room.

"S-so... Undyne and I were talking," Alphys started, looking at you. Oh god... "I-I assume you d-don't have a place to live r-right now, correct?" She asked you.

You thought about it. Should you lie? Say you're fine so you could leave?

But... "Uh, yeah, that's right. I'm fine, though, if you're worried about that," You reassure quickly, not wanting her to see you as a lost cause.

"U-uh, well. Y-yes, but, um... W-we were wondering if you w-wanted to s-stay here for awhile? I-I don't like the thought of you s-sleeping on the g-ground somewhere..:" Alphys trailed off, looking at you with a mix of nerves and hope.

Oh boy. You were just getting used to being independent, though. You didn't want anyone's help. You had to do this yourself.

But... why did you find yourself desperately wanting to say yes?

"I-I uh... I don't know, Alphys. Um," You said anxiously as Undyne suddenly appears again, and you nodded at her in thanks when she set the plate of food in front of you.

"I don't wanna impose," You said, shifting anxiously. What if they got annoyed by you and kicked you out?

"Y-you wouldn't be!" Alphys was quick to reassure you, but you still felt unease in the pit of your stomach. 

"We have a guest room and everything! NGAH, it's settled! You're staying with us!" Undyne roared as she shoved the rest of her spaghetti in her mouth, finishing it all within seconds.

You gaped slightly. Were these two serious? What kind of person just lets a random person stay in their home for god knows how long?! Well, you weren't necessarily a _random person_ , but still!

"Guys, really, it's no trouble... I don'f need... to.. stay..." You trailed off as Undyne jumped up and ran out of the room, presumably to the guest room...? Man, she was nuts! And very straight-to-the-point, it seems.

You sent a pleading glance to Alphys. "Alphys, really, I appreciate this but... you don't have to do this. I'm fine on my own. I swear," You tried to reason pathetically, and even to your own ears you could hear just how badly you were lying.

She smiled at you. "I know, Neb. B-but what's the h-harm of s-staying somewhere s-safe for a few nights?" 

You looked away, feeling guilt crawl up your back, wrapping around your neck in a suffocating feeling...

Why were they doing this for you? You didn't deserve this! You ran away, you got what you had coming. They didn't have to do this... You shouldn't stay... You...

"N-Neb?" Alphys asked quietly, and you flinched slightly. 

"Y-yeah?" You asked hoarsely. It was then you realized there were tears on your face.

"Are you... okay?" She asked slowly, giving you a... pitiful? look.

You felt like you should be angry at that, because you don't need pity, but it was immediately squashed by the sadness and guilt all swirling around in your gut.

"Y-yeah. I-I'm good," You said, wiping your eyes and laughing pathetically. "I swear," You said with as much reassurance as possible.

Alphys looked torn between saying something or just staying quiet. Her choice was made, however, when Undyne suddenly appeared again.

"NGAAH!! The room is set and ready to go, mothafucka!" Undyne said loudly, sitting back down in her seat.

"Okay... thank you," You smiled at her, despite the unease you felt. 

When Alphys started to finish up her food, you remembered that you had another plate of food in front of you. Seeing it as a suitable distraction, you began eating again to avoid talking - except this time you didn't eat nearly as fast as before.

While you were eating, both Undyne and Alphys had gotten up to wash their dishes, and just as they came back in the room you were eating your last bite.

Undyne went to grab it for you, but you pulled it away before standing up and waving her off, telling her you could wash it yourself.

So, backpack still on your back, you made your way to the kitchen and began cleaning the plate.

You rolled up your sleeves slightly, wincing at the dull pain that came with it. A few nights ago when you were trying to save the last bit of alcohol you had left, you needed something to do so... you got out that pencil sharpener, and, well, went to town. And because you were outside, you didn't think it'd be wise to quite literally pull your pants down to cut your thighs. So, therefore, you settled for your wrists.

The cuts were currently starting to scab over, but they usually got jostled as you walked or pushed up your sleeves, like now, and would start bleeding again.

Making sure that Undyne or Alphys weren't coming in and seeing your wrists, you got to work on scrubbing the sauce off the plate.

You scrubbed it clean, put soap on it and scrubbed again, and then rinsed it off.

You dozed off for a bit, deep in thought, and only once the water began to scald your hands did you snap back to reality.

Turning off the facet, you put the plate on the rack next to the sink.

Grabbing some paper towels, you dried off your hands, threw it in the trash can, and then rolled your sleeves back down.

Upon rejoining Alphys and Undyne, their faces lit up.

"N-Neb! S-so, we were thinking..." She looked at you hopefully, "we're n-not doing anything tonight... We thought m-maybe you'd w-wanna watch a movie marathon with us?" Alphys finished, begging you with her eyes to say yes.

"Oh," You said, "Um. Yeah, sure.. why not?" The thought of watching movies... let alone anything... was a weird thought to you.

And the fact that it was a weird thought to you was even weirder, considering the geek you've always been. 

It's just... you haven't had time to watch... well, anything in the past month. You've been completely isolated from people and whatnot, besides Sage, and it just... it felt too... normal? After everything that had happened the past month...

You shuddered, not wanting to think about it.

But still. It was just a little surprising to think of watching a movie. And sitting on a couch. And being in a home. And sleeping in an actual bed, in an actual warm place. Just a little while ago you were very, very buzzed and in need of more alcohol... you were sleeping in alleyways for christ's sakes! Between _garbage_ dumps! And now you were in an actual home, which felt so normal yet foreign to you?

You didn't know how to feel.

Alphys squealed. "Y-yes! S-so I was thinking we could watch..." She began listing a bunch of animes and you didn't understand any of it but still listened anyway.

After a solid five minutes of suggestions from Alphys, she finally finished and declared that she was gonna get started on getting food and snacks ready for the binge watch.

"Hey, uh, do you mind if I use your shower real quick...? You prolly don't wanna have to sit next to me all night while I probably smell like twenty trash cans combined with all kinds of animal shit, heh," You attempt at a joke, but realize that it's probably true and you're honestly really hoping that they say you can use their shower.

Alphys is quick to tell you that 'yes, of course you can!' and points you to where the bathroom is, and lets you know that there's a closet in the bathroom where towels are.

You thank her, and still holding onto your backpack, slip down the hall and into the bathroom.

Shutting and locking the door behind you, you lean against it and sigh heavily.

This social interaction is already starting to weigh down on you, and you had no idea how you were gonna survive the night.

You unzipped your backpack, digging around for something that you've worn the least (you're worn everything at least once or twice, and you never had gotten a chance to clean any of it), and then placed it on the bathroom counter.

Locating and opening the closet door, you pulled out a beat up looking towel (not wanting to use any of their nicer looking ones), and set it on the counter next to your clothes.

You stared at the shower for a moment, feeling slightly intimidated. 

You haven't had a chance to shower once this entire month. You washed up, put soap in as many places as you could, and changed your clothes when absolutely necessary, but... you haven't been able to get fully clean in quite awhile. You were happy, but you were also kind of... scared? Sad? Maybe it was because you knew this was going to be the only time you're gonna get this for another long time.

Shaking your head, you quickly begin to pull off your clothes, only wincing slightly at the cuts on your arms, and bruises that are littered across your body...

You decided to keep your socks on (you really didn't want to stand in a shower you've never been in before, _barefoot_ ). 

Turning on the shower, you quickly stepped in and felt immediately relaxed at the feel of the water running down you...

Gah, if only you could stay like this forever...

 

-

"I'm tellin' ya, the punk was drunk, Alphs," Undyne said to Alphys as she helped her get food and whatnot together. "She was out of it, and looked... well, not too happy to see someone she recognized. Like, afterwards she did, but... you know? She's not in a good place right now, babe," Undyne pulled some Oreos and chips out of the cabinet.

Alphys was silent for a moment as she pulled stuff out the fridge. "W-well... I-I mean, yeah, s-she's probably n-not in the b-best p-place right now... B-but! I-I don't t-think she'd stoop to getting drunk so early in the day, or even at all! I-I mean, I didn't know her _that_ well, but I'd like to think I knew her well enough. And... s-she did almost leave while we were t-talking, but it w-was probably 'cause she was scared! N-not 'cause she didn't wanna see me! ...I hope..." Alphys trailed off, biting her lip as she put some soda and empty cups on a tray.

"I could see it how she was acting, babe. I'm sorry, but I'm 99.9% sure that she was drunk. Just... look, I don't know the kid, at all, besides what you've told me... so I can't help her. You just gotta ask her about it, like, I don't know, tomorrow? When I'm at work? And I know you don't like asking people personal questions outta the blue, but I think you gotta. And I would stay with you to help, but I don't think she'd appreciate my presence," Undyne placed some of the snacks she had gathered onto the tray, and then proceeded to pick it up and carry it to the living room, setting it down on the coffee table. 

Alphys trailed after her, paper plates in hand (which she put on the coffee table as well).

Alphys wrung her hands as she responded. "Y-yeah, I guess... I-I will... I-I just wish I didn't have to. L-like, I wish s-she was okay and all... But of course I know that depression and other mental illnesses aren't easy to cure and can't just be gone with a simple wish and positive attitude and I know she probably would wish she didn't have to deal with it either and all that but I'm just s-saying!" Alphys was quick to reassure, looking quite guilty. "Um," she looked away, "But yeah. I'll... I'll talk to her. Promise," Alphys said as she set the oven to 425°F. (She was going to pop in a thin pizza).

Undyne smiled brightly at Alphys, briskly walking over to her and planting a big kiss on her cheek, successfully making her blush and stutter some more.

 

-

The warm water felt _so good_ on you as you stood in the shower.

You had already washed your hair (successfully making it look like you bled purple) and body, and now you were just reveling in the feel of water on you.

It felt a little weird to be wearing your socks in the shower, however, but that was fine. It wasn't nearly as bad as some of the feelings you've experienced this past month...

The water started to get cooler so you figured that was your cue to get out.

Turning off the shower, you pulled back the curtain and reached towards the counter, grabbing the towel. You vigorously dried your hair before quickly drying the rest of your body. 

Throwing the towel on the floor by the tub, you stepped onto it before pulling off your soaked socks, setting them on the towel. 

You then proceeded to pull on your clothes, and your two bracelets.

And then last but not least, you pulled your beanie over your face before adjusting it on your head.

Walking over to the mirror, you looked at yourself and felt _so good_. You haven't been this clean in awhile.

Bending down, you reached into your bag and pulled out your toothbrush and toothpaste. You then quickly brushed your teeth before putting it all back in your bag.

Gathering your dirty clothes, you shoved them back in your bag.

You looked over at the towel and socks... oh boy, what were you gonna do with it?

Leaving your backpack on the floor, you walked back over and grabbed the socks (careful not to step anywhere that was wet, lest you ruin the dry socks you had just put on), and then held it over the tub and wrung them out.

After you got them as dry as they were going to be, you... ugh. It'd be rude to just leave them in the bathroom, so you sucked it up and placed them in your bag. Hopefully it wouldn't ruin everything in there.

Grabbing the towel, you looked around the bathroom quickly. Spotting a hamper, you threw it in there.

After washing your hands (because you had just wrung out those dirty socks), you grabbed your backpack and made your way back to the living room, where Alphys and Undyne were, looking at movies.

"O-oh, Neb!" Alphys exclaimed excitedly, "We were just picking out some of the b-best movies we have! W-wanna take a look? You can have f-first pick," Alphys offered as she smiled brightly at you.

You smiled awkwardly back, slowly making your way over, skimming the movies. (You tried your hardest to ignore your stomach growling at the sight of all the delicious looking junk food...). "Uhh," You said, absentmindedly pointing at one, "that one. 'Looks interesting," You shrugged, plopping down on the floor in front of the couch.

Undyne and Alphys exchanged a look that you didn't see.

"O-okay! G-great pick! U-Undyne," Alphys began, but was interrupted by a beeping noise coming from the kitchen. She laughed slightly, "Uh, could you pop this in? I was just gonna, uh, go check on the pizza..." She said, looking away.

"Sure thing babe," Undyne said, grabbing the movie and kissing Alphys on the cheek before going to put it in. Alphys blushed deeply, before stumbling up off the couch herself and she made her way to the kitchen.

 

The night progressed. Alphys brought out the pizza, which you may or may not have scarfed down as many slices as you could (after Alphys and Undyne had eaten some), and you all watched a bunch of anime together.

You didn't really care for it, but you did find yourself getting immersed into some of them as you ate the snacks they had set out (god, it felt so good to be eating so much at once again!). 

Throughout the night you stayed on the floor in front of the couch, and at one point you put your backpack on your lap so you could hold it as you leaned against the couch. Alphys and Undyne cuddled on the couch, and you all laughed and talked together about whatever movie it was that you were watching.

You found yourself actually... having fun. Something you haven't done in quite awhile. A few times you thought about how weird it felt to be there, and how you were sad it'd be over soon... you also couldn't help but think you didn't deserve this, that you should be back out on the cold, filthy streets.

But you did your best to shove those thoughts down, even if for only tonight. It's been so long since you've enjoyed yourself properly, and you were trying your hardest not to let yourself ruin it with your depressing thoughts.

You even thought of old (even though they _were_ offensive) memes to try and get yourself to shut up. (Such as 'that's so edgy' and 'I'm triggered!1!1!1').

At one point in the night, you heard Alphys and Undyne begin to yawn... a lot. You checked your phone and it was only midnight.

You felt... bad. They were obviously tired but they were still watching the movie anyway, fighting to stay awake. And here you were, not even tired in the slightest (well, tired in the sense that you were ready to fall asleep any time soon).

The movie finally drew to a close, and Alphys sat up and stretched, yawning.

"I-I think," She yawned some more, "that's it for the night," She was literally speaking while yawning, "I'll show you to the guest room if you want, N-Neb," She finished, with another yawn. You felt Undyne shift as well, beginning to sit up as she stretched, and yawned (or more like screamed - it sounded like she was dying! Was that how you sounded when you yawn-screamed? Undyne definitely seemed more loud, however). 

"Uh, yeah, sure," You agreed, feeling slightly disappointed that the night was ending. Most of the snacks were gone, as well as the soda (which you didn't drink at all - you hated soda, so you instead got up a few times to fill your cup with water). You guys had to have watched like, 4 or 5 movies, but... you were still sad. You felt kind of guilty for feeling that way, but you couldn't help yourself. You knew as soon as you woke up in the morning that you'd be kicked out, and you'd never experience this again... as weird as it felt to be in a... normal place again, you knew you were going to miss it (despite feeling like you deserved to stay on the streets).

Undyne and Alphys led you to the guest room before bidding you goodnight, and they shut your door as they left to go to their room.

You still felt slightly jealous that they were together, but... you could tell they made each other happy. And who were you to butt into that? You were many things, but you sure as hell weren't a home-wrecker.

You looked around the small room. It was pretty empty - there was a bed and a nightstand with a lamp on it up against the far, middle wall, and on the same wall as the door there was a plain, wooden dresser, with a tv on it and a remote right beneath it. There was also a window next to the bed (which made you nervous) that was currently letting in moonlight.

To your left (which was to the left upon opening the door) there was a small, empty closet, but other than all of that... oh, and one generic picture on the wall, the room was pretty bland.

Welp.

Guess it was time to... sleep?

You laughed. Out loud. A little manically. Oh god, were you going insane?

Heh. Wouldn't be that surprising, honestly.

You slowly walked over to the bed and climbed into it, placing your backpack right next to you. You pulled the covers up and tried to get comfy, closing your eyes so you could fall asleep....

Nope. You quickly sat up, grabbed your backpack and climbed off the bed. It was just... too weird to sleep in a bed. Or a room, for that matter. God, you thought you hated sleeping in cold, dark alleyways, but... you felt like you needed to be in one to even get a wink of sleep.

Whatever.

You walked over to the corner of the room (by the closet, and on the wall where the door was) and plopped down on the floor.

Pulling out your two small blankets you had, you draped one over your legs and used the other as a makeshift pillow (which you placed on your backpack) and curled up into a ball, laying down. 

Ah, now this was _much_ better. This felt normal.

All you needed now was a bottle of alcohol and your exacto knife...

But, too bad you didn't have any alcohol left. And, you didn't think it was smart to cut when Alphys or Undyne could walk in at any moment.

Instead you just sat there, eyes wide open and burning as you stared at nothing, and you spent the night...morning...thinking.

You only were able to fall asleep when the sun finally came up, light filtering into the room and you finally passed out from exhaustion, brain too tired to even have nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYA! LONG TIME NO SEE!  
> THIS CHAPTER IS PROBABLY SUPER WEIRD AND I AM SORRY. IT IS CURRENTLY 4AM AND I HAVE SXHOOL IN TWO HOURS HAHA. KMS.
> 
> ANYWAYS I APOLOGIZE IF THIS CHAPTER SUCKS OR WHATEVER BUT HEY AT LEAST I GOT IT DONE AND I HAVENT GIVEN UP ON IT YET EVEN WITH SCHOOL AND SHIT!!
> 
> BUT UH YEAH. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
> 
> I HOPE THIS CHAPTER DOESNT SUCK TOO BAD. 
> 
> [ahem]
> 
> annnyways. yeah hi. the angst is only jUST BEGINNING. ahahaha. hahahah. fml. it's literally 4am i want to die.
> 
> anyways i hope you people enjoyed this late asf chapter, ima now go attempt to sleep and cry. thank god i dont have gym today
> 
> PLEASE COMMENT I LOVE YOUR FEEDBACK AND WHATNOT SO YEAH. ALSO SORRY IF ANYTHING'S CHOPPY OR THERE ARE ANY PLOT HOLES I DONT REMEMBER THE SHIT I WROTE FROM PREVIOUS CHAPTERS AND ALSO I USUALLY WRITE WHEN IT'S LIKE SUPER LATE AND IM EXHAUSTED (like now) SO YEAH
> 
> BUT YEAH U SHOULD TOTALLY COMMENT ANYWAYS EVEN IF THIS SUCKED
> 
> OKAY BYE ILY


	13. A New Beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You look for a job and a place to live. Also, you feel like things are slightly better. But at the same time, you still feel like shit.
> 
> Confusing, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOOOOOOOO ILL LEAVE A NOTE AT THE END BUT YEAH HEYY ENJOY THIS BYE

You woke with a start when someone gently knocked on the door before opening it.

Heart racing, it took you a moment to remember where you were - right, right, Alphys and Undyne's guest room. Right. It's okay. Breathe.

Looking up (with your hand on your chest), you saw Alphys standing there, looking slightly guilty for having scared you (she also looked somewhat surprised... probably because you were on the floor, and not the bed).

"O-oh, I-I'm sorry, a-are you okay?" Alphys asked, stuttering as she wrung her hands.

You put a hand up, took a deep breath and then nodded. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. You just scared me a bit, that's all. Nothin' to worry about," You smiled at her, sitting up slightly. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and checked the time - holy shit, was this thing right?! Your phone is telling you it's about 1:30 in the afternoon. What the fuck?! You haven't slept so long, and without nightmares, in... well... you couldn't remember. "Uh, guess I slept a lil late, huh?" You joked slightly, feeling guilt stir in the pit of your stomach for having over-stayed your time here.

You slowly scrambled to get up (despite the sleep, your head hurt like a bitch), and you shoved your blankets in your backpack.

Slinging the bag over your shoulder, you slowly walk towards Alphys. "Guess I should get goin', huh?" You were about to try to leave the room, when Alphys stopped you.

"W-wait! U-um... don't l-leave yet!" Alphys exclaimed, wringing her hands together as she looked at you. "U-um, U-Undyne is a-at work and... I-I don't know, I t-thought we could... h-hang out? Just the t-two of us? If that's o-okay?" She asked nervously, and you felt bad for causing her so much anxiety.

"Oh! Um, yeah, no, that's fine, dude. You don't gotta look so guilty," You smiled slightly at her and she relaxed slightly, smiling back, "Uh, yeah, I can stay. Don't really have much else planned..." Besides somehow finding more alcohol? Yeah...

Alphys squealed. "Yay! O-okay, u-um, well... Oh! I'll g-get out of your w-way, s-sorry," She moved quickly, giving you access to the door.

"It's all good," You said as you opened the door, stepping out, Alphys trailing behind you.

You let Alphys walk in front of you, and you silently followed behind her as she made her way to the kitchen.

"S-so..." Alphys began, and you braced yourself for the worst. You didn't even really know what could go wrong, but you've gotten so used to bracing for the worst lately... "Uh, do you want anything to eat?" She asked, and you relaxed. 

"Oh... um, no thanks," You denied nonchalantly. You were still feeling pretty full from the night before (which was weird because you remember _always_ eating from before you left), and also you usually got nauseous if you ate immediately after you woke up. 

Alphys glanced at you and you swore you saw a hint of concern, but it was gone after a moment.

"O-okay! U-uh, I already a-ate, so... um..." She looked around nervously, pursing her lips. "You w-wanna... I don't k-know... uhm.. watch a show or s-something?" She asked, looking at for a moment before glancing away again.

"Uh.. yeah, sure," You agreed, smiling warmly at Alphys, and you literally saw her visibly relax.

After quickly grabbing a cup of water, you joined Alphys out in the living room as she turned on Netflix.

Taking a seat on the floor again, you placed your backpack on your legs like you did last night, and you silently sipped at your water as Alphys scrolled through the genres. 

"U-um... do you w-wanna s-sit up h-here? It's o-okay if you don't, j-just..." Alphys asked, and you suddenly felt extremely rude.

"Oh! Um, Sorry!" You looked at her apologetically, shuffling a bit as if you were gonna get up (even thought didn't want to), "I um... I..." You couldn't think of a good excuse as to why you kept sitting on the floor. At least, one that wasn't so _depressing_. "Er..." You looked away. "I just, uh.. like... the .. floor....??" You said, but it came out more like a question. "Um! But! I'll uh, I'll sit on the couch, uh.. yeah..!" You said quickly, shuffling more before quickly standing up, sitting on the couch with your bag next to you. 

You felt extremely stiff and rigid... and, well, uncomfortable, sitting on this couch... but... for Alphys, right?

"O-oh! I-It's okay... y-you don't h-have to s-sit on the c-couch if you p-prefer the f-floor... I-I just w-wanted to m-make sure y-you were.. o-okay with i-it," Alphys stuttered a lot, and it was clear she felt bad. You suddenly felt as if you were hit with a truck full of feels; you and Alphys could really relate on the whole 'always feeling guilty' thing. 

You quickly smiled at her, putting a hand up. "No, no... it's fine, really. Uh... why don't we find a show?" You suggested, changing the topic quickly. You'd suffer on the couch for now. Besides, it's not like it was gonna last.

"Y-yeah! Okay," Alphys said loudly, quickly turning away from you to look at the screen. "U-uh... what do you w-wanna watch?" She asked, eyes still glued to the screen.

"Oh. Um," You slumped, sipping your water as you thought about it. "Uh... I mean, I'm pretty much down for anything. Comedy, sci-fi, action... okay, by anything, I only mean a few things, really," You laughed slightly, feeling the tension in your body slowly slip away as you got more used to sitting on the couch. "I don't really like romantic shows. Buuut, sad shows are okay. Except, most of them are about romance. Which is frustrating," You shook your head, "God, why is everything about romance?" You questioned bitterly to yourself.

After a beat of silence you quickly began speaking again. "Oh! Sorry, got a bit off topic there. How 'bout a comedy?" You suggested, as you tried to get more comfortable.

"S-sure! Hmm... have y-you seen The Goldbergs? It's n-new...ish...? B-but! It's really good!" Alphys exclaimed, looking towards you for a moment before turning back to the screen to look for Goldbergs.

"Oh, yeah! I've seen some of it. My..." You stopped abruptly, smile falling completely. 

"Um... N-Neb?" Alphys asked after a few moments.

"Oh, um... sorry," You said quietly, trying and failing to bring a lightness into your voice. "Just, uh... yeah. It's a good show. Seen bits and pieces," You said, trying hard not to think about the fact you've seen bits and pieces is because of your family. The reason you know the show is because of your family. 

"O-okay... w-we can w-watch something e-else, if y-you w-wa-" You cut Alphys off from her stuttering, putting a hand up and shaking your head.

"No, no, it's okay. Let's watch it, I'm down," You smiled at her.

"O-okay..." Alphys trailed off, turning to the screen again and putting on the show.

"Hey, uh, have any aleve? My head's killin' me, so," You ask after a moment of debate, watching as some crappy old videos played as a voice overlapped, saying something about the 80s.

"O-oh! U-um, y-yeah, I can get it, if you want," Alphys offered, already starting to stand up but you beat her to it.

"Nah, it's okay. Watch the show. Where is it?" You asked, slinging your bag over your shoulder. 

She eyed it for a second before looking at you. "Uh, in the kitchen. T-the upper cabinet to the left of the f-fridge," She told you, watching you for a moment before turning back to the tv.

You thanked her, turning and walking to the kitchen, cup of water still in hand.

You open the cabinet she told you to, and you saw various bottles of pills. After a bit of looking, you found some aleve... and then you found yourself wondering why monsters would need human medicine. They probably have human friends who come over sometimes, or something.

Refilling your cup of water (seeing as it was nearly empty), you took the bottle of aleve and shook two pills out into the palm of your hand. One at a time, you put the blue pills in your mouth and swallowed them down with water.

You were about to put the bottle back, but...

It wouldn't hurt to take some for the road, right?

You took six more (yikes), putting them in your hoodie pocket with your phone before going back to the living room.

You smiled at Alphys before sitting back down on the couch, backpack next to you and cup of water in hand.

You looked at the screen. You vaguely recognized this episode... or maybe they all looked the same?

Either way, you watched. 

After a few minutes you found yourself trying to contain your laughter from the show's antics - you remembered something about this all being based off real events; did that mean this stupid, hilariously embarrassing stuff happened? If so, you felt bad for those people.

After awhile you started to relax on the couch, enjoying watching the show with Alphys. It wasn't too bad.

You still felt a little uncomfortable being on a couch, but you'd survive.

You guys ended up watching about three episodes before Alphys paused it, turning and smiling warmly at you.

"S-so I take it you l-like it?" Alphys asked hopefully, and you nodded - you felt much better than you had earlier. 

"T-that's good... um..." She looked away anxiously, her smile fading. Oh god, was she about to kick you out? "S-so, I-I wanted to a-ask you s-s-something..." Alphys stuttered, wringing her hands and not meeting your eyes.

Well, it wasn't her kicking you out which was a relief... but apprehension twisted in your gut still with the threat of a question looming over your head.

"Uh... okay...? Shoot..." You said slowly, picking your cup of water up off the table to take a drink from it. You tried to imagine it was alcohol.

"W-well, y-you see..." She pursed her lips for a second, and then took a deep breath. "So basically I know things have been rough for you and all of that and how you ran away and whatnot and like it's awesome that you've made it so far and whatnot and you seem like you've been doing pretty good for living on the streets (I assume) and dealing with having run away and like...umm..." She took another breath, "the thing is... well.. U-Undyne kinda thinks that y-you were drunk when we found you yesterday? I-I mean I don't w-wanna accuse you of anything but I just figured I should ask about it and if it's true, um! I! Don't! Know! I-if you n-need like, h-help or anything I-I'm here f-for you and...! Yeah..!?" She finished, sounding distressed and confused and concerned all at once.

Oh boy. Oh shit. Oh...fuck...

"Um.." You began, looking away when she looked at you with concerned eyes. "Are you trying to ask if I've been drinking?" You decided to ask instead, because you didn't wanna accidentally say too much or answer anything she hasn't even asked or thought of.

"Mhm," She nodded her head once sharply, lips tight as she sat there nervously.

"Uh.." You pondered for a moment. Should you lie? Undyne could get you sent to jail, especially if you confess, but... if that was the case, why hasn't she already? Or maybe Alphys had asked for more time so she could confront you first? You didn't know, but you almost laughed in this serious situation because you thought about how you (used) to watch so many action and crime shows, which is making you think of all these twists in the first place. God, you're such a fucking nerd. "Well, I uh... heh, I mean, I had a drink, yeah," You decided to bend the truth a bit, and turn it into a kind of... joke? "But I haven't been like. Constantly getting drunk or something, if that's what you think. I just uh, I found some alcohol and I knew it was probably a bad idea, but man, I was having a shitty day so... I figured I'd have some. But I'm not an alcoholic or anything like that," You nearly scoffed at yourself with that last sentence. "I just let my guard down, and you guys happened to find me, sooo... yeah. You're not gonna call the cops on me, right?" You laughed, saying it as a joke even though it was a serious concern of yours. You carefully leaned forward to place your cup of water on the coffee table.

"O-of course not!" Alphys was quick to reassure, and you both finally made eye contact. "U-um, that's a r-relief, though. U-Undyne thought y-you might have been a-abusing alcohol or s-something... I'm g-glad you're n-not," She smiled at you.

"Yeah, no, totally not..," You said, rubbing your arm slightly. 

Before you could continue speaking, Alphys picked up again. "S-so I know I offered t-that you could stay h-here...." Oh god, she really was kicking you out?! "U-um, but... Y-you c-can, s-still... I just want you to know t-that you don't have to leave so s-soon. Y-you had said you were gonna leave earlier, a-and, well... you can stay here as long as you need until you can g-get a place. Which I a-assume you don't have one," She told you.

Oh. Your anxiety eased slightly, but... you couldn't help but feel that even IF you stayed, she or Undyne would eventually get sick of you and just kick you out instead of letting you stay until you get back up on your feet.

"Oh, Alphys, um... it's okay, I'll be fine. I seriously don't wanna intrude and whatever... I'll find a place...soon...?" You tried to reassure her, but you couldn't even convince yourself at this point.

She wrung her hands together. "Y-you wouldn't be intruding! A-and, besides, it'd be n-nice catching up..." She trailed off slightly.

You pursed your lips, thinking about it. As much as you felt you deserved to continue living how you had been, and as much as you felt like you almost... missed sleeping in alleyways... you couldn't help but think about staying. Like, what could be the harm? Nothing. There'd be no harm in staying, unlike all the harm that could happen on the streets..that have happened...

You shuddered slightly.

"You know what? Why the hell not. Sure. Uh, thank you... so much. Seriously, Alphys, I don't know what woulda happened without you," Well, you could make some guesses...

Alphys blushed, pushing her glasses up on her face slightly. You felt a twinge of nostalgia and sadness run through your entire body, making you shudder. You remembered all the times she did that back when you guys were just starting to talk... the nervous, but cute habit she had... it made you like her more. Oh god, you knew you shouldn't be thinking this, but... man, you wished she wasn't dating Undyne. You almost forgot how much you had liked her, but being with her again right now... jeez, you just... couldn't articulate how much you had missed her, and how much you actually like her. How did this crush develop so deeply? When did that even happen? Shaking your head slightly, you tried to tune in what Alphys was saying to you.

"-so, l-like... we can totally have a bunch of m-movie marathons together! It's gonna be a-awesome, and... ah! I'm s-so glad you're gonna stay!" Alphys squealed, losing herself in the idea of binge watching television with you. "N-Neb? Y-you okay there? You l-look kinda... upset... or something..." Alphys trailed off, studying your face for a bit.

You snapped out of your thoughts, quickly looking up at Alphys. You felt your face heat up - you were embarrassed and felt guilty for having those previous thoughts. You looked away and laughed nervously. "Y-yeah! I'm good, sorry, I just uh..." You smiled sheepishly at Alphys, rubbing the back of your neck, "spaced out for a sec there. Total brain fart moment, sorry...heh," you finished, fidgeting a bit.

"I-it's okay!" Alphys reassured you quickly.

You continued to smile and laugh nervously; your hand dropped back down to your lap.

"Uh, so... um... what now, I guess? Should I start looking for places to move? And like a job, of course...? I don't wanna have to burden you guys for long, s-so I just think like, like um... it'd be good to.. uh.. start looking as soon as possible, I guess..." Man, you were just on fire with words today.

"Oh, um..." Alphys started slowly, sounding kind of... disappointed? "Yeah, s-sure. O-only if you want to, t-though. You're n-not gonna be a b-burden so there's really no r-rush," She told you. 

"Yeah... still, though. Don't wanna take this for granted, yaknow? Can't be a lazy shit bag and all that jazz," You laughed slightly.

"Okay... um, well... for now, you don't gotta worry too much. D-do you wanna m-maybe, I don't know, um... you can like, unpack your stuff in the g-guest room? You're probably g-gonna still be here awhile regardless, a-and... may as well get c-comfortable, right?" Alphys suggested.

"Oh..." You... didn't know how to feel. You kinda.. well, you REALLY didn't wanna unpack your stuff. Like, your backpack has been your anchor this past month. It's been the thing you've held onto for dear life and it's kept you safe. Or at least, that's how you felt. It held your few belongings and... you would just feel wrong not holding it in someway, let alone taking it all out to put in separate places... you just didn't think you could do it. "Yeah, um. That's okay, I'll be fine living out of my bag for the time being... er.." you trailed off slightly, trying to think of a topic change. "Uh, do you have a laptop I could borrow? My phone's cracked, and, speaking of which, it needs to be charged, so... I don't have anything else to use for researching right now," You asked, hoping that she would say yes so you could distract yourself with something and be alone for awhile.

"Oh, um. Y-yeah, I-I have a laptop you could b-borrow... uh, do you n-need it now? No worries if y-yes, just, um! Wondering! Because w-we can do other things right n-now, i-if-if you want, of course. We don't have t-to, just... a suggestion..." Alphys trailed off.

You were starting to get really uncomfortable sitting on this couch.

"Oh, uh. I figured I could start looking at some stuff now, just so like... I can have a starting point, yaknow? Is that okay? Do you mind?" You asked, second guessing yourself - you should've just agreed to waiting and doing it later...

"...oh, okay..! That's okay! O-of course..." She scrambled to stand up. "I'll go g-grab my laptop for you... one s-sec...!" She quickly walked away, and you felt a pang of guilt.

Had you upset her? Maybe it would have been best to hang out with her for the time being, and then later that night do research...? Oh god, you honestly couldn't tell anymore when you were being even slightly rude. Like, you've always been a pretty 'rude' person (or so people have said - you just thought you were being blunt and truthful, honestly), and most of the time you could realize if you were being what someone might perceive as rude, but... now you honestly had no idea. You chalked it up to not having socialized with anyone the past month, but even then it's not like you were THAT great at being able to tell beforehand. 

Well, you figured you were probably rude. Because why else would you feel so guilty?

Trying to shrug it off, you carefully slid onto the floor, leaning against the couch as you placed your backpack next to you.

You felt much better on the floor.

A few minutes later Alphys returned to the living room, carrying a mac laptop with stickers covering it, and a charger. Upon further inspection, it seemed the stickers were from many different animes.

Alphys seemed to pause for a moment when she saw you on the floor, but said nothing as she continued walking and plugged the charger into an outlet by the couch. She handed you the laptop and cord, so you promptly plugged it in.

"Thanks, Alphys," you started, following her with your eyes as she began picking up random things off the coffee table.

"Of course," She said, kinda quietly. 

She picked up your cup of water. "A-are you still drinking this?" She asked you. (She was still being quiet. You began to worry - had you genuinely upset her that badly?).

"Uh, yeah," You said, and she quickly came over and handed it to you before turning and leaving the room to put away the few things that had been on the coffee table.

Trying your hardest not to think much of her odd behavior, you were sad to see that she didn't have chrome on here. Or, if she did, it just wasn't on the guest side. You took a sip of water before placing it on the hardwood floor next to you.

Scrunching up your nose in disgust, you opened up safari. Figuring you were going to be using this for awhile to come, you quickly googled chrome and began to download it. You didn't like safari - you much preferred chrome (besides, you could customize chrome and you almost always chose something to do with space). 

As google chrome was downloading, you groaned quietly as your stomach began rumbling. Really, now? You were about to start googling for hours! Why'd you have to go and get hungry now?

Sighing irritatedly, you forced yourself to shove down the feelings of hunger and opened up chrome.

Stretching your arms in front of you (getting a good crack from your fingers), you quickly began to get to work.

 

While Alphys was doing god knows what, you spent the next few hours on the floor (bad choice - your ass was currently so numb from pain that it felt like you were floating) researching local jobs and affordable apartments. 

So far you had managed to find a decent amount of available jobs, but barely anywhere affordable to live - or, well, nice enough.

Not that you deserved somewhere nice, but you honestly didn't feel like living somewhere that could be infested with god knows what. You'd feel better sleeping in one of your alleyways than some of the places you found.

You found a nice, one bedroom apartment that wasn't too far from Alphys and Undyne, but it was a _tad_ over your budget. And by a tad, you meant a couple _hundred_.

In the past month, you'd had to spend quite a bit, lest you starve and die. You still had a hefty amount of money left, but renting an apartment would quickly diminish that money - especially if you didn't have an income.

The rent for the small, niceish apartment was a little over five hundred dollars. And hell, that was cheap! You knew it was cheap. But there's no way you could afford that. 

And looking at the available jobs you found, albeit plenty, you didn't think any of them would be good enough for you to keep up an income.

Well, you weren't any good at math, so you _assumed_ that.

Either way, you knew you'd have to either stay with Alphys and Undyne or live on the streets again for awhile (with a job) before you'd be able to get that cheap ass apartment.

The jobs available were mostly fast food places, and some things with kids or animals... so it wouldn't pay much. And the things that would pay more? Yeah, you didn't have the skill and probably wouldn't even be given a chance to start.

You groaned, placing your head in your hand. Why did being an adult have to be so hard?

Feeling a migraine start to form, you figured another couple pills of aleve wouldn't hurt. So, taking two pills out of your pocket, you grabbed your water and quickly gulped them both down (separately).

Placing the water down next to you again, you squinted back at the screen.

You wanted to throw the laptop, but you knew you couldn't since it was Alphys's.

Sighing, you forced yourself to open your eyes more to look at the screen - sure, it hurt, but squinting was worse. (Unfortunately, you found yourself instinctively squinting again after only a few moments). 

You wanted to be done with this shit, seeing as it's already about 5:30pm, but you also didn't wanna stop without any potential things to set appointments with. Because if you didn't, what was the point of these last couple hours? You wanted to leave as soon as possible, so you had to get your shit together quickly. You _couldn't_ burden Alphys and Undyne. You _have_ to leave.

You figured your best bet was the apartment that was about 500 bucks a month. You pulled up the tab, found an email address, and after creating a new email (for business purposes, obviously), you sent an email saying that you were interested in renting. 

After you had sent it, though, you slowly began freaking out - what if you worded it wrong? You've never done anything like that! What if you become a total laughing stalk?! Oh god, you should've googled what to say, or had someone proof read it... something... fuck, what have you done?!

Forcing yourself to breathe, you tried to reason with yourself. There was no way you could have fucked it up that badly. The worst that could happen is that you don't get the apartment, that's all. Right? Oh boy... you closed your eyes, breathing in and out slowly a couple times to try and calm down. Man, you felt like an idiot.

You still weren't done. It'd be wrong to check out this apartment without also having a potential job, so therefore you had to send another email... ugh, you hated this! You preferred the fuckin' streets over this! At least, at this point, it gave you less anxiety. 

Pulling up another tab, you figured your best bet would be pet-sitting and whatnot - because that meant you didn't have to interact with other humans or monsters for long. You'd have to meet them, blah blah blah, then they leave... and you get to hang with an animal for a little while. Easy peasy. (Well, you knew it'd be harder than that, but... it was worth it to have little human or monster interaction). 

Besides, the payment wasn't too bad... It's good for a quick buck. You might need to get another job as well, but... that's okay. You'll figure it out.

...Hopefully.

You found another email address, and after spending another 20 minutes forming an email, agonizing over what you wrote... you finally sent it. You hoped to god it was okay.

Trying very, very hard not to panic about it, you closed the laptop and placed it down next to you.

You had just taken a sip of water and began to stand and stretch when the front door opened. (It sounded like it was kicked open, however).

"I'm home!" Came Undyne's booming voice as she made her way into the living room. She greeted you with a head nod, and you smiled sheepishly back, and you have no idea why you did it... but you raised your cup to her in greeting. Why the fuck did you do that??? You had no idea. It just felt. . . right.... to do. 

Motherfucker.

Well, at least Undyne didn't seem to really notice or care.

She left the room and went to find Alphys, presumably, and you took the time to sigh and hit yourself in the face.

You were so fucking stressed.

Rubbing your ass, seeing as it was numbed from sitting on the floor for so long, you took one more sip of water before placing the cup on the coffee table.

As you listened to the mumbled voices coming from down the hall, you took the time to stretch - managing to scream-yawn in the process.

"AaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH," A noise close to that escaped your mouth as your arms were above your head, eyes closed as you felt your SOUL leaving your BODY. Or, at least, that's what it felt like.

Once you had finished, you looked up just in time to see two people come stumbling into the living room.

"What the fuck was that?! Are you okay?!" Undyne screamed, looking around the room rapidly before her eyes fell on you - you, who was not hurt in any way.

Alphys looked spooked, and she was glancing around too.

Oh boy.

"Oh... um... shit, sorry," You said, feeling embarrassment crawl up your neck. You forgot that _most people_ didn't yawn/stretch like that. (You got it from your family). You began chuckling slightly, rubbing your neck as they looked at you expectantly. "That's how I yawn when I'm stretching. Very sorry about that. I may or may not have forgotten that people don't generally do that. Sorry," You explained quickly, wanting to be swallowed whole.

There was a beat of silence before laughter took over the room. You stood still in confusion.

Undyne hunched over, placing her hands on her knees as she laughed. "Oh my god!" She roared, still laughing. "You fucking NERD! I thought somebody was being MURDERED! Oh my god!" She dissolved into a fit of laughter, and even Alphys was laughing a little, covering her snout with her hand.

Heat rose up to your cheeks, and you tried not to smile from embarrassment (you failed). Sputtering slightly, you tried to think of something to say. "I-I'm...! Oh, fuck off!" You laughed loudly, feeling very embarrassed due to their continued laughter. They laughed harder when you yelled. Exasperated, you threw your hands up in the air and then sat down on the couch, crossing your arms. "It was just a yawn, okay?!" You sighed pathetically, putting your head in your hands as you laughed in despair.

"Ahahaha, oh my gooodddd, hoooo boy! That was hilarious!" Undyne roared, out of breath. Alphys was still giggling a bit besides her.

"You both suck." You said matter of factly, sulking. (This only made Undyne laugh harder, border-lining insanity type laughter).

As they continued to laugh, you stayed seated until they calmed down.

Once they did, you asked Undyne about her day and she launched into story-mode, telling you just about everything that happened.

After learning about everything that went on in her day, you guys ended up deciding to have another movie night. 

All the snacks and drinks were gathered and you all were, yet again, found with Alphys and Undyne on the couch snuggling, and you sitting on the floor with your back against the couch.

At one point awhile later you felt yourself feeling down again, and trying your hardest to force it down, you took two more pills out of your pocket (leaving you with two left) and downed them, before hoarding a bunch of the snacks and chowing down on them as you three watched the movie.

Honestly, despite a few times you felt yourself slipping... you couldn't deny that you had fun.

You couldn't deny that you could see this happening again, and that it would become a daily thing or something.

It felt... nice. It felt homey. 

Yesterday that feeling scared you, when you first came in their house.

It still did, but... you caught yourself thinking a few times that you could get used to this. You could live like this.

It made you feel happy... which then made you feel guilty a few times, but you shoved it down. (You're really good at shoving shit down).

When the night was done and they headed off to bed, you found yourself back in the guest room.

You still didn't want to sleep on the bed, but this time you decided to pull off the comforter on the bed and bring it to the floor, making a little nest of sorts.

Remembering to plug your phone in this time, you eventually fell asleep in your little nest, using your backpack as a pillow again and covering yourself with one of the small blankets you had.

You still had nightmares that night, but... at least you were able to sleep through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay.  
> i havent updated in over 2 months.  
> IM SO SORRY!  
> life has been really stressful and shit and iDK IT'S JUST HARD TO WRITE LATELY. also ive been focusing a lot on drawing - i really wanna be able to create an undertale animation, but it's gonna be a long time before im able to make anything good.
> 
> anyhow.
> 
> im very sorry if any of this was weird? again, it's been over two months so like. i cant remember a lot of what ive written in the past. i kept rereading this chapter every time i began writing again so i could at least know what's happening within this chap, but like?? 
> 
> i started this fic over the summer. i can barely remember some of the details i know i added. so im really sorry if i mess anything up and please feel free to point it out to me! i'll fix it as soon as possible.
> 
> anyways, though, i do hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.
> 
> i think i might try and aim for shorter chapters so i can update quicker? idk, im not sure what im gonna do.
> 
> but im fucking determined and i refuse to give up on this fic. if i didnt give up all those months ago when i first got writers block on here, im not giving up now.
> 
> im gonna see this damn thing til the end, even if it becomes fucking shit damnit  
> (╬⓪益⓪) 
> 
> if ANYTHING i have to get to the relationship with sans pfft
> 
> sorry that it's tAKING SO LONG
> 
> im just not entirely sure how ima introduce him.
> 
> ANYWAYS THIS IS LONG SO IMA GO NOW, PLS COMMENT AND STUFF LIKE THAT I REALLY REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOYED IVE BEEN TRYING REALLY HARD TO KEEP THIS GOING!! <3
> 
> (also let me know if any formatting is weird - i write on my phone a lot so that's why there might just be dashes for time skips and stuff like that. and who knows what else - i very rarely go back and check over my chapters simply because theyre always so goddamn long xD and i dont wanna get embarrassed and delete it because i'll think it sucks. yaknow?)


	14. Snas and Papaya AKA somanyfuckingpunskms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You _finally_ meet the skelebros. There are so many shitty puns in this and I literally hate myself so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S ABOUT FUCKIG TIME I INTRODUCE THESE FUCKERS. GODDAMN. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS SHIT, ALSO IM SORRY FOR ALL THE STUPID PUNS OMG

You slowly stirred, feeling yourself beginning to wake up. Groaning a bit, you tried to roll over and fall back asleep, but doing that only made you wake up more.

"Ughhh," You groaned pathetically as you forced yourself to sit up slightly, blinking your eyes open sleepily.

After yawning loudly and stretching, you squinted your eyes open, looking around a bit.

It was the next day - there was sunlight filling the room. That was... surprising. You usually woke up during the night.

At the very least, you haven't gotten that much sleep consecutively in a very long time.

You reached over to where your phone was plugged into the wall near you, and pulled your phone off the charger.

It was... 11?! You.. you didn't go to sleep very late last night.... how the hell did you sleep so long?!

It felt good, but...?! You haven't gotten proper sleep like that in over a month!

If there had been any leftover grogginess, it completely vanished now.

You felt... refreshed.

Well, as refreshed as one who had just slept on a floor can be. (Then again, with blankets! You had been sleeping on concrete for the past month now, so this had to be an upgrade).

Sitting up a bit more (you were slouching, but less than you had been previously), you listened for a moment to see if anyone was awake.

After straining your ears a bit you finally picked up on the faint sound of talking, and figured Alphys and Undyne were hanging out in the kitchen or living room.

You turned to your backpack, unzipping it.

Immediately, your face twisted in disgust and you gagged - shit, you pretty much forgot about the wet socks you shoved in there!

Damnit.

Groaning, you knew you'd have to take everything out. You had to wash all of your clothes as it was, but... now you'd have to let your bag air out.

You tried to remember what Alphys and Undyne's apartment looked like. There was the front door, with a little hallway that opened up into the living room/kitchen area (which was only slightly blocked off with some walls, but not completely blocked). Down the hall past the kitchen were the bedrooms and the bathroom.

Where was their washer and dryer?

You know it wasn't in the bathroom... had you missed something?

You figured there had to be a door or a closet somewhere with it in there. Unless they didn't have one? Some apartments didn't. All the ones you had lived in did, but your sister's apartment didn't have them in the rooms - they were downstairs for all residents to use. (Which you found quite annoying).

Shoving the thought of your sister and old homes out of your mind, you forced yourself to get up.

Leaving the mess of blankets on the floor, you shoved your phone in your pocket and zipped your backpack before grabbing it and leaving the room quietly.

Alphys and Undyne's voices were more prominent once you stepped out in the hall, closing the door behind you. They were indeed in the living room.

Peering down the hall, you sighed in relief; there was another door.

Quickly shuffling towards it, you opened it to find a... small, but spacious enough room (for laundry, of course).

Glancing out in the hall to make sure they hadn't heard you, you shut the door behind you and went over to the washer and dryer.

You opened both and were pleased to see they didn't have any clothes in them.

You wondered for a moment if they'd get mad at you for washing your clothes.

Rationally thinking, they most likely wouldn't. Hell, they'd be glad if you did because it meant you were starting to think of the place as somewhere you're staying long enough to wash your clothes in.

The only problem was, you couldn't help a pang of guilt as you considered washing your clothes - especially without asking.

This was their home. Their washer and dryer; their money (for the soap, the color catchers, and the bill). You'd be wasting their money.

Oh! 

A perfect idea formed in your head. (Or at least, you thought it was perfect). You'd just leave money on the lid of the washer or dryer! That way you wouldn't feel guilty for using their stuff - you'd just pay for it!

Smiling to yourself at the thought, you quickly began to load up the washer, keeping the least dirty clothes that also hadn't been touched by the wet socks. (You needed to shower as well, and you didn't want to have to wait to dry the clothes).

Throwing in a packet of soap and a color catcher, you closed the lid of the washer.

You dug around in your backpack until you found your wallet. You placed a twenty on top of the dryer. 

Was that enough? Would that cover everything?

You weren't entirely sure. As it was, you've never had a place of your own. You don't actually know much about the 'real' world - your parents paid the bill, paid for the food... they did everything. You just lived with them. You were also too busy wrapped up in fandoms and being sad your entire teenage life that you never really bothered to find out about real life stuff - you didn't actually think you'd live to see it, if you were completely honest.

You slapped another twenty on the dryer.

Forty dollars had to be plenty. Right?

You shoved your wallet back in your bag.

Holding onto the semi-clean clothes, you left the utility room and quietly made your way to the bathroom.

So far, you had still gone unnoticed. (You also could now hear a TV show playing).

Placing the clothes on the counter, you turned to the closet and pulled out a towel (another ratty one - again, you didn't wanna use any of the nicer looking ones).

Leaving your backpack unzipped so it could air out, you turned to get ready to step in the shower.

Shit.

You didn't think this through, you just realized.

The whole reason your backpack smelled and you had to do laundry... was because of wet socks... and those socks... were wet... because.. you showered.. with. them. on.

Welp.

Fuck.

You _really_ did not want to shower sock-less.

But what were you gonna do with more wet socks? You couldn't run another load until you had more dirty clothes.

You groaned, closing your eyes.

You figured you could just... ring 'em out and then put them somewhere to dry in the guest room until you could wash them. Would that be fine? Could you do that?

Yeah... you had to. 

There was no way in hell you were showering barefoot.

The simple thought of it made you shudder.

So, after takin' a shit and washing your hands (and leaving your phone on the counter), you promptly started the shower, and after stripping and waiting for it to warm up, you quickly stepped in and began to shower (with your socks on).

You reveled in the warmth of the shower yet again, and you washed your hair and body as thoroughly as you could, almost as if it was the last shower you might ever had.

Lately you've been feeling like Dean Winchester.

You chuckled to yourself at the thought. Luckily for you, you weren't dealing with demons and shit. Nor did you have as shitty a childhood as he, but hey, you could relate to the whole 'not-knowing-when-your-next-good-meal-would-be' and appreciating all the small things that seemed normal to others.

When you were done, you grabbed the towel and dried off, before throwing the towel on the floor and stepping out of the shower, making sure to step on the towel as to not get the floor wet with your dripping socks.

Cringing, you peeled them off.

Trying hard not to focus on it, you set them aside and quickly grabbed your clean socks and slipped them on before anything else.

Then, you pulled on the rest of your clothes before you rung out the wet socks to the best of your abilities.

Washing your hands afterwards, of course, you picked up the towel and threw it in the dirty hamper. You then grabbed your phone off of the counter and put it in your pocket.

You groaned.

Looking in the mirror, you hated seeing your head and hair exposed. You wanted... needed your beanie to cover it up, but unfortunately for you, you only had one and it was currently in the wash.

You really should invest in some more beanies.

Spending awhile messing with your hair and drying it and trying to make it look as nice as possible, you finally gave up and just put your hood up, covering your hair as best as you could.

Hopefully Alphys and Undyne wouldn't question it (like people have in the past).

Finally, you stepped out of the bathroom, taking your bag and socks with you.

Going back to the guest room, you found a spot to let your socks dry (somewhere out of sight from someone who might step in for a few minutes, but not shoved somewhere where they wouldn't be able to dry).

You hesitated on leaving your backpack, however.

You needed to let it air out so it wouldn't stay stinky forever.

But... you didn't wanna leave it.

You couldn't.

You had to always have it... it felt wrong to not.

Forcing down the feeling, you made yourself leave the bag opened so it could air out, and then you left the room and went back to the utility (laundry) room.

Your clothes were done in the wash, so you quickly switched them to the dryer, doing what was necessary for it.

You checked the time. It was nearly noon now.

You finally decided you'd go greet Alphys and Undyne.

Leaving the utility room, you went down the hallway (hesitating slightly by the guest room - you really wanted to have your backpack with you. Instead, you shoved your hands in your pockets for comfort), and into the kitchen/living area where Alphys and Undyne were.

When they spotted you, the room was immediately filled with; "O-oh, h-hey, Neb!" "Mornin' punk!"

"Heya," you waved slightly at them before shoving your hand back in your pocket. "Wassup?" You slurred your question, not fully pronouncing the 't'.

"O-oh, nothing!" Alphys said as you walked in the room more. "We didn't have w-work today, 'c-cause you know... it's S-Saturday and all, s-so we're just watching some T-TV," Alphys finished as you peered to look at the screen, plopping down on the floor in front of the couch.

"Cool cool," You nodded at her words.

"How'd you s-sleep?" She asked.

"Pretty good, actually. And you guys?" You inquired as you absentmindedly watched what was playing on the TV.

They both said something about sleeping good as well.

You guys ended up falling quiet and watching TV for a little while, until suddenly your stomach growled.

After a few minutes of considering, you made your decision.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna go out and grab something to eat somewhere. Want me to bring anything back?" You asked, starting to get up as you looked down at them.

They glanced at each other.

"We could just come with ya, punk," Undyne suggested, to which you shook your head.

"Nah, you guys can stay here and enjoy your show. I figured I'd go out and get some fresh air. As well as eat something, considering I'm hungry," You said. As an afterthought, you added; "And don't worry, I'll leave my stuff here. 'Promise I'm not ditching ya," you finished.

They glanced at each other yet again. You squinted at them.

"A-alright, if you're s-sure, Neb," Alphys said, looking up at you.

"Yup." You quipped, nodding your head once sharply. "Anything you two want?"

When they glanced at each other again, you nearly screamed in frustration - you hated couples and their fuckin'... communicating just by looking at each other. Motherfuckers.

"Nah, we're good," Undyne told you.

"Cool. See ya. I'll be back... whenever. My phone's charged, so just... text me if ya need me," You told them, saluting as you left the room after they nodded.

Going back to the guest room you quickly grabbed your wallet before heading out the door and walking to wherever was close by with food.

 

After walking for a bit, you found a small diner.

You bit your lip nervously, slowing down a bit.

You've always hated talking to people and having to order things... it meant asking for something. You _hated_ having to ask for things. You just... felt bad. Even if it _was_ their job.

This past month you've had to talk to some people when you were buying food.

But those people were gas station workers. They didn't give a fuck - they dealt with people all the time. You went in, grabbed your shit, paid for it and left.

It gave you some anxiety, but you could handle it.

But a diner?

You have to go in, they ask how many people you have with you... they then take you to a seat and you have to just. sit there. and browse menus until you know what you want, and then wait even longer until they come back. Then, you have to order exactly what you want as they write it down, and then eventually they come back with your food and then you eat it and they come by and ask how it is and sometimes there's small talk and there's just so much talking involved with diners and restaurants of any kind and-

You forced yourself to take a deep breath.

Shaking your whole body a bit as if to shake off the nerves, a habit you've done for many years, you took many deep breaths and sighs as you tried to calm down.

You could do this.

You wanted some actual food - no more gas station food.

At least, you were starving and honestly didn't feel like finding somewhere else. Besides, you could smell the food from where you were standing, and your stomach was grumbling even more.

As you walked in, you repeated how it would go down in your head many times - they ask, you say 'just me' or 'it's just me today', they lead you to a table and you say thanks... so on so forth. You kept repeating it over and over until you knew exactly what phrases you would need to and might have to say.

"Welcome, how many are with you today?" A nice-sounding woman asked you.

"Just me, thanks," you said a bit rigidly, mentally stabbing yourself because you went slightly off track of what you had practiced in your head.

"Alright. Right this way," The lady gestured for you to follow her and you did, almost tripping out of anxiousness a few times.

You tried to take note of your surroundings - there was a mix of humans and monsters in the place. Some were already eating, and some seemed to be waiting.

The lady sat you at a two-person table (because what place only has a table for one person?) and you thanked her as she left.

You looked through the menu despite already knowing what you'd probably end up getting (despite it being the first meal of your day).

Yep. You knew exactly what you wanted.

You considered going on your phone while you waited for the waitress to come back, but you were too worried of being caught off guard so instead sat there practicing what you'd say when she came back.

Eventually she came back and asked if you would like anything to drink.

"Um, yes, and I also know what I want to order as well," you said, mad that you had to go off script. However, it was dumb of you to not remember they usually ask first what you want to drink.

After a pause, you continued. "Um.. I'd like a water with lemons if you have them, and, uh, as for my meal I'll take the um mozzarella sticks," You said anxiously, stumbling over a few of your words.

As she wrote that down you mentally kicked yourself. You practiced it over and over - how do you always manage to mess this shit up?

She nodded as she wrote down your order. "Will that be all?" She asked sweetly.

"Yep," you gave her a big, fake smile, nodding before turning to look back at the table.

She soon departed afterwards, and you sighed.

Realistically speaking, anyone else would have said you didn't do anything bad or even weird seeming at all, but to you your few mess ups and going off of what you had practiced made you want to die.

You were so fucking anxious. You needed to know exactly what was going to happen, what was going to be said, and what you'd say in response. If you didn't, you just became a fumbling mess of a human and it would result in frustrated tears due to not being able to fucking _speak_.

 _God,_ why the hell were you so bad at speaking?!

You hated it! You fumble and stumble over your words constantly. You try to speak smoothly, really you do, but... you always fuck up and you always beat yourself up for it afterwards. And then people would think you're crazy when you get so quick to tears for seemingly no reason - and you wanted to scream and yell about how no, you weren't crying because you're an emotional crybaby, you're just crying tears of frustration due to not being able to speak! Goddamnit!

You squeezed your eyes shut, placing your elbows on the table as you held your head in your hands. 

You seriously hated yourself.

Groaning quietly to yourself, you forced yourself to stop thinking and instead focused on the noises around you.

It was all a pleasant rumble of conversations amongst the building, people eating and chatting happily with their families and friends. It was a warm atmosphere, and it was relaxing.

Suddenly, a loud shout sounded through the air, disrupting the calming atmosphere and making you look up and towards the angry yelling.

There was an angry, big man, who was seemingly drunk, shouting at a young human woman who was standing next to a seemingly young monster, whose features seemed feminine (in human standards).

"Ya fuckin'... ya fuckin' faggots!" The angry man shouted at the poor quivering girls, "This is fuckin' disgusting! How could ya let this shit happen?!" He whirled around, glaring at the workers who began to notice the disruption and were beginning to go over there. "Firs', firs'," He was getting angrier by the second, slurring his words. "Th' fags get their fuckin'... fuckin' rights to fuck each other 'n shit! Then there's tha fuckin' ... people fuckin' creatures! That's seemin'ly allowed! Which is fuckin' disgustin' in and of i'self, goddamn i's practically like fuckin' furries 'n shit! Bu'... but now THIS shit?! 'S a fuckin'... fag furry couple! Thas what i' is! Disgus'in' shit, fuck," The man kept swearing, and you noticed some families gasping and covering their children's ears.

The workers were trying to placate him so they could escort him out of there, but he was having none of it.

He continued to spew shit about humans fucking animals and faggots and it all being disgusting and inhumane and he just can't believe the world has come to this shit.

The poor couple was just standing there, terrified as the man screamed and screamed. They didn't deserve this.

You felt yourself getting angry.

Like, _really_ angry.

You felt it spread from your chest to your arms to your fingertips, and it was reaching the top of your head, giving you a kind of high feeling. You could practically see white, and oh man, were you _pissed._

Without your consent, you felt your body moving to get up out of your seat.

"Hey, dickhead!" You shouted, still not allowing yourself to do this. But it was too late, it happened, and you were _angry_ and you couldn't fucking _STOP_ it! Your anxiety was no match for your anger.

The man whirled around, stumbling a bit as he squinted and then glared at you. "Ya talkin' to me?!" He huffed, puffing his chest out a bit.

"Hell yeah I am," you said with venom, getting closer to him. "And I'd suggest you stop fucking talking, you ignorant bastard," You spat, glaring up at him. Sure, you may be four feet and eleven inches tall, and he was probably like six foot, but that wasn't stopping you from crossing your arms and glaring at him as if he wasn't as tall as he was.

"Listen bitch, I ain't talkin' to ya-" He began, but you cut him off.

"Oh, aren't you though? I'm gay as hell and I'm not gonna sit here and listen to your _shit_ ," You punctuated every last word, already feeling regret creep up your neck but your anger forced it down. The man gave you a disgusted look.

"So you're a faggot, eh? Go figures, slut. I bet you're a monsta' fucker as well," He had completely turned away from the monster-human couple now, and you gave them a small nod to leave. They quickly mouthed their thank yous and scurried off.

You heard a faint whimper somewhere off behind you, and then footsteps. You chose to ignore it.

"So what if I was? With how shitty you are, you probably have _no one_. Maybe you're just bitter that people of different species can find love, huh? Pure, consensual love. You're just a salty bitch who likes to take his anger out on happy people," you spat your insults, feeling the adrenaline pumping faster through your body as your whole body began to shake. "Now don't make me fucking tell you again. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. Here. You. Ignorant. Bastard." You punctuated each word with an intimidating step forward, arms still crossed as you glared daggers at him.

He took a step towards you and seemed ready to actually fight, to which you felt panic rising in your throat - you couldn't fight him! This was all for show! You were hoping he'd back down, you're not strong enough for this, shit shit shit-

"hey pal, i'd suggest you listen to 'em, unless you'd like to have a bad time." A voice said from behind you, and you jumped in surprise.

Spinning around, you came face-to-face with a skeleton whom was an inch or two taller than you, and was wearing a blue jacket, shorts, and slippers.

Your eyes went wide at the sight (not because he was a skeleton, really - more just because you hadn't expected there to be a person right there). 

The man turned and gawked at the skeleton, not seeming ready to back down until something spooked him and he turned away.

You looked back at the skeleton and his eye sockets had gone completely black, and despite how he was standing with his hands in his pockets, he was surprisingly intimidating. Even though it wasn't directed at you, you still found yourself taking a step back from him.

The angry man stumbled away, getting ready to bolt for it, when suddenly the police arrived and handcuffed the man, taking him away.

You ignored the rest of whatever was being said to everyone, and instead turned to the mystery man (whom now had a taller skeleton with a scarf standing behind him, looking very upset).

"it's okay paps, the guy's not gonna be comin' back any time soon," the shorter skeleton reassured the taller skeleton, Paps (?), patting his arm.

Your adrenaline was draining quickly and you felt wobbly and anxious, the reality of what just happened finally hitting you and making you feel like a total, complete idiot. Sure, you helped get rid of the dumbass, but maybe you could have gone about it better? Or maybe someone else coulda gotten rid of him? Shit.

You watched the two skeletons for a moment before you decided to say something to them (as a way of forcing yourself to not shut down, mostly. You still haven't eaten and that much energy you just used really wore you out).

You coughed. "Uh, hey... thanks man, for helping out back there," You said to the shorter skeleton, rubbing your arm (trying to bring yourself down from an oncoming panic attack by scratching at your scabs), and darting your gaze away after first meeting his.

"hey, no problem kiddo, what you did there was really awesome. thanks for stickin' up for that couple - didn't seem like anyone else was gonna do it," He thanked you, and you felt your face heating up.

"Yeah, uh, heh.. I just got mad, really, and then... the rest is a blur, honestly," You chuckled slightly, still scratching a bit at your arm. "What's your name?"

"i'm sans. this is my little brother papyrus," The skeleton, Sans, said as he gestured to the taller skeleton.

"Oh..." A look of realization flashed across your face. "Wait, _the_ Sans and Papyrus? As in, Sans who loves puns and Papyrus who loves spaghetti?" You exclaimed in surprise, finally making solid eye contact.

Sans seemed genuinely surprised. "heh, yeah, kiddo. how'd ya _dough?_ " he asked, and it took you a moment to realize it was a pun. (Pasta - dough - know. It honestly was kind of a stretch, but... you had to give him credit for coming up with it on the spot like that). 

As you realized, you slowly began chuckling as Papyrus groaned.

"UGH! SANS! Must you infect everything with your GOD AWFUL PUNS?!" Papyrus shouted, stomping his foot.

Sans chuckled. "sorry paps, i've just got a skele-ton of skele-puns, and i'm not gonna tell a _fibula_ , i really do _love_ tellin' 'em," Sans shrugged and winked as Papyrus got increasingly frustrated. (You got everything except the part where he emphasized on the word love. Maybe it was an inside joke?).

"UGH! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU!" He screamed, stomping off to his table.

You barely contained your laughter at the exchange.

"eh heh heh. he sure seems to hate my puns. don't tell anyone, but secretly he loves them - he sometimes purposely makes puns in response to mine," Sans chuckled fondly.

You giggled. "That's adorable," you said.

"heh, yeah," Sans said with an easy-going smile. "so anyway, really. how do ya know us?" He asked, looking back up at you.

"Oh. Um..." you trailed off for a moment. What if he knew who you were? That you stopped talking to Alphys for a long time and what if he's mad like Undyne was? He would probably hate you knowing you had hurt one of his friends. "I uh, I'm friends with Alphys. And Undyne, now... I think. I'm Neb," You said, smiling sheepishly as you rubbed your neck, glancing away for a moment.

A look of realization crossed his features, and you briefly wondered how his face was so animated for a skeleton.

"oh, so you're the famous neb. yeah, i've heard about ya," He said, and you couldn't tell if he hated you or not. Your stomach twisted with guilt - or was that hunger? Probably both.

"Yeah..." You trailed off. "Um, well. Thanks again for, you know, helping out..." You looked over towards your table, and you saw that your waitress was placing your food down. When she saw you she signaled to it to let you know it was there. You nodded in thanks. "Uh, well, my food's here so I'm gonna, ah... go and.. eat that," You said stiffly, mentally kicking yourself, yet again, for being so awkward.

"hey, why don't you join paps and i? i'm sure he'd love to talk to you. he's real glad you helped out, he was really upset over that guy's yelling and the mean things he was saying," Sans suggested.

You faltered.

"I, um..." You didn't plan this! What were you gonna do?! Ugh, why did life have to be unexpected...? "Sure. Lemme just grab my food," You smiled anxiously at him, and he nodded before shuffling over to his seat with Papyrus.

You quickly went over to your table and grabbed your food and water, bringing it over to Sans and Papyrus's table.

You smiled at them as you took a seat.

"HELLO, HUMAN!" Papyrus boomed happily and you flinched slightly.

"Howdy," You smiled back at him.

You took a sip of water.

"Thank you so much for what you did, human! You are a true hero!" He lowered his voice, but he was still loud and very... excited.

You didn't understand it.

"Oh, um... heh, it was nothing. I'm glad to have helped," You smiled at him, glancing at Sans in the corner of your eye who was just watching the exchange.

For a guy who seemed pretty laid-back, he also seemed intimidating as fuck.

You felt yourself squirming slightly.

You took another sip of water, still not having touched your food.

"ya gonna eat that kid, or are ya gonna just continue to drink water?" Sans asked, and you flinched slightly.

"Oh, um..." You chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I just..." Oh boy, how do you explain this to strangers?

You really hated not being able to plan your conversation beforehand.

"I just. Ah. I eat these kind of weird, so... er..." You glanced at them, who both looked at you expectantly. "Uh, as a kid I almost choked and died like multiple times eating these so now I eat them with a fork and knife so I can limit how much I'm eating at once, that way I won't choke on the cheese like I have many times before. Especially when I'm really hungry," You explained, laughing slightly.

Papyrus gaped. "That is not good, human! I am very sorry to hear you have almost died from something as delicious as mozzarella sticks! I am very glad you can still eat it, however, because it is amazing! Not as amazing as spaghetti, of course, but...!" Papyrus rambled.

You smiled sheepishly at him, before glancing to Sans.

"gotta do what ya gotta do, kid. it ain't weird," He said and you felt mostly reassured, so you finally began to eat you mozzarella sticks, cutting them before dipping it in your marinara sauce and then eating it.

You almost moaned at how good it was - you were _so_ hungry. Plus, you haven't had these in longer than you could remember.

"that good, huh, kiddo?" Sans asked, chuckling.

You opened your eyes, realizing you had closed them and you had been making a... very happy face. Swallowing the bite, you lowered your head in embarrassment, laughing a bit.

"I haven't had these in ages," You told him, wiping your face in a kind of nervous gesture.

"yeah, they're _bread-y_ good, aren't they?" You could've sworn you saw a twinkle in his eye as he smirked.

You laughed dryly (you tried to hide your true amusement). "Ha. Ha. Very funny, Sans. But for a guy who seemingly is a master at puns, you've been stretchin' them. Are you really as good as I heard?" You challenged him, taking a bite of food as you watched his eyes light up (the little white lights in his sockets widened), and heard Papyrus groan next to you.

"NO! DO NOT TEMPT HIM, HUMAN! HE WILL NEVER CEASE THE PUNS ONCE HE BEGINS!" Papyrus cried. You sniggered.

"oh come on bro, no need to be _salty_ ," He relaxed even more (how was that possible?) into his seat, leaning back and smirking as he glanced at the salt on the table.

You almost choked on your food.

How ironic.

"UGHH!!" Papyrus cried pathetically next to you.

Sans took a sip of the drink in front of him. "what, would you like me to... fuckoffee?" He asked, and this time you couldn't stop your giggling.

"TIBIA HONEST, BROTHER, I WOULD! NYEH HEH!" Papyrus said triumphantly, causing Sans to start chuckling as he gave you a look that said 'I told you so'.

You hummed to yourself, trying desperately to come up with your own pun that you could join in with, but unfortunately for you, you sucked ass at coming up with clever puns on the spot. (Despite wishing you could).

Oh! You got an idea!

You smirked as you began speaking. "Honestly, this whole conversation is beginning to... hmmm... rattle my bones," You decided on saying, a choice between that and "this is getting under my skin". You figured it'd be funnier to go with the skeleton pun. (Seeing as you're seated with two skeletons, one of which that loves to make skeleton puns).

Suddenly, both Sans and Papyrus went dead silent, and turned to gape at you.

You gulped, your smile faltering. Had that been offensive? Oh no, you just wanted to be funny, maybe you should've gone with the skin joke... shit, they probably hate you now, fuck-

"UGH! SANS! YOU'VE INFECTED HER WITH YOUR HORRIBLE PUNS!" Papyrus groaned, and Sans immediately burst out laughing.

"hey, nice one, kid. that was a real _rib tickler,_ " Sans joked (Papyrus could be heard sighing in the background), and you nearly cried with relief that they weren't mad at you, and at the fact of: how the fuck did he just continue spewing puns?! You could never achieve this level of pun mastery. 

You laughed along with the two, and seeing as you were still starving, began eating more of your food.

After a few minutes of mostly quiet (you had all seemed to remember your food around the same time and began eating), Sans did something... odd.

He began chugging a bottle of ketchup.

You gagged, nearly choking on your own food as you wrinkled your nose in disgust at the sight.

Sans took his time, sighing happily after finishing it and clicking the lid shut, wiping his mouth as he set the bottle down. "why the sour look, kid?" Sans asked, and then exaggeratedly looked at your glass of water - which, of course, had lemons in it.

Papyrus slapped his forehead and shook his head.

You contemplated throwing it at him, but decided against it. (Not because you didn't wanna do that to him, no - simply because you happened to enjoy your damn lemon water and didn't wanna waste it. Obviously).

"You drink ketchup?" You asked flatly, a disgusted look still gracing your face despite your best efforts to get rid of it.

"hey, it's no weirder than your whole 'eating finger food with a fork and knife' thing, buddo," Sans said, and your mouth dropped open for a second before you yelled "Hey!" at him, to which he immediately began laughing at.

You sulked, looking away as you put your knife and fork down, crossing your arms and practically pouting (you didn't, though - you weren't about to be _that_ childish).

"oh, lighten up, kiddo," Sans said, pointing at a light above it. "wouldn't wanna _spoil_ such a nice afternoon, now would we?" He tried to contain his own laughter.

You were starting to see Papyrus's exasperation. (And just how true his statement was about Sans not stopping once he started).

"I'm sorry you have to put up with this, Papyrus," You said as you looked at Papyrus, pouring as much genuineness as you could in the phrase.

Papyrus brightened, holding a hand to his chest as he seemed to practically glow. "NYEH! It is not a problem, human! As annoying as Sans and his puns may be, he is still my brother and I love him!" He exclaimed sincerely.

"aw man, bro, you're breakin' my heart here," Sans said.

Papyrus glared at him. "Are you literally incapable of not making puns?" He asked.

You held in your laughter as you watched the exchange.

"hmm... i guess it's just too hard to pass up on such amazing... popportunities," He said, and for a moment you were confused until you followed his line of sight.

Papyrus was drinking soda.

"UGH!" Papyrus screamed in frustration and you couldn't hold back your laughter anymore, dissolving into a fit of giggles as you tried to keep yourself from literally dying.

Guess the skeleman wasn't all that terrifying, after all.

 

The three of you began spending the next little while together in there, joking and laughing and a lot of yelling in frustration. Your waitress easily found that you had moved (seeing as you hadn't gone far, and you had been the one to stand up to that jerk), and stopped by a few times to check on how your meals were doing, to which you all told her it was very good (Papyrus going an extra step to exclaim that it's almost as good as his cooking and that he loves it very much!).

Finally you all had finished up, and after you each paid for your meals, the three of you began to leave.

As you left the building, a thought occurred to you.

"Hey, so, this was really fun," You began, addressing the two skelebros as they looked at you. Papyrus smiled brightly and chimed in with a "YES IT WAS, HUMAN!". 

"And uh, I was kind of wondering... ah, wanna exchange numbers? Maybe we could hang out again or somethin', I don't know," You began mumbling towards the end, starting to feel anxious as you scratched at your arm.

What if they didn't wanna hang out again? Sure, you all had had fun, but... you didn't wanna end up being a burden to them.

You were so damn scared of rejection. But after the time you spent with them, you had felt confident enough to ask... despite still being terrified.

"OH, THAT IS A WONDERFUL IDEA, HUMAN!" Papyrus cheered, quickly shoving his hand in a pocket somewhere and pulling out a phone. Sans did the same.

"yeah, sure thing, kiddo," He said. "what's your number?"

"Oh, uh," You waited for Papyrus to be ready, and then you quickly rattled off the digits of your phone number, to which they clacked away on their phones (how were they even using them? They had iPhones. But they were skeletons. What the fuck?). 

They both sent you a message, and... well, it was rather obvious who was who.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 2:17PM  
heya kid

xxx-xxx-xxxx 2:17PM  
HELLO HUMAN!

You chuckled - the way they typed definitely sounded the way they spoke. Sans seemed like a lower case kind of guy,  
meanwhile Papyrus was a capital letter kind of guy.

You were glad to see that they typed that way.

"OH, HUMAN, I DON'T THINK I EVER GOT YOUR NAME?" Papyrus inquired. "I need something for your contact that is not just 'human' because I already know another human and it would be very bad if I mixed you two up!" He exclaimed quite seriously, and you found yourself chuckling.

"Uh, my name's Neb," You told him, to which he beamed.

"NEB?! What a pretty name!" He said, and you flinched slightly. Yeah, pretty didn't necessarily have to be associated with feminine, but...? You couldn't help but feel that's the way he meant it.

"Heh, thanks," You smiled tightly back at him.

Sans eyed you.

Coughing slightly, you looked away from the both and quickly saved their numbers.

Sans was now 'punster' and Papyrus was just simply; "PASTA".

You figured it suited them.

After saying your goodbyes and parting separate ways, you made your way back to Alphys and Undyne's apartment.

"I'm back!" You shouted into the apartment as you walked in (noting that the door had been unlocked).

When you didn't immediately get a response, your mind supplied you with images of them being dead, or the house being completely trashed, or something.

You sighed with relief when Alphys called back. "Hey Neb! H-how was your afternoon?" She asked you as you stepped into the living room, where she and Undyne were curled up on the couch. Undyne was awake but seemed half asleep.

"Heya punk," She yawned, sitting up and stretching a bit as she blinked her eyes open.

Lazy Saturday's were probably the best thing.

"Hey. It was good, Alphys - I actually ran into Sans and Papyrus who you've mentioned before. They were really nice," You said, smiling fondly as you thought back to the lunch you had only just left no more than 15 minutes ago.

"O-oh, really?!" Alphys squealed, muting the television. "T-that's awesome!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah," You said as you went and got a cup of water. Suddenly you remembered the pills you had taken the previous day - hmm, had you moved them this morning?

Oh, yeah. You remembered placing them in your backpack at one point, but it must have just been a subconscious act.

"Sans was really funny. Papyrus got really angry at Sans for his puns, but threw in a few of his own a couple of times. Honestly, it was just all really fun. I got their numbers," You told them as you sat down on the floor in front of the couch, leaning against the coffee table as you faced them.

"How did you even initially meet?" Undyne asked, and your face dropped slightly.

"Ah, um... there was this douchebag making a scene so I yelled at him to fuck off, and then when he wouldn't back down, Sans got up and backed me up and scared the shit outta the man by making his eye sockets go completely dark or somethin'. After that, we began talking and I realized who they were and told Sans who I was, and then he invited me to join him and Papyrus and... yeah. After that, it was pretty great," You explained.

"O-oh, wow," Alphys said.

"Yeah. Anyways, how has your afternoon been going? Lazy, I assume?" You glanced at the TV.

"Yeah, we've been watchin' TV all morning and afternoon. It's been relaxing," Undyne said.

"Cool cool," you said and then decided to join them in their laziness.

 

The day went on, and you found yourself thinking of the brothers quite often. Papyrus was really sweet, if loud. Sans was... interesting. 

You didn't really have a better word to describe him.

You hoped you'd be able to see them more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEEY!!  
> this chapter was really fun to write!  
> ah, finally getting somewhere interesting with this shit!  
> honestly, for the most part, writing this has been like. fun but boring due to all the damn details i'd put. finally having some real scenes with other characters and banter? hell fucking yes. (also writing sans is just fucking amazing)
> 
> ANYHOW!
> 
> im 24 minutes late BUT IT'S BEEN 7 MONTHS SINCE I FIRST BEGAN THIS FIC!!
> 
> HAPPY 7 MONTH ANNIVERSARY TO THIS FIC, IVE BEEN MORE COMMITTED TO YOU THAN MY LAST RELATIONSHIP!!
> 
> hahahaha.
> 
> also, i had this idea planned out in my head since like i first began writing chapter 1, so i hope it's good! i really wanted something where reader stands up to some asshole and then snas is grateful towards u for it sO YEAH HERE YA GO 
> 
> ENJOY THIS SHIT
> 
> I KNOW YOU WAITED FOR IT
> 
> I DID TOO
> 
> AAAH
> 
> FINALLY
> 
> PROGRESSIONNNNNNN
> 
> LEAVE A COMMENT SO I CAN KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT! YOUR COMMENTS MAKE ME HAPPY AND MOTIVATED TO KEEP WRITING <3 BYE! I LOVE YOU GUYS


	15. Smash Bros and Overused Puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You hang out with the skelebros! You're also slowly starting to feel better about yourself.
> 
> Of course, this results in getting sick.
> 
> (BTW, i know this is a reader fic, but look this 'reader' is basically an OC, so yes, 'you' are italian. even if you aren't. sorry that it's not very reader-y! but to build a story, you can't have a completely blank character... and honestly, i'm italian, so yaknow... it's kind of just. it's really just me writing what i want. sORRY)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow...holy shit... i have a lot for you guys at the end of the notes.....i'm so so SO sorry...about the hiatus.....jesus christ last time i updated was january....and now it's nearly september....holy fuckkk.........
> 
> sorry if this chapter is shitty at all.
> 
> i just wanted to get it out.

“Ehh… ehhhh… ACHOOO!” You sneezed so hard you woke yourself up.

“Ughh, fuck, wha’ th’fuck,” You grumbled, rubbing your head and squinting your eyes.

Reaching over to the charger by your makeshift bed on the floor, you checked the time to see that it was noon. Wow, you really have been sleeping in quite a bit lately… that was… weird.

You sniffed and then groaned some more when you realized you had a stuffy nose. God, why now?

As you became more aware of your surroundings, you realized everything did feel kind of fuzzy and… stuffy. You didn’t like it.

Shoving your phone in your hoodie pocket, you got up (actually leaving your backpack on the floor for once) and immediately regretted it.

Colors swirled in your vision as you covered your eyes with your hand, hunching over and stumbling towards the wall. “Auughhh,” You groaned in pain. You got up _way_ too fast, apparently.

You began coughing thick, heavy coughs that wracked through your entire body and hurt your throat. You felt phlegm lodged in your throat, but you could tell that at this point no matter how hard you coughed, it wasn’t going to come up.

It took a few minutes of hacking and wheezing as you stayed slumped against the wall before your head eventually began to clear just enough for you to stand properly (well, hunched, but still… it wasn’t leaning against the wall anymore).

Groaning in pain, you squinted as you looked around the small room. You looked down at your makeshift bed, debating on whether or not you should just go back to sleep. You were still exhausted, but… it was noon. It would be rude to stay sleeping for so long when you’re a guest.

Scrunching your nose as you made your decision, you shook your head - bad idea - and then left the room. You didn’t take your backpack.

You made sure to close the door behind you, and then you placed your hands in your pocket, holding onto your phone. You made your way to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door.

You looked at yourself in the mirror.

God, you were a mess.

Your hair was a wreck (you needed more beanies), you had bags under your eyes and you overall looked… well, sick. You made a face, annoyed that you were sick - so, you decided to cover it up and push through the best you could.

You opened the small closet door within the bathroom and pulled out a cloth, running it under cool water in the sink. You then brought it to your face and wiped all over, pressing down and hoping to make yourself look more… lively.

It did its job (somewhat), and you shrugged (more mentally than physically) to yourself, wringing out the damp cloth before tossing it in the hamper.

Since you were already in here, you quickly used the toilet, washed your hands, and then left the room.

You made your way down the hall towards the living room (putting your hood up as you went), and you were greeted with the sight of Alphys and Undyne in the kitchen. You smiled. You were… extremely grateful towards them.

“Hey guys,” You greeted, and they looked up at you and smiled as well, greeting you in return.

“M-morning, Neb. A-are you hungry?” Alphys asked, and you shrugged, thinking. Then, you shook your head.

“Nah, I’m good. I don’t generally eat immediately after waking up,” You shrug again. “Thanks though,” You add. 

Alphys nodded. You were about to say something, when your phone buzzed in your pocket.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you pulled out your phone, and your initial thought was Sage - when had you last texted him? - but it wasn’t.

It was Sans.

punster 12:22PM  
hey neb. why couldn’t the bike stand up on it’s own?

You raised your eyebrows, a small huff escaping you as you went to respond. You hadn’t expected Sans to text you - especially starting off with a joke! But, then again, you supposed that made sense.

“What’re you laughin’ at, punk?” Undyne asked when she noticed your expression. You laughed a little nervously, looking up at her, turning your screen slightly inwards towards your chest.

“Oh, uh, heh. It’s just - Sans texted me. It’s the start of a joke,” You explained, and Undyne snorted.

“Yeah, that’s what you signed up for by giving him your phone number. Seriously, all he does is text people jokes. It’s never ending,” She feigned exasperation, but you heard the joking tone in her voice and you grinned, shrugging.

“That’s okay. It’s good I love jokes then,” You said, and then looked back at your phone and typed out a response.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:24PM  
hmm…..i dunno, why couldn’t it?

You sent, despite having heard the joke before. You figured you’d just humor your new friend.

punster 12:24PM  
it was two tired!

You snorted, shaking your head.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:24PM  
very funny. i’m seriously inflating with laughter

…It was a stretch. You knew it was. But, that’s the thing - you weren’t good at puns. You tried, but they were always terrible. You’d never reach Sans’s level, no… that would take a millennia of practice. Perhaps longer.

“W-what was his j-joke th-this time?” Alphys asked, and you glanced up with a grin.

“Oh, it was just that stupid joke that says a bike is “two tired” to stand,” You explained with a shrug, a small smile on your face. Undyne snorts and Alphys shakes her head. You were smiling- however, it was quickly interrupted by a fit of coughing. 

You shut off your phone and covered your mouth, your eyes squinting in pain from the coughing. “Ugh- gah-“ You groaned, sniffling after you finished coughing. Jeez, you really didn’t want to be sick right now. 

“Are you okay?” Alphys asked in concern, and you couldn’t help the swell of affection you felt from the way she cared.

You nodded. “Yeah, yeah- gah- fine, just…” You shrugged. “Dunno. I think I just need some water,” You said, and then walked over to a cabinet and grabbed a cup, filling it with water and taking a long gulp. You sighed when you finished, setting the cup down and wiping your mouth with your sleeve. “Ah, much better,” You declared.

You finally actually registered what it was Alphys and Undyne were doing in the kitchen - why hadn’t you realized before? - they were sitting at the dining table, and it appeared that Alphys was looking at some newspaper of sorts - oh, she was looking at the cartoon section - and Undyne was eating.

Man, were you already to the point of sickness that it would take you a long time to realize simple things like that, or were you just that numb to the world? Whatever. 

You refilled your cup and then sat at the table across from Undyne and Alphys. Placing your full cup down in front of you, you pulled out your phone again.

punster 12:25PM  
pfft. that was a major stretch, neb. i’d come up with another pun to counter that, but i’m afraid you made me deflate from the horridness of your pun. 

You hadn’t finished reading the text, but you snorted at that. You continued to read the rest of the message.

anyway, what’re you doing today? papyrus already misses you and he wants you to come over and probably talk about spaghetti or something.

You laughed quietly again, shaking your head as you typed out a response.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:30PM  
i’m not doing anything. however i’m afraid i’ve no idea where you live. but i’m totally not opposed to talk about pasta. i freakin’ love pasta. it comes with being italian, i suppose. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

After you sent that, you wondered if that would even mean anything to him. They probably know nothing of human history, nor how Italians are pretty much known for their love of pasta and hand gestures… but oh well. 

You looked up at your hosts. After a moment, you began to speak. “Hey, so, Sans just told me that Papyrus wants me to go hang out and talk about pasta, apparently,” You inform them, and then shrug. 

Undyne snorted. “Pasta is all Papyrus ever wants to talk about. He could go on for ages, so good luck with that,” She said, and you grinned, shrugging.

“That’s perfectly fine. I adore pasta, so I could probably talk about it with him for ages,” You smirked. “Anyway though, I’ll probably be going over to their place… honestly, I’m surprised they even wanna hang out so soon - we just met yesterday… but I suppose it’s fine, yeah?” You asked open-endedly, and then shrug to yourself and continue before waiting for an answer. “Oh well. Do you guys wanna come?”

Alphys shrugged. “I-I wouldn’t m-mind, but…” She glanced at Undyne; she shrugged too. “W-we k-kind of planned to d-do nothing,” Alphys said, and before she could continue speaking, you cut her off with the wave of your hand.

“Oh, that’s fine. Totally understandable, I get that,” You smiled at her reassuringly. “I’ll just… yeah,” You shrugged, taking another sip of your water and checking your phone.

punster 12:32PM  
pfft, well, paps will be glad to hear it. anyway, if you wanna come you can come at whatever time. our address is…..

You read the message, and then copied the address Sans attached and put it in your maps app. Oh, they didn’t live far- they were only like a 10 minute walk. Damn.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:34PM  
cool. expect me there by like 1. tell papyrus to prepare for an epic conversation about pasta. (okay more like a mild one ‘cause i’m a fraud i don’t actually know that much about pasta besides the fact i love it a lot)

You snicker to yourself as you send the message, and then after quickly down the rest of your water before standing up. “Alright, well I just told them I’ll meet them at like one, so. I’m going to go and get ready,” You said, suppressing a yawn as you put your cup in the sink. 

“Alright. Do you n-need a ride?” Alphys asked, and you shook your head.

“Nah. It’s only a ten minute walk, that’s nothin’,” You shrugged, and with that you left the room, going back to the guest room.

You bent down to pick up your backpack, but realized it was entirely too light - you panicked for a moment, until you remembered… oh! You never got your clothes out of the dryer yesterday! Shit, well. Neither Alphys nor Undyne said anything, so you supposed they just didn’t realize yet.

Holding onto your backpack, you left the room and headed down the hall to the small laundry room. The money was where you had left it - yep, they hadn’t been in here recently - and you walked over and opened the dryer.

Kneeling beside it with your backpack opened, you began to shove your now clean clothes into your backpack.

You felt a little giddy at the thought that your clothes were finally _clean_.

After you finished shoving all of your clothes in your backpack, you zipped it up, shut the dryer door, and headed to the bathroom.

You placed your phone on the counter, and then took off your hoodie and t-shirt. Unzipping your backpack, you rummaged inside until you found a cami, a t-shirt, hoodie, pants, and deodorant. You placed the deodorant on the counter, and then pulled the cami on backwards, folding it up like always so it would serve as a makeshift binder.

Maybe one day you could afford a real, proper binder? Sure, you had the one… but it was twenty-five dollars from amazon and hurt after a few minutes of wearing it. You generally tried not to wear it, unless you were desperate.

Shrugging to yourself, you grabbed the deodorant and put it on. After that was done you pulled on your shirt. 

For a moment you almost wished you could just leave in your shirt- if you were honest with yourself, you looked good in it. It was a Doctor Who shirt, of course. However, you couldn’t. You glared at the scabs on your arms.

These past few days have been… very kind to you, honestly. You were beginning to think that you were an idiot for doing what you did… perhaps your mind had just been clouded by grief and anger? Alcohol, too.

Hmm. You tried not to dwell on it, and instead just pulled on your hoodie.

With that done, you kicked off your pants and pulled on a new pair. (Man, you were glad you could actually do this!). Then, since your beanie was finally clean again, you pulled that on, making sure the purple fringe of your hair was showing.

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You… looked good. Despite that you were still feeling sick, you… you were clean, you felt clean, and you looked good.

How long had it been since you’d felt this way?

It feels like ages.

Smiling to yourself, you zipped up your backpack, bundled up your dirty clothes, grabbed your phone off the counter, and left the bathroom, heading back to the guest room. Throwing the dirty clothes in a heap beside your makeshift bed (you’d deal with it later…and you didn’t want to mix it with your now clean clothes), you take a moment to stretch and yawn. Despite feeling good mentally right now, your body was still… tired.

Maybe you weren’t as sick as you felt when you initially woke up?

Yeah, you could handle today. When was the last time you actually hung out with a friend and had a good time?

Far too long.

What had you done to deserve this strike of goodness?

Shaking your head, you forced yourself to stop dwelling on it. No bad thoughts - not for today, at least! You wanted to stop being so depressing.

Had you had some sort of epiphany in your sleep or something? You chuckled to yourself. Why were you feeling so… normal?

Maybe you shouldn’t question it.

Or maybe you should. Was this supposed to be happening? Did you deserve this? Would it last?

“Gah! Shut up!” You muttered to yourself, shaking your head once more to rid yourself of your thoughts. You had a habit of overthinking and finding out ways a good thing could actually be bad.

Scowling to yourself, you force yourself to take a deep breath.

Relax.

Your stomach growled.

Rolling your eyes, you pulled your phone out of your pocket. 

punster 12:35PM  
would you say you’re an… impasta?

You stared down at your phone, gaping for a moment. Then, you broke out into fits of giggles. Oh man, this guy was great! Where had he been all your life?! 

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:43PM  
oh my god. i snorted. but yes, that is exactly what i am. i need to be… impastined? …….that was a stretch but i’m going with it anyway.

You snorted to yourself as you clicked send, shaking your head. Yeah, you weren’t the best at puns, but at least you tried, right?

You suddenly were hit with a wave of nostalgia.

 

_”Here’s your totally serious gift!” You said as you grinned, handing your dad one of the presents you got him for Christmas. It was a gag gift, but you couldn’t resist. It was too perfect!_

_Your dad shook his head as he opened the gift. He laughed when he looked at it. “Ah yes. This is perfect, thanks ____,” You were in a good mood, so you didn’t let the birth name get you down right now._

_Instead, you grinned like an idiot. “I know right?! I figured you could use it since you and Mom are always going out to hotels,” You said, shrugging._

_The gift you had gotten him was a ‘do not disturb’ plastic hook thing that you were given at hotels, but the pattern was mac and cheese and on it it said ‘No impastas allowed!’. When you found it, you thought it was the best thing ever._

 

You shook your head. Whoa. What was that? You scrunched up your nose. That was… weird.

Instead of dwelling on the memory, you checked your phone and saw that Sans had already answered.

punster 12:44PM  
nice try. i’m afraid you’ll never pastably be as great as me when it comes to puns ;D

You snorted, the memory quickly being forgotten, despite the fact it left you with a weird feeling in your gut. You seriously hoped that didn’t happen again.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:45PM  
man, you’ve defeated me again. i guess i’m gonna have to brush up on my puns if i ever wanna get anywhere in a pun battle with you. pfft. anyway, i’m heading out in a few minutes (most likely) so be expecting me soon. … if i don’t get lost on the walk there

You pocketed your phone after sending the message, and looked around the the small guest room. 

You hummed to yourself. You felt almost like you were… forgetting something, in a way, despite knowing that was impossible. You shook your head.

You were about to turn and leave, when you realized you still had your backpack. … Did you truly need to bring it with you?

Would it be alright if you left it? You were sure it would, but… you took a deep breath.

All you needed was your phone, your charger, and possibly money, right? So, bracing yourself, you set your backpack on the floor by your makeshift bed, and pulled out your wallet and placed it in your pocket with your phone. Then, you unplugged your phone charger and rolled it up, fitting it in with your phone and wallet.

With another deep breath, you deemed yourself ready to go.

You left the room and went back to the kitchen.

“Hey, do you guys have like… I dunno, granola bars? Toast? Something I can quickly eat and then leave,” You shrugged, looking at Undyne and Alphys.

Alphys nodded. “There’s - there’s bread in there,” She pointed at a cabinet, and you nodded. “The, uh, toaster oven is there,” She pointed to the counter where it was, and you nodded again, going to grab the bread.

“Thanks,” You said, and then located the toast. You opened the bag, pulling out two slices and popping it in the toaster. You turned back to Undyne and Alphys. “Sorry that I’m asking a lot, but do you have paper plates and butter as well?” You asked sheepishly, feeling a little bad for the continuous questions. 

Undyne walked up next to you and slapped her hand down on your shoulder, making you flinch. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, punk! The paper plates are in that cabinet there, and there’s butter in the fridge. Before you ask, silverware is in that drawer,” She pointed to each thing, and you nodded gratefully. She walked back to her seat.

“Thanks, I appreciate it. You sure you guys don’t wanna come?” You asked as you went and grabbed a paper plate from the cabinet, placing it on the counter beside the toaster oven. 

Alphys nodded. “We’re- we’re sure. You have fun…” Alphys said, and you smiled at her before going to the fridge and pulling out the butter, placing it besides your plate.

“Alright, if you’re sure,” You said, pulling a knife out of the silverware drawer and placing it on top of the thing of butter. You then turned and leaned against the counter, facing your hosts. “I uh, I dunno when I’ll be back, but I don’t think I’ll be too long…” You trailed off, and Undyne cackled.

“You don’t think you’ll be too long?! Ha! Good luck with that, punk; Papyrus can keep you in a conversation against your will for _hours_ ,” She smirked, and you must have made some sort of terrified face because Undyne laughed harder.

“Uhh… jeez…” You rubbed your arm nervously. “Well, I guess I’ll need that luck then, heh,” You chuckled dryly, feeling a little on edge now. You weren’t good at conversation… how would you…? You shook your head; no dwelling on it.

You pulled out your phone as you waited for the toast to be done.

punster 12:46PM  
pfft yeah, try not to get lost, as it would be impastable for you to find your way back!…see you soon

You snorted, rolling your eyes.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:51PM  
you can’t keep using different versions of the same pun, you know. that’s cheating. get some variety!

You smiled to yourself, pocketing your phone once more and turning at the sound of a small ‘pop’. Carefully pulling the toast out of the toaster, you dropped it on the plate, took off the lid to the butter, grabbed the knife and began to spread the butter over the toast.

Once you were satisfied, you dropped the knife in the sink, and then placed the butter back in the fridge.

Grabbing the plate, you slapped both pieces of toast together to form some sort of sandwich, picked it up and threw the paper plate in the trash, taking a bite of your toast.

“Okay, well, see ya!” You said to your hosts with a mouth full, waving as you turned and began walking towards the door as you chewed.

“Bye, Neb! Be - be safe!” Alphys called after you, and you nodded.

“I’ll try!”

“Have fun, punk! Tell Papyrus I say hi!” 

“Pft, sure. Bye!” You shook your head slightly in amusement, opening the door and heading out.

You held the toast with your teeth as you pulled out your phone.

punster 12:52PM  
that’s an impastable task, i’m afraid. perhaps i should be impastined? 

You snorted at his mocking towards your earlier attempt of ‘imprisoned’. 

xxx-xxx-xxxx 12:54PM  
yes, yes u should. pfft, i’m leaving alphs nd undyne’s rn. i’ll be there soon

You sent, and then opened up maps.

Grabbing the toast with your left hand, you held the phone with your right hand. Taking another bite of the toast, you reveled in the taste of it as you began to make your way to the skelebros house.

 

It didn’t take long for you to finish off your toast, nor did it take long to find Sans and Papyrus’s house. As it was, they lived nearby; plus, your map didn’t take you any strange ways, which was a plus.

You were… pretty sure you were standing outside of their apartment right now. You took a deep breath, suddenly feeling a little nervous. You pulled out your phone.

xxx-xxx-xxxx 1:07PM  
hey, i think i’m here? i’m standing outside an apartment and i’m hoping it’s yours, ‘cause if it’s not someone might think i’m stalking them

You sent, and no more than fifteen seconds passed before the door was opening, and out walked Sans. You grinned, waving as you began to walk towards him. “Hey!” You called out.

“heya neb. have a fun journey?” He asked, gesturing for you to walk inside and you nodded in thanks, following him inside. 

“Yeah, I had an amazing journey of walking all the way over. Seriously the best,” You said sarcastically, but you were smiling. The anxious nerves were… leaving. Kind of. Or were they increasing? It was hard to tell; you were feeling quite a few different emotions.

Sans grinned, shrugging. “sounds great. papyrus is in the-“

“HUMAN NEB!!!” You winced when Papyrus’s loud voice rang out, and before you could even register what was happening he was bounding out of some room, running towards you and wrapping you up in a hug.

You blinked uncomprehendingly for a moment (why was he giving you a hug? You guys just met yesterday!), but then slowly gave him a few pats on the back. “Uh, hi,” You managed to stutter out.

“HELLO!” Papyrus exclaimed, after pulling back and giving you a wide grin. You couldn’t help but smile back at him; it was infectious. 

“Hey,” You greeted again, although you weren’t sure why. “Um… Undyne told me to say hi,” You suddenly remembered, and shrugged. Papyrus seemed to get even happier, and honestly you didn’t think that was even possible until now. How could someone be so happy all the time? You tugged slightly at your sleeve anxiously.

“OH! DO TELL HER I SAY HI AS WELL!” Papyrus said, and you nodded.

“Of course,” You said, and then paused, looking around. Sans had shut the door and was leaning against it, and… you couldn’t see much past Papyrus. You seemed to be in some sort of narrow hallway. “So, um…” You started, and kind of gestured around. Luckily, you didn’t have to continue.

“OH, YES! Follow me, human! I will give you the grandest tour of The Great Papyrus’s house!… And Sans,” He added after a moment, and you snickered, obliging in following him. A quick glance behind you and Sans was indeed following- however, he was a very quiet walker… was it the slippers? Regardless, it felt a bit weird not being able to hear him walking behind you. You ignored it and tuned back in to listen to what Papyrus was saying.

“AND THIS IS THE KITCHEN! SLASH LIVING ROOM…SLASH DINING ROOM…” He said, his grand gestures dying off, and you laughed a little; after exiting the narrow hallway at the front door, the place opened up into a big space, and there was an area with countertops, a sink, a fridge and so on, and there were no walls separating it from where merely some feet away was a couch, a tv, and you noticed some gaming consoles. 

You tried not to be reminded of your old home. 

“It’s lovely,” You said aloud, and Papyrus beamed.

“THANK YOU HUMAN! COME ALONG, THERE IS MORE TO SEE!” He said, and you didn’t question it as you followed him down another hallway.

He ended up showing you where the bathroom was (which you figured you’d be taking pit stops at, if you had to be here long), his bedroom, and Sans’s… door. You could respect that he didn’t want his privacy invaded- in all honesty, you thought it was a little weird that Papyrus brought you into his room and showed you basically everything to it.

There was also a small laundry room off to the side, but that was pretty much all there was to the apartment. It was small, and one-story. You figured it was good enough for two people, though. 

You let out a small sigh of relief when the tour was done, and you were standing in the open-space of the living room/kitchen area. The apartment really was rather nice, considering; plus, you spotted multiple pictures frames in places, and you had even recognized Undyne and Alphys in a few. The place was homey. 

Home.

You shoved your thoughts aside. 

“So, uh…-“ You began somewhat lamely, but were cut off (which you were honestly glad for, you had no idea where you were going with the sentence).

“I AM VERY GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT, HUMAN!” Papyrus suddenly said, and you shrugged, shifting a little.

“I uh, it’s not like I had anything else going on,” You muttered. You weren’t quite sure if he heard you.

“I HEARD THAT YOU ARE A LOVER OF PASTA!” He went on, and you raised an eyebrow at him, before glancing at Sans.

He was sitting on the armrest of the couch, looking almost suspiciously neutral. You turned back to Papyrus. 

“Uh, yeah, I love all types of pasta,” You shrugged. You had a feeling your neck was going to start hurting, what with having to crane it backwards to even see Papyrus. 

“BRILLIANT!” He exclaimed. Were there stars in his eye..sockets? “I WOULD LOVE TO DISCUSS THE FUNDAMENTALS OF PASTA WITH ANOTHER PASTA LOVER-“ He began, and your mouth dropped open slightly as he began listing a bunch of different pastas you didn’t even recognize.

You put your hands up in defense, and quickly dropped them when your sleeve began to ride up. You fixed it, before speaking. “I uh, er. I love pasta, but uh, sorry to um, disappoint… I don’t actually… know all the different types… and stuff…? Uh,” You were regretting this. “I just. Love the way it tastes. And uh. I come from an Italian family-“ You stopped, and then shifted on your feet. “Not that that, uh… you probably don’t… know the Italian stereotypes, do you?” You asked, glancing between Sans and Papyrus. When they didn’t seem fazed, you laughed a little nervously. “Uh. Well. Basically, um, it’s a uh…” You were suddenly forgetting all basic backgrounds about human history. “Like, okay. I’m Italian. It’s a uh… type of… well, it’s where my ancestors are from- Italy,” You shrugged. “Anyway, Italians are known for… loving pasta, making pizza and meatballs- I mean, I personally don’t like meatballs, but th-that’s besides the point- and uh, anyway. Italians are stereotyped as lovers of cheese and pasta. I mean… it’s _true_ … but yeah,” You’d lost your point, and you were beginning to sweat. What was with you and weird, long rants? You wiped your forehead nervously. “Anyway. My point is. I grew up eating pasta and loving it, blah blah blah, but I never actually… uh. Learned all the different types. Sorry…” You shouldn’t’ve come. You sighed.

You heard something that sounded like a laugh, but was quickly cut off from behind you. You dared a glance back and noticed Sans covering his mouth- he looked… amused? You glanced back at Papyrus. 

“OH, HUMAN! THAT IS OKAY!” He said, and you honestly lost all sense of reactions because, what the fuck? You’d just made a fool of yourself…and… “HOWEVER IT IS COOL TO LEARN SOMETHING MORE ABOUT HOW HUMANS WORK! IS EVERY HUMAN A… ITALIAN THAT COMES FROM ITALY?” He asked, tilting his head, and you had to resist the urge to laugh at the absurdity of this entire situation.

“Uh, no. Humans are- humans… I mean, uh. _Everyone_.. is extremely diverse, yaknow? Uh. Only people from Italy are..Italian… or somethin’…” You shrugged. “There’s Americans, Germans, Asians… Koreans, um, other things…” You knew all of these meant nothing to the skeletons, so there was no point in trying to include as many things you could remember. You shrugged. “It’s just. Where you’re from. On earth. And you get a title slapped on you, as well as a stereotype,” You said, and shrugged. 

This is not how you expected this day to go.

“HUH. THAT IS… INTERESTING,” Papyrus said, and it _seemed_ like he was being sincere… whatever.

You shrugged. “Uh, yeah. It uh.. I mean, it causes unnecessary divide between humans, because, reasons…racism… whatever…” You weren’t very articulate when it came to talking about these things. You were passionate about it, sure; you believed everyone should just love each other, but… when it came to discussing it, you generally fumbled for words and if it was a fight, you’d just yell a lot. It… you needed to work on it. “But…yeah… anyway… I like stuff like uh. Spaghetti,” You shrugged. It was the first thing to come to mind, and you were aware that Papyrus loved spaghetti, due to how often Undyne and Alphys would laugh about it.

His eyes lit up on cue. “AH, YES! TRULY THE WORLD’S MOST MAGNIFICENT FOOD!” He exclaimed, and you relaxed somewhat as you nodded.

“Totally,” You said, and honestly you were wondering why Sans wasn’t saying a lot. Did he not actually want you to come over? 

However, almost as if he’d somehow read your mind, he finally hopped up and spoke up. “so, are we gonna stand around talkin’ about pasta or are we ever gonna sit and i dunno, pastably play a game, or take a nap,” He said, and you smirked as Papyrus groaned.

“Saaanns, oh my god, quit using the same pun over and over!” You whined good-naturedly. He just shrugged.

“nah. it’s not pastable,” He said, and you rolled your eyes. 

“SANS, STOP IT WITH THESE HORRID PUNS!” Papyrus said before you could speak. You snickered.

“aw, paps… don’t be upsetti…have some spaghetti…” He said, and your eyes widened as you covered your mouth, trying not to laugh at the _stupid fucking meme_ he obviously referenced. 

Well. It wasn’t stupid. You _loved_ that meme.

“UGH!” Papyrus groaned, although he didn’t sound as irritated as before at the mention of having spaghetti. “NOT BECAUSE YOU SAID TO, BUT I AM NOW GOING TO GO MAKE SOME SPAGHETTI. GOODBYE,” He said, and you snorted as he bounded off towards the kitchen- which was literally in the same room. You shook your head and turned to Sans.

“I think he really hates your puns,” You said as if it wasn’t obvious. Sans grinned.

“it’s entirely pastable,” He said, and you groaned loudly, throwing your hands up in the air in exasperation. You missed the way your sleeves moved, this time.

“Look, I love puns, but you gotta quit usin’ the same damn one!” You complained, rolling your eyes.

Sans merely shrugged. “like i said… it’s not-“

“Pastable, I fu-freaking know!” You said with a huff, cutting yourself off from cursing again. For some reason, you didn’t want to swear (again) in front of Papyrus.

Sans’s eye…lights… or whatever… seemed to brighten. “gotcha.” He said smugly, and you shot him a glare.

“Why did I exchange numbers with you again?” You sighed long-sufferingly, rolling your eyes and letting your arms drop helplessly, before joining him by the couch. You hesitated a moment, but when Sans promptly sunk into the seat, you sat down as well.

“‘cause of my amazin’ good looks,” He said sarcastically, and you snorted.

“Yep. That’s _totally_ it,” You rolled your eyes, and then scanned the few gaming consoles hooked up to the tv, and then glanced at Sans. “So… got your hands on a Gamecube, huh?” You asked, remembering the Gamecube you had had… and how often you played Super Mario Sunshine.

Sans shrugged. “yep. video games are a great pastime, besides napping,” He said, and you snickered when Papyrus protested from the kitchen. 

“Yeah, I gotta agree with you there,” You shrugged, and then paused. “Well. With the video games part- I can’t say naps are great,” You said it casually, and shrugged.

He gave you a mock-offended look. “what? someone who dares think naps are great? how could this be?” He joked, and you laughed a little, looking away.

“Yeah yeah, I know, I’m a disgrace. I’m just generally bad at sleeping, so naps aren’t really my thing,” You shrugged. 

Sans seemed to get the hint. “ah, well. wanna play video games?” He asked, and you glanced at him; after deciding that, yes, he was serious, you shrugged.

“I mean, sure,” You said, and then slowly began to smirk. “You got Smash Bros?” You asked. After you did, however, your smirk faltered slightly as you shifted. You loved that game… but that was always a game you loved to play with your family… your brother, specifically. You gulped and ignored it. 

“of course. it’s fun beating papyrus at it as a fat, chubby pink little dude, when he always plays as uh, one of the guys with all the armor,” He shrugged, and your eyes widened.

“Wait, are you referring to Kirby or Jigglypuff?” You asked. If he said…-

“jigglypuff, duh. the thing loves to sleep,” He said, and you snorted. Ah, made sense.

“I see why that’s your favorite, then. My personal favorite is Kirby. I guess we’ll be two fat, pink, floating dudes trying to kill each other?” You suggested, and Sans’s grin widened.

“wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

You were honestly surprised that things were going well, and… that it wasn’t all that awkward. You’d just met these people, but they’d somehow already accepted you- well, more Papyrus. Despite how laid back Sans seemed, you could _feel_ some… _negative_ emotion radiating off of him. He seemed mostly chill, but every now and then, you weren’t so sure. You didn’t know if you’d done something, or if that’s just how he was.

The day continued with you and Sans playing Smash Bros, and honestly having a _crap_ ton of close calls. He ended up beating you each time. You jokingly called him a cheater, but in all honesty, you’d never been that great… and it’d been awhile since you played.

You had mostly simple conversations with him, with Papyrus joining in from the kitchen.

Eventually Papyrus had finished his spaghetti, and insisted you both stop playing video games and come eat. You didn’t think you could accept free food from them- you’d just met them and they were already being so kind! But Sans and Papyrus insisted…

Although Sans seemed to be holding in some kind of humor.

He was watching you when you had the plate in front of you, and you were confused until you took a bite- and nearly gagged.

Holy shit… Papyrus could _not_ cook. Jesus christ… you did your best to swallow it down and tell him it was good anyway. When you glanced at Sans, he was trying not to snicker- what a bastard! 

After a few minutes of sufferingly eating through it, you noticed Sans’s was already gone. How the hell…?

After suffering through the meal, you drank a _lot_ of water before the three of you ended up playing Smash Bros together. Papyrus died the most. However, he somehow didn’t get upset about it at all- he was by no means a sore sport, and continued to play despite his horrible skills.

The day continued, and you ended up staying much longer than you expected- but you didn’t actually mind. You’d actually… had fun. Despite the absurdity of how kind they were to suddenly invite you over after having just met.

Eventually, though, you left, and headed back to Alphys and Undyne’s place. After all of the chatting and screaming at the video game, on the way back to the apartment, you felt much worse than you had that morning. How had you not realized how crappy you felt while at Sans and Papyrus’s house? You were absolutely exhausted! 

By the time you made it back, you barely managed to greet them and tell them what happened before excusing yourself and heading to the guest room.

You felt like shit. Ugh… you had to be getting sick.

You really didn’t want to be sick.

You sighed, and after some debate, decided you didn’t care about being comfortable, and just pulled off your beanie and camisole (which gave you great relief to your chest- it had begun getting hard to breathe), and went to sleep… rather early.

Somehow, you actually managed to fall asleep pretty quickly.

Ugh… of course you were getting sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well.  
> hey guys.
> 
> it's been what, 8 months?  
> 8 fucking months?
> 
> it's been almost a damn year since i last updated.
> 
> i am SO sorry.
> 
> (also, i changed the title of this story because i didn't like the previous one).
> 
> anyway...
> 
> a lot happened.  
> after the last chapter, i had gotten really sick with bronchitis (hence why neb is sick in this. i had started writing it all the way back in january after i was feeling better, and wanted neb to have the same sickness as me because it was hell, but then...), and then i just. got busy. or something?  
> a lot happened. just.  
> i mean, i was busy with school, number 1. i was stressed, and finals and exams and all that... sheesh.  
> anyway, then at one point, something happened.  
> something that made me utterly repulsed by this fanfic, something that made me want to delete it and never, ever continue it. i couldn't look at it, i couldn't think about it. someone made me feel sick to look at my own work.  
> that, plus the whole, oh shit, i wrote this too fast, i added things i shouldn't've, i made it too personal... etc. 
> 
> i honestly find this story very cringe-worthy. i want to go back and fix so many things, but i don't have the motivation, and i find it too... cringey. to look at.
> 
> sigh.  
> anyway, at one point, i really got back in the swing of writing. i was writing a little bit each day! i thought i'd get the chapter out quickly!
> 
> welp.
> 
> then summer rolled around. i went to sage's house for a month (yes, the sage that is in this story- btw, he's now my boyfriend). so, of course, i had no time to write there.  
> then.
> 
> i came home.  
> a few days later...
> 
> you remember tiff and josh? in this story? my dogs who i added in?  
> yeah.
> 
> josh died.  
> i watched him die.  
> in my mom's lap.
> 
> it... was horrible.  
> it was so horrible, guys.  
> today actually marks one month...  
> sigh.
> 
> among that shit, my family has also been having a shit ton of drama. my sister's getting a divorce, she's got addictions to shit, she's bipolar and she now has a new boyfriend (she's not even divorced yet). she moved in with us, and she's been causing so much stress to my parents and i.
> 
> so. long story short.
> 
> my life has been hectic and stressful and sad as hell.  
> i haven't had much time or energy or motivation to write.
> 
> also, because i started this so suddenly, and accidentally wrote things i should've saved for later...  
> i don't really know where i'm going with it.
> 
> i want to go back and change things in the fic. i do. but again- no motivation. plus, school starts on september 6th for me... it's currently august 31st.  
> wow, this is getting long.
> 
> but it's been a long time since i updated.
> 
> oi vay.
> 
> but yeah. just.
> 
> a lot has happened and i'm so sorry for being gone for so long. i don't know if i'm honestly going to continue this story, but... i couldn't just leave you guys hanging for months on end, especially after saying i was working on the chapter, and i'd been so determined to see it through to the end! i had to at least get some more content to you guys, and then let you know where i currently am with this fic... just so you guys are aware, and just so you wouldn't be disappointed by seeing a new chapter and it just me saying "im sorry, i'm no longer continuing"
> 
> ya know?
> 
> i felt i owed it to you all to get at least one more chapter out before warning you.
> 
> however, i did just suddenly get a burst of energy at five in the morning to finish this chapter. so who knows. i could continue it, but don't get your hopes up that i'll be writing a lot quickly again.
> 
> i love all of you guys so much. i'm so sorry, i'm so incredibly sorry for being one of those people to leave this unfinished for so long. i know a lot of you probably aren't even going to click on this... because it's been so long.
> 
> to those of you who do, thank you. it means a lot. it means a lot if any of you even read this super long ass end note. seriously.  
> gah.  
> i love you guys.  
> i'm so sorry.  
> this is long enough now, so i think i'm gonna leave at this.
> 
> thank you so much for reading, and i'm so so sorry again.  
> bye guys <3
> 
> (TL;DR: a bunch of stressful shit happened this past year, as well as sad shit, and i couldn't find motivation to write. i might not continue this, i might, but who knows, and i'm incredibly sorry for leaving for so long. i love you guys, and thank you so much for reading).


End file.
